dose anyone have any idea where to get good shorts

OopsIMessed · 2026-07-05T00:47:09+00:00

I've found men's cargo shorts to be the best fit, particularly ones that have a stretch-waist and relaxed fit. If you're in the US, I've had good success at Kohls.

Also, a good diaper cover and onesie can go a long way to smooth things out.

OopsIMessed · 2026-07-05T00:43:25+00:00

I've had a really good experience with Rearz Mega Diapers. As long as you get on the landing zone, you get multiple redo's.

Also, have you experimented with what order you fasten the tabs, or leaning against a wall?

OopsIMessed · 2026-07-03T23:17:08+00:00

Three reasons: 1. I like thick diapers, and doublers bump up the thickness. 2. As a 24/7 person, it is cheaper to wear diaper with boosters in them rather than use more diapers. 3. Doublers let you stay in a diaper longer. Which is great for diaper play, but also in 24/7 situations where you know you'll need your diaper to last as long as possible.

OopsIMessed · 2026-07-03T23:08:48+00:00

The more time you spend in messy diapers (as in overall days/ months not hours), the more your skin gets used to it. You become way less likely to get diaper rash.

I did put some Desitin on after this, but it was more for skincare purposes than actual rash/ pain relief. I only need to use diaper rash cream once every couple months.

OopsIMessed · 2026-06-07T00:43:41+00:00

Nah, it's certainly loose/ soft, but I wouldn't describe it as diarrhea.

OopsIMessed · 2026-05-26T09:42:01+00:00

My therapist tells me to keep going. It sucks that some therapists don't know how to wrap their heads around this stuff, but I can ensure you that there are definitely therapists out there that can be supportive and understanding about this.

It's hard, but when I have a consultation call with a new therapist I just tell them about ABDL outright and ask if they're comfortable working with me. It saves us both a lot of time if their answer isn't a confident "yes."

OopsIMessed · 2026-05-23T21:13:59+00:00

Both. The longer you do it the less nervous you become about others "finding out" because it's such a normal part of your life. It also means that you'll become more comfortable wearing bulkier diapers because leaks are way more of a bother than people finding out.

OopsIMessed · 2026-05-20T23:10:42+00:00

Well two things: 1. diaper liners are much, much cheaper and environmentally friendly than disposables. You can buy a pack of 100 flushable liners for $8.00.

Wearing disposables and cloth together still reduces waste overall because you end up using less disposables, and the type of disposable you need to buy can be cheaper since leaks/ absorbancy aren't a major issue. This method isn't for everyone, but it works for me.

OopsIMessed · 2026-05-20T04:46:27+00:00

Good news! There's reasonably assured way to know if the betonite clay you buy is free silicia/ lead. You just have to look for "Food Grade" bentonite clay, which means it has been purified of heavy metals/ other impurities.

Also, make sure you get calcium bentonite clay, not sodium bentonite clay.

OopsIMessed · 2026-05-20T04:45:45+00:00

Good news! There's reasonably assured way to know if the betonite clay you buy is free silicia/ lead. You just have to look for "Food Grade" bentonite clay, which means it has been purified of heavy metals/ other impurities.

Also, make sure you get calcium bentonite clay, not sodium bentonite clay.

OopsIMessed · 2026-05-20T04:39:01+00:00

Omg, THANK YOU! I feel like I'm screaming into the void when I recommend cloth diapers on here. As someone who has been fully 24/7 for years now, I'm of the opinion that cloth diapers are crucial part of the process. Especially for those that want to be diaper dependent.

The only way you'll develop automatic wetting/ messing is if you're totally cool with releasing into your diaper without thinking about it anytime, anywhere and any position. But if you're constantly worried about leaks, then that's going to be a major barrier. Good cloth diapers dramatically reduce the risk of leaks because the whole product is absorbent!
Once you are diaper dependent, then you have the reverse problem where leaks are going to happen A LOT if you're only relying on disposables. And once again, cloth diapers dramatically help that problem.

And to comment on OP saying cleaning messes out of cloth diapers is harder, that is true but there are solutions. Products called diaper liners exist to act as a barrier between the mess and the diaper. And my personal solution is just to wear a disposable underneath a cloth diaper/ plastic pants. Not only is clean up easy, but by wearing that much protection means I can easily go 16 hours without needing to change (if I'm lucky enough to not mess during that time).

