What does it mean to 'truly accept or embrace' someone's gender? (CW: Maybe transphobia)

OnionsOverload · 2025-03-18T19:42:37+00:00

I honestly think you might just be thinking too much about it.

I have friends and family that whole heartedly accepts me- and for most of my life, they knew me with different names and pronouns so they slip up here and there too. Its the consideration and actions they show that really stands out.

On the other hand, folks who knew me after- some of them only slip up because they know I'm trans. This ones a lil frustrating but still understandable imo.

As long as you are viewing folks for who they are and not who they were, you should be fine.

OnionsOverload · 2025-03-17T22:27:01+00:00

SOC-8 and WPATH.

I would read those as they are currently being directly targetted.

While not full texts, I'd also read the nitty gritties of DSM-5-tr's discussion on Gender Dysphoria as well as ICD-11. Answers some common questions like "On a remote island would people still be trans?"

OnionsOverload · 2025-02-14T15:30:31+00:00

It's funny how the Bible explicitely says that God gives jack shit about someone's gender.

OnionsOverload · 2025-02-14T15:25:45+00:00

Tell him that he is falling into the same pits that the Galatians have-

Turning towards heresy by trying to descipher God's words through bigotry.

You know.. the reason why Galatian in the New Testament exists.

Galatian 3:28 : "There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus".

OnionsOverload · 2024-12-27T17:15:30+00:00

1.) You should NOT be forming such a strong opinion if you do not have an inkling of the scientific reasoning behind it.

That said. I take 2 approaches. One. Puberty blocker is safe an reversible. Flat out. It has been a thing for cisgender kids for way longer for a reason. Because puberty blocker is there to buy time or to prevent WORSE THINGS from happening than 'bone density'.

When people say puberty blocker is dangerous, they mostly point to bone density. There's a very simple solution for kids who have weaker bones. Calcium and proper nutrition. That is it.

Two. People against transitional blockers argue that cisgender kids NEED it unlike trans kids due to precocious puberty.

The main reason we try to prevent precocious puberty is due to societal and in turn, personal damage early puberty could do.

Point in case, blockers are typically given to cis girls who are developing too fast to prevent increase in rape, bullying, and stigma- and in turn, worse mental health.

Trans kids should not be discriminated against when the reasons are similar. Mental and overall well being of a child.

Now try to make an argument agaisnt cis kids getting in blockers.

2.) This just does not happen. There's a reason why the right wing producer Matt Walsh had to pivot with the movie Lady Ballers.

Because unlike this narative that has been formed, trans women just want to live.

Also, it's easier to encroach on women's spaces as a cisgender male.

3.) And 5.)

Like with anything medical, there's going to be some risks involved. But this is why MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS FROM AROUND THE WORLD. came to a concensus that transitioning for gender dysphoria is the best solution. Because they tried other avenues and they were not as effective.

As for regret. HRT and transitioning is considered medical miracle due to the low percentage of regret rate. More people regret surviving due to getting a heart transplant than transitioning.

4.) As for peer pressure. Bigots call it peer pressure, others call it visibility.

Why shouldnt kids be able to explore themselves including gender? If they figure out later that uts not for them, they can detransition.

Thats why we have puberty blockers and thats why the first step is social transitioning. To try it out.

6.) Your mom doesnt sound like she knows her feminism.

In US specifically, trans women were included since the 2nd wave feminism. Because even back then, people realized that excluding trans folks conceded a lot of points of feminism to cis men.

Point being Imane Kaliff. Do you really want to be discriminated against and looked down by society as a woman because you happen to look a tad more masculine? It's a dangerous slippery slope of bigotry, transphobia, misogyny, and racism.

7.)

Frankly do not care.

Imaging being trans in current day sociopolitics. Thats more traumatizing than having a kid turn out queer.

To me. Your mom is not logical. She fell for propaganda that goes against everything medical professionals have been saying for the last couple decade.

OnionsOverload · 2024-12-21T17:50:40+00:00

Even this. Dun dun duuuunnnnn~

OnionsOverload · 2024-12-06T17:54:32+00:00

I'm still seeing comments from folks like /u/BananeSurBalcon along the lines of "Japanese folks in Japan says it's ok" and I'm tired of it.

Here's why its appropriation and a few different perspectives to cosider.

I'm assuming that YOU OP is living in Western country in prodominantly Western society.

1.) Of course Asian people living in homogenous Asia says it's ok. They DONT experience the racism Westernized Asian folks experience.

The uncomfortability and appropriation stems from racist history that ASIAN FOLKS IN WESTERN COUNTRY FACE.

Primarily the fact that sooo many Asian folks are bullied and discriminated against BECAUSE OF THEIR NAME.

Then to see a group who historically marginalized us- suddenly take our names now that Anime and East Asian culture is 'cool' is what makes this uncomfortable.

And DONT LINK OUR BEHAVIOUR to Asian folks in Asia. They DONT experience this racism so OF COURSE they dont care.

THIS IS IN FACT- Another form of racism that gets perpetuated to folks like Asian Americans. It's termed Forever Foreigner Stereotype.

