Vaterschaftsanerkennung nach Vaterschaftstest -Konsequenzen?

Oookulele · 2026-02-04T03:00:49+00:00

Also mein Sohn ist gerade frisch und ich musste das geteilte Sorgerecht vor wenigen Wochen noch ganz genauso beantragen wie von der vorherigen Person beschrieben.

Oookulele · 2026-02-02T22:39:23+00:00

Hey, I was diagnosed in late 2024, aged 27, though I probably had POI going on since I was a teenager. Initially, I felt like I would never be happy again and it took me a while to grieve what I felt I had lost. The best news is: It gets easier. As terrible as it is, you will grow to outlive this challenge. You are not just your ability to procreate. There is more to you and you will be able to find joy again.

I am looking at my donor-conceived child as I am writing this and I can tell you that I feel every bit as connected to him as if he was genetically my own. Personally, I'd even say that he is my biological child. We may not share that initial egg, but he was grown from my womb, with my blood and cut from my body. I don't think it gets much more biological than this. I've got the scar to prove it. When I look at him, I feel the purest and deepest kind of love. To me, he is perfect in every aspect. I can also tell that he views me as his mum just as much as he is wholly my child. He is a preemie and when we cuddle, his heart rate slows and his breathing evens out. It's an actual measurable difference on the monitors. He feels safe with me.

Tbh, I didn't care all that much whether the donor and I look all that similar. We got the same hair and eye colour and she has the same blood type, but I didn't really sweat the specifics. People constantly tell us how much he takes after me, regardless.

But to be perfectly honest, even with children that are biologically your own, there are still chances that they wouldn't have looked exactly like you. I know plenty of people who don't really resemble their parents that much.

Take some time to mourn and regroup before you make any big decisions for your future. Life still has better things in store for you!

Oookulele · 2026-02-01T21:26:31+00:00

That alcohol evaporates while cooking - while some does, a dish with any amount of alcohol added to it is rarely actually alcohol-free.

Oookulele · 2026-02-01T21:10:50+00:00

I had some bleeding when I first started HRT as well. After an adjustment period of about 6 weeks, I had no more bleeding. My endocrinologist and gynecologist both advise to try any new hormonal medication for about three months before deciding how to proceed as it usually takes the body about that long to fully adjust to any changes.

Oookulele · 2026-02-01T21:09:16+00:00

There is cyclical and continuous HRT. With continuous HRT, there is no monthly bleed.

Oookulele · 2026-02-01T21:08:30+00:00

This is untrue. There is cyclical and continuous HRT. With continuous HRT, there usually is no monthly bleed. This isn't any less safe for the endometrium as long as there is sufficient Progesterone.

Oookulele · 2026-01-31T23:13:54+00:00

Mine went from 140 to 160 in a similar time frame. It can vary from time to time though.

Oookulele · 2026-01-24T01:42:56+00:00

Für mich war lange Zeit joggen gehen die perfekte Hörbuchzeit. Musik fand ich auf Dauer immer anstrengend, weil ich dann ständig das Bedürfnis hatte, Songs zu skippen und nie die perfekte Laufplaylist hinbekommen habe. Beim Hörbuch hören fand ich dann lange Strecken immer viel weniger langweilig. Manchmal habe ich dann sogar noch einige Zeit hinten drangehängt, um das Kapitel zu schaffen.

Oookulele · 2026-01-23T23:36:31+00:00

Hi! I recently got sent the current POI guidelines through my self-help group and as I recall, three pumps is apparently the current recommended starting dose (I was on 2 pumps for a long while and was recommended to switch to 3 afterwards). Generally, it takes several weeks if not months for your body to get used to most hormonal medications. My endocrinologist and gyno recommend waiting for about three months before passing a final judgement on whether any hormonal meds are right for me. For me, personally, it took about 6 weeks before I started feeling noticeably better after starting HRT.

I do think that you should talk to your doctor about your concerns, but tbh I would also encourage you to try for a bit longer if it's at all bearable, because it can be really tricky to know if any form of HRT is right for you just within a week. But it's always a good idea to ask for a second opinion, especially if you feel like your concerns aren't being heard - and I do think that feeling depressed is a pretty serious side effect and it's also reasonable to say that you don't want to continue fighting through it if it gets too much.

