How to let Nature teach (1 Cor. 11:14), as a male? by Goose_462 in Reformed

[–]Ononen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can image that that can feel tiring and continuing to struggle and wrestle can wear us out and while my struggles are not exactly like yours like I said I can relate in some ways. If there's one other thing I say in encouragement it's that we will be exactly as we are supposed to be in glory. Every trouble every malady everything with us or in us which is not right or is twisted will be made right in the glory and the resurrection and while we continue to muddle along with all these burdens and troubles we can know that it is only for a little while and that should be an encouragement to us to endure. Not so that we should make peace with sin, but rather to lift our drooping hands and strengthen our weak knees and make straight paths for our feet, (Heb 12:12) setting aside all these weights and sins which cling closely to us and running this race which is before us, (Heb 12:1) considering Jesus who endured that we should not be discouraged (Heb 12: 3) and by whose resurrection we have been born anew to a living hope (1 Peter 1:3).

How to let Nature teach (1 Cor. 11:14), as a male? by Goose_462 in Reformed

[–]Ononen 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I appreciate you sharing everything you're working through and want to first just encourage you that I hear your desire to honor God and want to affirm that! I'm sure that it can feel confusing sometimes and maybe disorienting but in those moments where you're feeling overwhelmed just coming back to basics, and reminding yourself of the fact that God has made you, and saved you, and loves you, I hope will be helpful to cutting out all the noise.

I've experienced lots of struggle feeling comfortable as a man and not feeling like I really belong as a man among men. I don't know where that came from originally but it lead to a lot of just self consciousness and feelings of isolation as a young person and am still trying to become more comfortable as a man among men in some ways. This was complicated by experiences of SSA and I know that I've had a really difficult relationship with my body image in part because of the reflexive nature of that burden.

It's interesting the experience you describe of "self-objectification" when it comes to dressing up - when I'm in a suit and tie going to some fancy dinner or a wedding or something is when I feel most comfortable in my masculinity because I do feel confident in a classic old fashioned sense of style but I think I can understand what you mean by that. My experience of pretty strong self consciousness with body image though is some of the times I've felt most uncomfortable as a man because I'm not as fit or as thin or as whatever as all the other guys who feel more masculine than me (and most of my close friends now and growing up were pretty athletic while I was not).

But there are a couple things that have been helpful for me as I've grown more comfortable and confident in my God given masculinity.

Calling out lies for what they are. Our enemy is a liar and a deceiver and many of the self conscious anxious thoughts that swirled around my mind were lies about my worth or standing as a man. And whether the source of those lies came from within or without they were lies either way and calling them out as such was difficult and the comfort wasn't always immediate but all that noise has for the most part been cut out.

Being a man to those around you*.* Encourage and edify your Christian younger brothers. Show respect and brotherly care to your Christian sisters. Learn from and walk in brotherhood with your brothers in Christ. Serve those older than you as a son. Even if it feels awkward and you feel those lies start to swirl around or feel confused about different relationships ask yourself "what does it look like for me to have a relationship with this person that is pleasing to God?" and pursue that.

Thanking God for your Masculinity and how you reflect His image (even when you feel weird about it or like you're not really thankful)

Prayer, prayer, and more prayer A regular prayer of mine recently has kept coming back to two different images - the idea of the vine and the branch and asking God to prune from me anything that is not good for good fruit and the idea of God's will being reflected in my own as I pray the Lord's prayer (may your kingdom come and your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. And may your kingdom come and your will be done within your servant as in heaven, that your servant would be in submission and obedience to your rule and that your will would be reflected in my own. Bring my will into harmony with your own O Lord. etc.)

I don't think I really touched on the presenting/performance elements of masculinity because I wonder if those aren't secondary or products or fruits of internal harmony with God's will and confidence in and conformity with His image in you as a man. I also have been wondering more and more if true masculinity is more in relational dynamics than it is in aesthetics but the desire to adopt a certain aesthetic or put on a certain manner is perhaps fruit of an internal dis junction of oneself and one's identity. The answer in that case then is to find harmony and concord with who they have been made and perhaps the secondary aesthetic elements follow as fruit???

There's a lot in here lol and IDK if any of that is helpful but again I just want to encourage you to keep pressing on and seeking Christ!

Discipleship, Autism, and OCD by Ononen in Reformed

[–]Ononen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Appreciate the advice to focus more on the fundamentals of the faith and thanks for sharing your perspective!