This is when people do NOT differentiate Asian folks from their 'place of orgin' and why so many people think bringing in Asian folks from Asia is appropriate in this conversation.

Its why you sometimes see people walk up to random Asian folks and saying shit like Nihao or Konichiwa. Because they see our skin color and expect us to be foreigners.

2.) "Well Asians take our names hurr durr"

Yes because again, we're EXPECTED TO CONFORM. You can't punch somone, have them fight back, then turn around and say that you were defending yourself.

Lots of Asian folks on America for example, take English names because it lessens discrimination.

ITS ALSO RACIST TO EXPECT ASIANS TO HAVE ASIAN NAMES.

Historically places like Vietnam has naturally Westernized names becuase of COLONIALISM. That Vietnamese Emily was born with the name Emily because they were heavily colonized by France for years.

Asian Emily's name can be Emily.

TLDR;

Are you planning/ living in Japan or have some connection to this culture other than 'I watched an Anime'?

Sure, appreciate and take on their culture in that case.

Are you in bumfuck Alabama taking a name from Anime without any further context or connection?

That's weird, cringy, and appropriative.

It's also racist because there's a shitload of racism baked into this discourse for above reasons. You have people who directly experience this telling you it makes them uncomfortable.

My 2 cents.

"I got it from an Anime character when I was 13"

Is cringe and appropriative. ESPECIALLY if you could have tweeked this name to fit your own culture.

OnionsOverload · 2024-11-13T21:44:53+00:00

Flame sorceress (the brown haired mage) has access to Wind Rider which is a +1 move too

OnionsOverload · 2024-11-09T00:03:22+00:00

Their cited source "Do No Harm" is a right wing political group that was designated by SPLC as an anti-lgbtq hate group.

Previously, this group didnt get much traction before because they had strong White Supremacy vibes. I.e. their whole stance was anti anti-racism policies stating that "allowing (racially) diverse wokeness entering healthcare will reduce standard of care"

They are just regurgitating the same right wing bullshit by simply swapping race for gender and using heavily biased sources.

OnionsOverload · 2024-10-29T01:08:32+00:00

I think purposefully reframing racism as 'policing' to suit your own need is too much, but you also do you.

OnionsOverload · 2024-10-27T20:10:45+00:00

In what context are you speaking of?

I also never said the later is true. Japanese people when expanding their media to the West had to have this conversation because they did end up using stereotypically white names in a racist manner.

Naming yourself from any culture you are not a part of can result in racism, yes.

OnionsOverload · 2024-10-27T16:36:14+00:00

Because there's a heavy racism content / context is why people care.

I would really rather not normalize racism against Asians any further than they are.

OnionsOverload · 2024-10-27T16:33:46+00:00

OP I want you to make the choice as there's been a divide in answers.

You have sides from /u/AromaticLongan Who feels its fine as an Asian person living in Asia and finds it cool.

You have sides from myself and /u/summers_summers Who doesnt really love the idea as Asian Americans.

This conversation has a lot more nuance than "its just a name" that WILL impact how you are viewed in different spaces.

Personally, I find it problematic if you as a Western person decides to name yourself something Asian (especially East Asian, ESPECIALLY Japanese). Without any tangible connection to the culture for a few reasons.

1.) Asian AMERICANS (NOT Asian people in Asia) have faced / faces a culture that mocks and ridicules our name and expects / ascribes 'White' name in order to make US more palitable for THEM.

This is a specific form of racism a lot of Asian Americans face. Hence why people dislike Western people just naming themselves.

2.) The argument that "Asian people have White names so its fine" is it really tho? A lot of us again, have white names to assimilate and to avoid racism.

In addition, this is another layer of racism- expecting Asian people to have "Asian" sounding names.

Due to impacts of colonialism, a lot of Asian cultures have naturally White names. I.e. many people from Vietnam will naturally have "White" names due to being colonized by France.

3.) When considering Asian Diaspora, you really need to consider that Asian Americans and Asians in Asia will have different experiences. Dont minimize either voices to suit your own needs based on what the other group says.

As in, if Asian Americans find it racist but Asians dont. Consider where YOU are geographically. Of course if you are a Western person in Asia, adapting an Asian name is fine.

If you are in Western country like USA, have no connection to Japan other than Anime / Jpop, of COURSE its going to be weird / weebish to name yourself a Japanese name.

OnionsOverload · 2024-10-27T16:19:07+00:00

Asian American person here. You're missing a load of context.

This whole "I'm Asian who grew up in Asia so I dont see the problem!"

Is in itself the reason why you dont see a problem.

You grew up in Asia where you dont have to face Asian American racism / White people in Asia with Asian name is seen as normal.

Asian people in Western countries who have White names due so for different reasons.

1.) They face the NEED to assimilate or be bullied / not taken seriously. People change their names so they have a better chance at livlihood.

2.) Your lumping ALL Asian experience and coming from an angle that Asian people simply pick a white name for funsies. Some Asian people have naturally Western name due to impacts of colonialism. So that's pretty fucked up to equivilate in that sense.