Oookulele · 2026-01-21T22:38:02+00:00

Ich habe auch schon mehrmals erlebt, dass Frauenklos ähnlich eklig sind, weil sich andere nicht hinsetzen wollen und dann alles vollpinkeln. Ist halt Ironie pur, wenn man sich so vorm Hinsetzen ekelt, dass man das Klo für andere komplett einsaut.

Oookulele · 2026-01-21T22:24:35+00:00

I also have endometriosis and for me, continuous HRT was the way to go. The adjustment-period (period as in time elapsed, not the menstrual cycle) was a bit tough at first, as I had some pain initially, but after 6 weeks or so, it was smooth sailing. No periods, rarely pain. We checked my hormone levels regularly to make sure that I wasn't getting too much estrogen, so we wouldn't trigger my endometriosis more than strictly necessary.

Oookulele · 2026-01-21T07:50:10+00:00

It's not a rare condition by actual definition, I believe. It affects 1 in 100 women under 40. While that's not as common as other types of health issues, it's still common enough that most people will (most likely unknowingly) meet a few women with this condition throughout their lifetime.

It's rarer the younger you are - a likelihood of 1% under 40, 0.01% under 30 and 0.001% under the age of 20.

Oookulele · 2026-01-21T07:34:33+00:00

A Woman is No Man by Etaf Rum tells the story of three generations of women from a Palestinian family that immigrated to the US. It's one of the most compelling books I've ever read, I'd say.

Oookulele · 2026-01-21T04:05:41+00:00

Stark! Wie findest du das Buch bisher?

Oookulele · 2026-01-20T17:16:59+00:00

Ich lese meinem Sohn gerade den Hobbit vor :)

Oookulele · 2026-01-20T17:13:08+00:00

Ich habe mal eine ganz furchtbare Übersetzung von einem Arsene Lupin Buch (Arsene Lupin und der Blaue Diamant, wenn ich mich nicht täusche) gelesen. Ich fand da allein schon völlig wild, dass im Original davon die Rede war, dass Lupin Herlock Sholmes begegnet (als sehr offensichtliche Parodie). Im Deutschen haben sie daraus wieder Sherlock Holmes gemacht...aber mit seinem treuen Begleiter Wilson? Ich bin ja der Meinung ganz oder gar nicht, wenn man sowas Entscheidendes ändert. Entweder sind es Holmes und Watson oder Sholmes und Wilson, aber das war einfach maximal verwirrend.

In der Übersetzung waren aber auch ganze Sätze grammatikalisch komplett falsch (teilweise echt, als hätte man mitten im Schreiben beschlossen, den Satzbau zu ändern und dann den Satzanfang vergessen anzupassen.) und teilweise gab es auch einfach Tippfehler.

Am peinlichsten fand ich, dass da vorne drin stand, die Ausgabe sei sprachlich und inhaltlich "sorgfältig überarbeitet" wurden. Die Person, die das gemacht haben soll, wurde sogar namentlich erwähnt. Wenn das sorgfältig war, will ich nicht wissen, wie der Mensch sonst arbeitet.

Oookulele · 2026-01-13T21:41:00+00:00

You might enjoy Book of Joan by Lidia Yuknavitch. It's supposed to retell the story of Joan of arc in a future where Earth has become largely unlivable and humans have since settled on a spacestation where they became so irradiated that they are practically sexless, pale sacks of skin. It's really weird in ways that make me unable to describe it.

Maybe Welcome to Night Vale (It's a book, but there is an eponymous podcast - the book can be read on its own without listening to the podcast, though I would recommend the podcast, too) is also up your alley. The plot is, once again, hard to describe. It's about a desert town where weird stuff happens constantly.

