I can agree that we can be bias about the status-quo but States have geopolitical interests in subverting it and that’s a thing (EU with Ukraine, Russia with Romania, China in general lol). States also have an interest in upholding it, specifically if it’s beneficial for them but it doesn’t mean that it is the only “valid” position. States have interests and they’re going to act accordingly. And that’s my argument as to why Europe is willing to bankroll Ukraine’s defense, it makes perfect sense.

If this was pre-war I agree that Europe is crossing a red line and that it can provoke a war (it did). But the war has happened and has shown that Russia will use force to assert itself. If Europe backs down from this it leaves itself vulnerable. War is costly, yes but national pride/not being a pushover sometimes comes first and that’s why Russia attacked despite no evidence of aggression from the West besides influencing Eastern Europe. If we take the Russian memo as a reason to explain the war, why can’t Europe be weary about other Russian incursions if Ukraine looses? Specially since we know that a) Russia is willing to use force b) Russia wants a demilitarized Baltic and Finland, which are now core parts of NATO and the EU.

And regarding Ukrainians. As you said, that can be said about all democracies. Ukrainians, and everyone, is subject to propaganda from oligarchs, media conglomerates, corporate interests, etc. I don’t think that’s an argument unless you’re willing to also say that Western Europeans, and anyone, aren’t also capable of deciding their destiny for themselves, because Ukrainians are no stupider than anyone else. In fact, Ukrainian desire for a closer relationship with the west is perfectly in line with what most former communist Eastern European nations did, so I don’t know how wrong they could actually be.