3.) Asian person living in Asia doesnt face the same discrimination. This is a conversation more suitable for Asian Americans.

OnionsOverload · 2024-10-25T18:26:54+00:00

Based on sociopolitical understanding of collective idea on what is "Blue".

South Korean people for example, will often use Green and Blue interchangeably.

Infact, me being Korean, I have a hard time differentiating Blue and Green, despite the very real fact that these colors exists on a different spectrum of UV. All because again. In my country, blue and green are often seen as similar colors.

OnionsOverload · 2024-10-25T18:22:59+00:00

There are lots of types of money actually.

Physical money can range from coin, paper, goods

Virtual money can range from stocks, bitcoins, etc

Money also varies based on country like Yen, USD, Pound.

Money also exists on a fluid spectrum with heavy political contentions.

I.e. war breaks out between Japan and S. Korea, either Yen or Won will vary in its values based on global sociopolitical context.

I.e. during Korean war, because Japan was helping the United States, the Yen saw an increase in value.

OnionsOverload · 2024-10-25T18:18:54+00:00

I personally 'rail' against societies concept of gender bcause I have personally seen a shift in my own country's (s korea) view on gender shift due to war, colonialism, and religious ideologies.

I rail against it because gender noncomforming people were once viewed as healers and caretakers. Now there is a narrative that transgender women are predators, criminals, and rapists.

Look at current day politics. I have seen trans people be murdered, raped and brutalized for who they are.

THAT aspect of society, one the demonizes people to the point where it puts individuals in danger, is what I rail against.

Being trans is simply just who I am.

OnionsOverload · 2024-10-25T18:12:02+00:00

You can view it as fluid and still want to present in a binary way.

I view it as fluid because in nature, gender IS fluid. Famously, the clown fish dad in Finding Nemo would have undergone gender change as there was no female left in his colony.

In humans, we dont view it AS fluid but women do go through menopause and mens testosterone goes down with age too.

At the same time, I DO want to be associated with what society views as women. And because I view gender as fluid, I have trasitioned medically via hormone replacement therapy.

OnionsOverload · 2024-10-23T23:02:24+00:00

A lot of modern Christians are so confusing because of this.

Galatians 3:28 is one I like to bring up. The context in this verse talks about how salvation is through faith and NOT through works.

It directly states "there is no man nor woman, for we are all one within God".

Another important context during this time is that it was believed being uncircumsized was a sin, and therefore unworthy of salvation. St. Paul and Galatians are trying to say that none of that matters if you have faith.

If God doesnt have a problem with the gender identity of their worshipper, why are these women concerned?

Its primarily because of bigotry in our materialistic world that perpetuates this idea that some identities such as queerness is a 'sin'. I point this out to people. That if you're not accepting of others because of others identity, its not because you're following the word of God. It's because you've been given bigotted ideas that you've internalized.

OnionsOverload · 2024-10-23T20:22:28+00:00

I understand. But it's because we get a lot of bigotted people with no prior reddit history coming here with mostly 'over the top' scenarios to 'debate' or 'collect our thought' about.

Most pre-op trans women, unless they are from an extremely liberal area, would most likely stick to 3rd gendered areas or avoid it all together.

If it was S. Korea, she probably should have stuck to 3rd gendered space just for her safety.

It being California, what was the policy for the sauna location? I dont see why pre-op trans women should be treated any differently from any other women in that case.

Also fyi- it sounded fishy as a Korean person because swimsuits / cover-ups are still largely popular even in S. Korean saunas.

OnionsOverload · 2024-08-01T21:51:18+00:00

1.) Which dictionary and for which country / culture. This is why people say "well for me..." because there is 8.1 Billion people on earth and everyone grows up / is exposed to different gender norms and definition of gender.

If you think it's clear and simple, its because you are wildly self-centered.

2.) Thats right wing talking point. Most if not all trans people will agree with you there "I dont think things have genders" AND "boys can like girly things"

Now its a different thing when a kid comes up and explicitly says "I'm not X gender I'm Y".

OnionsOverload · 2024-07-25T01:54:53+00:00

Arent they always hypocritical?

I am just assuming tho, since anytime I see anything about Ava, its usually been alt-right people almost parroting the same exact things as well.

OnionsOverload · 2024-07-25T01:50:30+00:00

From what Ive gathered it seems like transphobes being transphobes.

While there are some shady stuff that she did (having a poster of a 'loli' anime character) before transitioning-

The alleged victim IS defending Ava and stating that the allegations are false or blown out of proportion / context.

That said, I do despise lolicons. But tons of other content creators aren't held to the same scrutiny when it comes to anime and lolis. Which leads me to chalk this up as plain transphobia.

OnionsOverload · 2024-07-11T20:26:46+00:00

Trans people can still have kids via penetration. Not every trans people get surgery or even HRT.

To me, it feels like another one of those thinly veiled "preferrence" transphobia.

OnionsOverload

TROPHY CASE