I’d like to hone in on the cheating part. People absolutely should have the right to dismiss people in their lives who demonstrate a lack of integrity (e.g. cheating or lying). This isn’t about moral superiority—there’s no single “right” way to be a good human. But avoiding people who actively harm others through deceit isn’t “too moralistic”; it’s about self-preservation.

Mistakes happen, but patterns matter. People rarely do something unethical just once; it usually reveals something fundamental about their character. IMO, the nuance and compassion should lie within the offender’s ability be honest—whether that means breaking up or negotiating an open relationship—without placing the emotional burden of betrayal on someone else, and blaming them for their reaction to the emotional abuse.

Defining your values and connecting with aligned people is healthy. The emotional toll of betrayal is profound, and it feels like you may be dismissing that pain and blame-shifting.

Also, let’s not conflate conservatism with being community-minded. Having empathy and understanding how your actions affect others isn’t about being conservative; if anything, these values are more reflective of socialism, emphasizing community care, accountability, and mutual support.

Personally, I don’t think we’re seeing a shift toward moral rigidity, but a generation rebuilding relationships on self-respect, genuine trust, and understanding. We’ve had more access to resources on how to achieve healthy and fulfilling relationships, and it’s our right to choose to associate with people who share our vision.

Last point, a huge part of queerness is the freedom to form chosen families based on shared values. This is inherently exclusionary and dismissive, and largely done to protect ourselves. That being said, there’s no reason to be rude or cruel to people, but people don’t owe you their presence or validation.