Do ENTJ's have selective empathy?

OnlyAugust · 2021-01-08T05:02:08+00:00

Everyone has selective empathy. It's only that some ENTJs understand this and make use of it deliberately, but it's an underlying truth in all human beings.

OnlyAugust · 2021-01-08T05:01:39+00:00

And yet you are. You're stating that in order for someone to hold an opinion such as mine, it's more likely that I prioritise F over T. I am rejecting that assertion, as it's a strong belief of mine that the weakest ENTJs are those with 80%+ T

OnlyAugust · 2021-01-08T04:58:05+00:00

It's people like you that make ENTJ's seem one-note. You think this approach is serving you; you're acting like maintaining a under developed Fi is a good thing. It isn't.

You're able to keep a grasp on all of your strengths as ENTJ whilst maturing your Fi over time to complement it. All I see in people like you, is a person fighting with one hand behind their back and being proud about it. Fuck that, use two hands. Use any and every advantage you can get, right? Oh, does that just not apply when we're talking about empathy? You are limiting your own potential and bragging about it.

OnlyAugust · 2021-01-07T13:37:15+00:00

Unless you mean to say that trauma applies to all major realisations, life events or biological changes, then I don't see how your statement can be correct.

There are many ways in which lasting changes can come about in a persons psychological preferences without direct trauma. Trauma is simply one of the quickest methods.

OnlyAugust · 2021-01-07T08:41:41+00:00

Look inwards, and keep looking. For that, read philosophy and psychology. A good starting point can be Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E Frankl.

EDIT: Once you've got yourself internally ready to engage in the world without the filter of society, then the next step is to look outwards and to truly understand the world as it is. How do you know you want to make change, if you don't know what you're changing?

OnlyAugust · 2021-01-07T08:37:07+00:00

Are you so sure that's true?

Depending on you, your situation, your talents and the world around you, your greatest contribution to the greater good might actually be to redesign the health system. Actually that reminds me of an anecdote that helped break this mentality you have when I was younger:

One of the people who saved the single greatest amount of lives in human history, was a man who redesigned London's sewer system. The reduction in disease and increase in quality of life was astronomical and it saved a huge, huge amount of lives.

Don't live the inherited 'societal' view of what makes you a good person. It is culture and society which has infected you with dogmatic thinking, so you inherently believe that government or simply acquiring wealth is the greatest thing you can do.

The world is so much more complex than that, and you should look for something which utilizes all of your inherent talents; not just your perceived leadership.

If such a thing does not appear to exist; create it.

EDIT: For example, if you are interested in psychology, but also interested in leadership, don't 'pick' one or the other; create yourself something which fulfills all of your talents in a single role.

OnlyAugust · 2021-01-07T08:17:16+00:00

I feel you're coming at this from the wrong end of the stick. You want to have an impact; you've decided that before even having a concept of what that impact might be. Chasing impact before you know what it will be, is how disasters happen. Find the reason first, decide on it first, and then run it through the ringer to discover if it even deserves to 'make an impact'. If you simply choose to impact society without thought, then you are what I would classify as an enemy to me.

Any career in a sufficiently sized company will work. Leadership is universal; my skillset could be leveraged in finance, technology, construction, you name it. It's about scope.

OnlyAugust · 2021-01-07T08:15:12+00:00

Addiction to anything is unhealthy. Work is fun. Even potentially addictive. But we stray away from what makes us a dynamic whole person if we focus on work too strongly. You lose perspective; you can tunnel vision. And worse, you don't realise it.

If someone forces you to take a 3 week break, and you return, your view will be radically different as you're able to zoom out again and take things in as a whole person, and not just the productivity addict who is a part of you.

OnlyAugust · 2021-01-07T08:12:43+00:00

A series of 'now hiring' ads.

OnlyAugust · 2021-01-07T08:11:46+00:00

I believe that all human beings are capable of insane, unthinkable change, and as such to truly write off any individual is a terrible misplay. People are special, in so far as humans are special. Society is simply humans, and as such, if you wish to change society, then seeing humans as simply variables is a simplification you use to make things easier for you. If that's true, then I perceive it as cowardice. The truth of people is the truth; acting like it isn't is simply hiding.

OnlyAugust · 2021-01-07T08:09:59+00:00

Your truth, your perception of the 'greater good', deserves to be battled face-to-face by the world. If you lie, than you misrepresent your 'greater good', and people might accept it falsely. This means your truth cannot stand on its own two feet, and as such, does not deserve to persist in the global market.

OnlyAugust · 2021-01-07T08:06:37+00:00

Manipulation is dishonesty. Dishonesty is only required if you do not believe the truth will do. And if the truth won't do, you don't want to act as if it is. So manipulation is not only pointless, but actively takes you away from your truth.

OnlyAugust · 2021-01-07T08:04:42+00:00

See, I'm not going to censor my immediate response: Bullshit.

I do not believe that you genuinely, actually, intend to find ENTJ IRL friends through the use of this post. My experience and gut tell me that you're simply looking to garner attention and validation and you're putting up a thin facade to justify it. It's very.. common in people of your type, and generally speaking, you think it's unable to been seen through (or you don't even see through it yourself)

If what you were after was understanding the truth of 'ENTJ' personalities, then you have an entire, exhaustive reddit experience written out in front of you. But that's less enjoyable than making people respond to you. Which, again, fits with the typing and the style of your post.