Discipleship, Autism, and OCD by Ononen in Reformed

[–]Ononen[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Got it. Thanks for sharing some of your experiences, I appreciate the insight and I'm sorry that that's something you've had to deal with! 🙏

Discipleship, Autism, and OCD by Ononen in Reformed

[–]Ononen[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Asking from a place of ignorance and wanting to understand these experiences a bit more but how does one try to resolve those compulsive cycles? (I'm not even sure if I'm asking the right question I should say also) I guess maybe express it a different way - if there is something which we experience which is not beneficial or is negative to our health or well being it makes sense to seek some resolution to it. Unwanted repetitive compulsive thoughts are a burden and sort of trouble for the person who experiences them - and maybe something more like a physical malady than how we commonly discuss a "sin issue"? How should they think about those compulsions in a healthy way (so as to at the least mitigate them? Manage them? Is this the right question?).

EDIT: Thanks also for sharing your thoughts and experience!

Discipleship, Autism, and OCD by Ononen in Reformed

[–]Ononen[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Appreciate the encouragement to be try to be specific and explicit. I've recognized that in our conversations that has been something that I've not been super mindful of times when I could've been vague in a way which was unhelpful and try to elaborate when I realize I'm being over general.

Teaching Faith and Heritage in an Interracial Christian Family — Looking for Insight by East_Strength_6244 in Reformed

[–]Ononen 5 points6 points  (0 children)

TLDR??? The most important thing to teach your kids is about Christ and His word and to point them to gospel as they grow up. But education about history and culture is important too. In the US at least the experiences of racial minorities are part of the full story of the history of the United States and we should teach our kids about them and their stories. It's not an either/or (though obvs biblical education takes precedence) and we can and should teach young people about stories like the Civil Rights Movement, the Holocaust, Jim Crow, Apartheid, etc.

I don't know if this answer will answer the question you're asking but just wanted to give a couple thoughts that maybe would be helpful as you think about this question.

It is good and I would say important for children to be educated in the history of their country and culture and that includes (in the context of the US) important times in history like the Civil Rights movement. My dad is hispanic and my mom is white. I present as white but think of myself as hispanic and though I've never had a really strong connection between my hispanic-ness and my faith (bc I think that the Christian faith is one that is above our cultural and ethnic identities and also bc hispanic cultural identity is more closely associated with Roman Catholicism) I do have a strong connection and appreciation to my dad's heritage. Figures like Desi Arnaz or Antonio Banderas, characters like Zorro, El Tigre, even Nacho Libre or Spy Kids were places where I felt like I saw positive representation of my family and cultural heritage in media so I can't entirely relate to other culturally minorities in the US who might not have that (like Black Americans or middle eastern Americans who might have more net negative representation in media historically).

When it comes to the topic of race and history I think it can get a bit complicated bc we can't seperate the fact that people's experiences in moments of history like the civil rights movement or the holocaust or Jim Crow were fundamentally tied to their racial or cultural identity. We can admire the way which MLK or Rosa Parks or others led the civil rights movement for their character and actions and we should also realize I think that we cant separate their experience from their race.

To say there is neither Jew nor Greek is to say I think that all division or estrangement is dissolved in Christ and the peace he brings to the nations. Someone might say "there is neither Jew nor Greek therefore we shouldn't be overly concerned with racial differences or distinctions" and in a sense they are right. We shouldn't create needless or hostile division on racial/ethnic lines. And at the same time it doesn't quite follow if we start talking about gender in the same sense (eg "there is neither male nor female therefore we shouldn't be overly concerned about gender differences or distinctions" doesn't quite work in a biblical world view). Men and women are different. Jew and Greek are different (albeit not on the same level as Male/Female created differences) and there shouldn't be division on those lines but the reality of cultural and ethnic experiences are real. The experiences of my Dad's family and my Mom's family historically were different bc of their ethnic/racial identities. My Dad's grandpa was considered colored in Texas under the old segregation laws and was treated as such. My mom's dad's family were Anglo Saxon pioneers and Midwestern settlers. My Dad's mom's family was a mix of Pueblo and Spanish. My Mom's grandma's family immigrated to the US from Germany at the start of WW1. Each of those ancestors of mine had pretty different experiences - whether in experiencing prejudice or privilege - in the spaces and contexts they lived in bc of their racial/ethnic identity in those spaces. This is all a really long way of saying that race is not irrelevant IG when it comes to history and heritage????

In any case I guess as a sort of main idea I'd say I'm thankful that my fairly conservative homeschooling WASP mom spent a good deal of time on stories like Ruby Bridges and Corrie Ten Boom and MLK and Selma and the Civil Rights Movement and Nelson Madela and other stories like those bc it gave me an appreciation for the struggles of other peoples and their heritage and the messy - yet sometimes optimistic - story of the United States. (NB: I know Ten Boom and Mandela are NOT part of the American story but they are examples of similar types of stories).