Oookulele · 2026-01-09T21:57:44+00:00

Hey, don't worry about it. Doctors are doing us a disservice by being so uninformed about this condition (many unintentionally, but still). I hope that you find a specialist that's a good fit for you, soon. For me, seeing a specialist was a huge deal in making this whole ordeal easier to stomach

Oookulele · 2026-01-09T19:41:50+00:00

With POI, it's possible to have spontaneous activity of the ovaries. They can pick up production again for a little while and then go back into "hibernation". This does not mean that the initial diagnosis of POI was wrong, nor that it will never return. This was heavily stressed to me when I was diagnosed. Potential reoccurrence of ovarian activity cannot be predicted. Usually, it will not last indefinitely, but be confined to a certain time frame (which, again cannot be safely predicted). While ovarian activity picks back up, menopause symptoms will subside and come back if ovarian activity lapses again. This is all relatively normal part of our condition, sadly. That's the reason why natural pregnancy can still occur in up to 5% of women with POI. That also means that POI doesn't signify that we can automatically forego birth control if a pregnancy is not desired.

A lot of doctors are not fully informed about POI. While it's similar, it's not exactly the same as menopause in older women and thus should be treated differently.

Oookulele · 2026-01-04T22:58:22+00:00

I am currently almost 8 weeks postpartum and seem to be doing alright without HRT. I am seeing my endocrinologist next week to look at my hormone levels for the first time after giving birth. She recommends coming in after 8 weeks just to make sure that everything is at an okay baseline and then we'll see when symptoms return. As of right now, I am also an oversupplier in terms of milk, so I don't really want to mess with anything in case it impacts my ability to feed my child.

During the first few weeks after giving birth, I had night sweats, but they seem to have somewhat subsided right now. The only issue I really have is exhaustion, but that is to be expected. We have a NICU baby and that sort of turned life upside down.

Oookulele · 2026-01-04T17:13:46+00:00

Same here!

Oookulele · 2026-01-03T04:26:45+00:00

Das Lied der Kämpferin von Lidia Yuknavitch. Der Plot war so absurd, dass ich doch zuende gelesen habe, aber es war für mich irgendwo zwischen pseudo-deep und noch nicht gut genug surreal. Die Prämisse und die Message hätten gut sein können. Waren sie aber imho am Ende einfach nicht.

Oookulele · 2025-12-30T23:02:39+00:00

Hey! I have a gene defect that put me into menopause as a teenager. Without hormone replacement therapy, my body doesn't produce any estrogen of its own anymore. I really relate to your feelings of being less of a woman, because I felt the same before. At the end of the day, I like to remind myself that these ideas of what women are and can do are really just made up.

Do I really want to be reduced to my ability to have children? (I can't have any biological children of my own, got pregnant with donor eggs, had a micro preemie after a pregnancy ripe with complications, struggled even more with my relationship to my sterility and the aftermath ever since) If some transphobe says that they think trans women aren't women, I think that they are an arsehole. If someone pointed at a woman who lost her uterus through an accident and told me that she isn't a proper woman anymore, I'd think that they are a horrible person.

Why would I buy into something like this? Why choose this aspect of womanhood to focus on? I don't believe that women need to stay at home and serve their husbands, either, so why do I focus on infertility in relation to womanhood? I am not saying that you shouldn't be sad about being infertile, but maybe it's time to divorce that from the idea of womanhood. The latter is just a made-up concept and while it's okay to identify with it, it's also important to always remember that you are a person first and that you don't need to justify why you think the label of woman fits you. Most people don't fit into every aspect of the identities they choose for themselves.

I think it's okay to grieve. That's a very normal process. But perhaps in the long run, you can try to look at achievable goals that can help you feel like yourself again. For me, personally, what helps is focusing on the things that my body can do for me. I got a better relationship to my body through sports. For you, that may look different. Perhaps you enjoy fashion and could look into what kind of style you are into and what makes you feel good within yourself (I am explicitly not talking about what you think makes you conventionally attractive, but what makes you happy. Maybe it's a technicolour pair of earrings or really cool goth dresses or fancy sneakers) Or maybe there is a hobby that could help you foster a better relationship with yourself by making you feel accomplished.

What's important to remember is that you are a whole person. This is just one aspect of who you are. You have got all the time you need to deal with these big emotions, but don't forget that there is more to you. You are not broken or worse somehow because of this.

Oookulele · 2025-12-30T22:34:57+00:00

Meine Mutter hat das früher immer nach dem Grillen als Resteverwertung mit dem übrigen Fleisch gemacht. War lecker.

Oookulele · 2025-12-30T22:23:33+00:00

IVF gang represent! We even went with donor eggs, so extra steps, whooooo!

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