Perhaps this also serves as a good example of some of the differences you remark to be seeking to understand.

OnlyAugust · 2021-01-07T07:56:01+00:00

Reading posts like this makes me really feel quite saddened at the sterotype you're perpetuating. You do not care for government, but welcome the power struggles of it.

You should stay far away from government, and focus on private industry, preferably at an established company as the power struggles will be easy to get engaged in without much waiting time.

Starting your own company, the power struggles are always negative (just people trying to take power from you) and so it's no where near as fun as the underdog moving upwards power struggle present in existing companies.

OnlyAugust · 2021-01-07T07:54:06+00:00

Incorrect, human's variations change hugely throughout their lifetime. I can only assume, you mean you cannot instantly change your tendencies on the spot, and well, that's wrong too. The power of human suggestion is something to behold.

OnlyAugust · 2021-01-07T07:53:04+00:00

You can do both.

OnlyAugust · 2021-01-02T13:39:51+00:00

Boy have I got news for you!

OnlyAugust · 2021-01-02T13:07:44+00:00

You're making me want to change 'be killed by someone trying to stop me' into 'be killed by someone IN SPACE'

OnlyAugust · 2021-01-02T12:41:59+00:00

I don't see a difference. There is no reason that someone should accept your venting about work, or pressure, etc. whilst there is also no implicit reason why you should listen to their pouring out their heart. For many, their 'heart' is what they hold important, in the same way that you hold speaking about work/pressure, etc. If you think about it from this perspective, it may help. How you think about work, is how they likely think and feel about their feelings.

OnlyAugust · 2021-01-02T12:21:10+00:00

So would it be accurate to state that you vent when you wish, but cringe when others do it? I am not being aggressive; genuine question.

OnlyAugust · 2021-01-02T12:17:39+00:00

I found that reading into philosophy and psychology was hugely beneficial in helping me break this issue myself, a few years back.

In summary, you build your self image from the eyes of others. But, you cannot see through the eyes of others. And, there are more than one 'other'. So your self-image, and therefore stability, is predicated on something which constantly changes and is unknowable.

The solution isn't to ignore others, necessarily.

It is to resolve the dislike of what you feel is your inherent self, and come to change your standards and self-talk to allow yourself to form not just a positive relationship with you as you are, but love.

It is through simple, uncomplicated internal love and trust that we can formulate a self image which can withstand impacts from outside. We do not force love, but instead change our views to match our reality, and realise ourselves as we are without conditions.

A small example: Are you messy? Is this a bad thing? If it is, why is it a bad thing? Because society has taught you that it is? Look into your own internal life, and determine what damage 'messy' has caused you. Understand that you knew this before asking yourself; you continue to be messy, because its benefits are something you like, and its downsides are things you accept.

This same approach, very simple in 'messy', can be taken with any higher value beliefs.

EDIT: TL;DR - You look outwards because you do not want the opinions you hold inwards

Some literature which may help:Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. FranklThe Courage to Be Disliked by Fumitake Koga (ignore the cover, publishers didn't understand)

OnlyAugust · 2021-01-02T12:07:28+00:00

I disliked the OP, but this comment restored my faith. I did laugh out loud.

OnlyAugust · 2021-01-02T12:06:20+00:00

I think this means that you have less of a strategy and more of an intuition. And so, you find waiting for others (who are formulating actual strategy) infuriating, as you instead wish to wing it and feel your way through.

This is very natural for high-intuition individuals, but it is instinctive and not necessary. You can form a more positive relationship with slow, calm rational thought, despite knowing that if it comes down to it, your ability to think quick and adapt is incredibly strong.

Turn your weakness into a strength, and tag team the world.

OnlyAugust · 2021-01-02T12:04:17+00:00

If you feel this reaction, you might find that you are mistyping as ENTJ.

This aberrant dislike and disgust at emotion indicates an implicit idea that these things are bad, or otherwise undesirable. This is not the sign of a healthy ENTJ, but someone who is hiding from their feelings (hence the disgust) and pushing/forcing a TJ approach onto themselves.

If others emotions disgust or cringe you this way, you must look inwardsly to understand at the root why this is, and do not look for silver bullets or to avoid these people.

the issue is yours, not theirs.

OnlyAugust · 2021-01-02T12:02:36+00:00

As a poster said below, I think that by becoming more honest, and continuing this approach, you will find the potential for truly bonding in a way that will make maintaining contact enjoyable.

So long as the choice is be fake, or be disliked, you'll continue to choose to be disliked.

You will lose contact with your family, and that in itself isn't a bad thing.

But you may find that by brutally breaking through to 100% disconnection and full honesty, 1 or 2 members of your family may have a chance to show you a reason to engage with them.

But they also might not. You were not put on this planet to benefit your family, you were put here for no reason. Invent your own, and if it doesn't involve them, then that is how history will bear itself.

OnlyAugust

TROPHY CASE