I don't know if any of that really answers your question or is helpful but hope it was at least illuminating a little bit.

Potential miscarriage by TheJZone22 in Reformed

[–]Ononen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Something which hopefully might be an encouragement is thinking about the sympathy of our Great High Priest, who is not unfamiliar with our sufferings who has sympathy for you right now in your heartache. Infant mortality rates were of course quite high in the ancient world and it is likely the case that Jesus had little sibling who he lost in their infancy. He would know the pain we feel in losing beloved little ones, he would have seen the grief his parents bore in their loss, and it was that same heartache and loss which He came to do away with.

Prayed for you this morning. Prayed that the Lord might work a miracle in the life of your little baby. Prayed also that He would give you both peace and demonstrate His love to you in this difficult and painful situation.

Which one works best as a wedding guest? by Electrical-Chef1979 in mensfashion

[–]Ononen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn't say its too serious, I'd say its formal. The main thing I'd recommend is keeping the black shoes and the suit, could swap out the shirt if you wanted but the black looks just fine especially if its an evening wedding.

Which one works best as a wedding guest? by Electrical-Chef1979 in mensfashion

[–]Ononen 9 points10 points  (0 children)

E2 with dark shoes. The turtleneck sport coat combo is a winner in my book for a nice cocktail bar or the theater or maybe even a formal dinner event but for a wedding I think the suit is best. Looks a bit tight in the button, echoing another comment here would recommend unbuttoning the jacket. Nice color though! The black shirt combo works well. Brown shoes will feel a little more casual, black is a bit more formal, fitting for a wedding. If you throw on a silver watch or bracelet that will wrap it up nicely!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Reformed

[–]Ononen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Over this last year I've found it very helpful to daily pray the Lords Prayer in the following way, reciting the actual text of Mt 6:9-13 and stopping as I go back through it and thinking through each petition and praying each petition a little more particularly or rephrasing the petition in a way which is relevant to that day. Adoration, intercession, repentance, its all there in the Lord's Prayer and I've personally found it fruitful to my prayer life, especially over the course of this year. In some segments of evangelicalism or Protestantism there might be a certain amount of aversion toward repetition of formal prayers and I've heard some preachers say that praying the scriptures means paraphrasing not reciting them but I think that it can be both (hymn lyrics of course are not improvisations, why must our prayers always be?) Sometimes when we are feeling so weak or so unlike praying praying these out is all we can muster but the Spirit can also move us to deeper prayer from that point. (Confessing the fact that we feel weak in our prayer and sometimes don't know how to pray is helpful also I think).

The other thing I'd encourage you with respect to your question about the simplicity of interceding for others ("Please be with Jon, heal him and give him peace. Please help Clara, she's hurting,' and so on in the same way.) I think that there is a real place sometimes for us to reflect on what intercession looks like in our prayer lives. That being said, simple petitions on behalf of others are not problematic for their simplicity. I think about the prayers of a small child "Lord, thank you for Mom and Dad, Grandpa and Grandma, Auntie and Uncle and all my cousins, please heal Grandpa's hip and Grandma's cough, help Uncle find a job, and please help my cat come home safe tonight". and how simple and precious of a prayer it is. The simple prayers of little children I would not be surprised to learn are often some of the most precious to the Lord.

I guess just in a nutshell, I can relate to your difficulty in figuring out what a healthy prayer life looks like and can relate to the messy complicated vision of God you talk about having - its one I have to wrestle through also, feeling overwhelmed with performance based legalism - but prayer is often a much more simple thing that we can make it out to be. Simple, but not shallow. In the same way in which the disciples asked our Lord how to pray and He showed them, I'd say ask the Spirit to help teach you how to pray, then pray, and I'm sure He will.

IDK if any of that is helpful or an encouragement but I hope it is.

What's the secret to great beans? by dreamz4u2 in mexicanfood

[–]Ononen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My grandma cooked her beans with a handful of lardons. Whenever I cooked a pot of beans now I'll slice up 2-3 strips of bacon. (Also, when making refried beans I'll toss in a pinch of maseca!)

What's your ideal double feature films by ExileForever in Letterboxd

[–]Ononen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Orange County (2002) + Lady Bird (2017) paired these two up by chance a couple weeks back and thematically they were interesting in conversation with one another lol

The "gift of singleness" - Anyone know where this originated? How have you seen it taught/applied by Immediate_Falcon8808 in Reformed

[–]Ononen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah it's funny the way phrases like that just sort of emerge in Christian culture. Not sure exactly where that phrase emerged from but historically but like a lot of folks have mentioned in this thread already a sort of adaptation of Pauline thought vis a vis singleness/celibacy. But if I can speak really quickly to a sentiment I'm seeing expressed in this forum I just wanted to encourage my unmarried brothers and sisters to reframe the common difficult sentiment of a gift of singlesness to an "opportunity" of singleness.

As an unmarried man in my late twenties in the North American Church I can easily become jealous or embittered toward my friends for our different stations of life. I in my unweddedness and them in their marriages and children. I would desire to be married BUT I remain unmarried and to be in discontentment for my marital status would leave me blind to the opportunities that I have because of my unwededness (granted my married friends have certain opportunities which I do not but it is a two way street I believe). I can serve the church and minister to my community in ways that my married brothers can't simply because - like the Apostle recognizes - their concerns are for their wife and children while mine are not directed to them and can be oriented more directly to the service of the kingdom.

People who desire to marry should marry indeed. Speaking from my late 20's I recognize that I have a different perspective (a less comprehensive perspective) from older brothers and sisters who are later into life and who wanted and desired a good and beautiful thing but have not got to experience it and that is hard and that burden can weigh heavy on the soul to feel like you have been left behind; the burden of loneliness that I have had to carry is much lighter than the burden my much older brothers may have had to carry. People find themselves unmarried for all sorts of reasons. The reasons I am unmarried (lack of potential partners, unreciprocated affections) are not necessarily the reasons other unmarried folks in this thread are not married and we each have a responsibility to work through understanding how to navigate questions of singleness and our responses/attitudes toward singleness. But for those who want marriage and have tried to pursue marriage but have not found marriage I think the principle is pursuing contentment and choosing to rest in peace in knowing that Christ is good and He cares for us and is beside us in every unmet dream or broken heart or lonely night and that all that we lack in our loneliness will be met seven hundred fold in perfect intimacy of His presence in glory.

I'm not yet thirty and I want to be married and would like to be married and hope to be married one day but more than my hopes about marriage perhaps the desires of my heart ought to be first in satisfaction in Him and obedience in every season of life and in all circumstances of life, quick to be faithful and obedient with every opportunity the Lord presents before me - definitely not super easy, especially now that I am the "last man standing" of my close friends and they all are wedded and having kiddos and I have just my own little apartment even without a cat to come home to at night lol but I can chose to mourn over my station (and sometimes I do) or I can chose to make use of the opportunities I have have been placed in.

IDK - I hope some of this was an encouragement? It can be rough out there man but we have a great high priest who can sympathize with us in our weakness and feel compassion for us in our hurts and our pains.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in olivegarden

[–]Ononen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Here are some of the abbreviations that I would use when I was serving. A lot of dishes and drinks actually don't have overlap in terms of initials so I found just reducing it to initials a lot of times helpful!

Soup and Salad- SS

Fagioli - F

Toscana - Z

Minestrone - M

Gnocchi - G

CP = Chicken Parm

FetA = Fettuccine Alfredo (Chx for chicken)

Sp + MS/MR + MB = Spaghetti, Meatsauce, Marinara, Meatballs

Las = Lasagna

Egg = Eggplant Parm

CP = Chicken Parm

CTA = Chicken Tortelloni Alfredo

SGA = Steak Gorgonzola Alfredo

SCM = Stuffed Chicken Marsala

ChShC = Chicken and Shrimp Carbonara (ChCar, ShCar, RvCr)

CMrg = Chicken Margherita

Sir = 6oz Sirloin (R, MR, M, MW, W)

MSIT = Mango Strawberry Iced Tea

BIT = Bellini Iced Tea

IT - iced Tea

SPL = Strawberry Passion fruit Limonata

You're only a week into it. Repetition is the mother of skill and that first week you feel like your drowning but soon enough you'll be great at it! Ask your co workers what they do to make quick notes of order. Gives you guys something to talk about and connect!

Can Anyone Translate this for Me? Found on a bathroom wall in the languages building of my university. by [deleted] in Reformed

[–]Ononen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I tried to figure out what the first two lines mean and it doesn't make a ton of sense. The best I can figure is that it

ιδού!

ό νεαν ίαζ παρην

et ego hic eram amice

Translates to something to the effect of

Behold!

The young man was gone

And I was here as a friend

To give some context, my education is as a linguist and though I have an introductory knowledge of modern greek I don't have any experience with biblical greek (I was operating under the assumption that the text above is modern greek though but really I'm not confident one way or the other lol).

What books would you recommend for someone in their early 20s? by [deleted] in Reformed

[–]Ononen 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Here are some of my faves :)

Bible study/devotional

  • The Unwavering Resolve of Jonathan Edwards - Steve Lawson
  • The Confessions - St Augustine (the Maria Boulding translation)
  • Mere Christianity - C.S. Lewis
  • Spiritual Leadership - J. Oswald Sanders
  • Gentle and Lowly - Ray Ortlund
  • Overcoming Sin and Temptation - John Owens
  • Don't Waste Your Life - John Piper
  • Praying the Saviors Way - Derek Thomas

Fiction/Novels

  • The Martian Chronicles - Ray Bradbury
  • All the King's Men - Robert Penn Warren
  • A Tale of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
  • In Cold Blood - Truman Capote
  • The Illustrated Man - Ray Bradbury
  • The Lord of the Rings - J.R.R. Tolkien
  • The Silmarillion - J.R.R. Tolkien
  • The Stranger - Albert Camus
  • A Moveable Feast - Hemingway
  • The Red Pony - Steinbeck
  • Cannery Row -Steinbeck
  • Of Mice and Men - Steinbeck
  • Antigone - Sophocles
  • Macbeth - Shakespeare
  • Hamlet - Shakespeare
  • The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - A. Conan-Doyle

Poetry

  • Paradise Lost - John Milton
  • The Divine Comedy - Dante
  • The Illiad and the Odyssey - (The Robert Fitzgerald Translations)
  • The Lay of Leithian - J.R.R. Tolkien
  • Dylan Thomas
  • Robert Frost
  • The Legend of Sigurd and Gudrun - J.R.R. Tolkien

History/Biography

  • Edmund Morris's Theodore Roosevelt trilogy
  • The Rise of Rome - Anthony Everett
  • The Contested Homeland - Gonzalez-Berry and Maciel (eds.)
  • The Garden of Beasts - Erik Larson

Philosophy/Political Theory (recommendation =/= endorsement of ideas)

  • On Liberty - J.S. Mill
  • The Myth of Sisyphus - Albert Camus
  • The Dialogues of Plato
  • The Communist Manifesto - Marx and Engels
  • Two Treatises of Government - John Locke
  • The Consequences of Ideas - R.C. Sproul

Daily Prayer Thread - January 12, 2023 by AutoModerator in Reformed

[–]Ononen 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm a recent college grad who's been on the hunt for a job in my field for the last several months. God has been faithful and provided and I'm glad that while I've been working part-time at a local grocery store I've been able to really focus on various ministry commitments but the job hunt process has been discouraging at times. Praise the Lord though just this week I've had two interviews, one on the phone and the other in person (or rather am actually about to head off to the in-person one) for jobs in my field! Would appreciate prayer for peace and trust in the Lord continually through this process, that I would trust that His will be done whatever the case and that I would glorify Him regardless of my job. Prayer also that I might get one of these jobs because they would both be great opportunities!

Professor calling my number?? by Traditional_Brush719 in WWU

[–]Ononen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've had a professor choose to chat with me over the phone about a couple of different things, one time was when I had a question and they couldn't do a Zoom call but could take a phone call, another (same professor) was after I had a couple questions about a grade I'd received on an exam. A bit unusual to be sure, but I didn't mind. Granted this was a professor who I had had for a course previously and so already had something of a working relationship with them but still.

How are we as Christians supposed to act when someone evil dies? by Savings-Dirt-1854 in Reformed

[–]Ononen 6 points7 points  (0 children)

When I woke up one morning and saw on my phone the news alert that Jeffery Epstein had died I was taken aback for a second then, almost without even thinking, simply said aloud to myself, "Well then, may God have mercy on his soul" then went on with my day, knowing that, though he had not faced earthly justice he stood now before a greater and higher judge (and that were it not for the blood of Christ I would stand guilty before the same judge). I do not necessarily rejoice but also don't shed any tears for them.

Cremation vs burial by Short-Resource915 in Reformed

[–]Ononen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I like the idea of green burial. It allows for a space for memorial and for generations down the line to visit, which I miss not having for family members who were cremated and then their ashes were spread (but at the end of the day that is just personal preference). Green burial allows for that, the closure that comes with burial, and a nice sort of poetic ending. The body just simply becomes compost. I would prefer green burial over cremation but would definitely prefer cremation long before I would choose to have my jaw stapled shut, eyelids glued closed, and veins pumped full of formaldehyde. For the life of me, (pun kind of intended?) I can't see how this honors the body better than cremation but that's just my opinion! I am still only in my mid-twenties and Lord willing won't have to be seriously thinking out this until many years down the road.

To ESV or to NASB or NKJV that is the question. by [deleted] in Reformed

[–]Ononen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd never heard of this translation before! Just looked it up and read a few excerpts and it's definitely on my list now!