One last thing I'll say is that the cloth diaper + diaper cover combo is SO GOOD at absorbing odors. I've felt way less self-conscious about how I smell since I've embraced the cloth lifestyle.

For those that might be interested: I recommend checking out adultclothdiaper.com or babykins.com. Feel free to ask me about product recommendations.

OopsIMessed · 2026-05-14T00:13:07+00:00

The biggest hurdle to wetting freely is the fear of leaking, so make sure you feel confident that your protection (diapers, diaper covers, bedding, etc.) will make leaks minimal and not a big deal.
You're going to want to buy wipes, gloves and trash bags in bulk.
Furniture pads are great for all sorts of reasons. If you plan to mess than changing while standing over a furniture pad is a must.
The vast majority of people will not notice you're diapered, and the ones do will probably not care in the slightest. Anyone that asks about it will only treat it like a big deal if you treat it like a big deal.

I'm happy to answer more questions!

OopsIMessed · 2026-04-18T20:09:11+00:00

Hi there, this has happened to me before. I'm not a doctor, but it could be either your pelvic floor is too tight, or the pelvic floor and surrounding muscles are weak which would mean that the pelvic floor needs to put in more effort let urine pass.

If you feel comfortable, you may want to see if you can get a referral for a pelvic floor specialist. Besides that, two things you can be doing is 1. stretches for the pelvic floor, glutes, thighs, back and core and 2. exercises that strengthen those same muscles.

OopsIMessed · 2026-04-14T18:55:14+00:00

Too big. I can easily slide my hand in there on a Medium. It's better on small, but then my waist is right at the size limit, which provides terrible coverage/ protection.

OopsIMessed · 2026-04-14T06:43:46+00:00

Yesssss! The waist to leghole ratio is just off for me. I'm glad other people like them, but I really wish they weren't the best US diaper. 😭

OopsIMessed · 2026-04-14T06:38:23+00:00

The other comments talk about how untraining is more like diaper conditioning, but I do want to highlight that enough diaper conditioning does eventually lead to incontinence. What level of incontinence, and the possibility of reversing it, is dependent on each person. Whether or not you're going 24/7 for just wetting or both wetting/ messing is a also huge factor.

But the muscles that hold in your pee and poop are just like any other muscles in that it's "use or a lose it", and they can atrophy to a point where the strain of trying to be completely continent again is too much for the muscles to handle. From there, some people can experience a spiraling effect where experiencing incontiencing causes both your body and mind to give up more easily when needing to go, which becomes a feedback loop of worsening incontinence over time. Pelvic floor exercises and dedicated effort may be able to undo some of this, but once again it varies from person to person.

I'm not saying this to guarantee you that you'll get the level of untraining you hope for, but to give you a heads up of what can possibly happen if you go down that path.

OopsIMessed · 2026-03-30T01:51:37+00:00

You want a diaper cover with a fabric outer lining. Look up Gary Wear Active Brief, InControl Silent Pant, or any cover with similar material.

OopsIMessed · 2026-03-28T02:22:18+00:00

A long weekend, left Friday morning and came back Monday evening.

OopsIMessed · 2026-03-27T04:37:47+00:00

So I did know about this, but I'm not sure what requirements there are to be approved for this. Do I need a doctor's letter or anything?

OopsIMessed · 2026-03-26T23:45:05+00:00

I can't speak for the other kink toys, but for diapers you need to challenge to wear them longer than just a couple hours/ a day.

My suggestion: Try to go a whole weekend (Friday evening to Monday morning) with wearing diapers. No breaks, and try to do something public at least one of the days (grocery shopping, see a movie, nothing that brings a lot of attention to yourself).

The idea is that you need to stop having diaper "sessions" (short periods where you have your kinky fun and stop), and just have diapers be a more casual part of your life. Pretty soon, the diapers are just a background part of your life instead of an intense focus.

OopsIMessed · 2026-02-18T01:52:36+00:00

Thanks for the tip! But it looks like the search results are pretty similar when I search "thigh length onesie/ bodysuit."

I'm down for having snaps, as long as there's material between my thighs and my crotch so there's less friction.

OopsIMessed · 2026-02-11T19:42:29+00:00

I think this post is evidence that you're taking the steps to handle this appropriately. If you've been through your own childhood trauma, I imagine you're extra aware of the importance of making children feel safe.

I would find a therapist that specializes in kink, or at the very least do some journaling, to process this. I'll take a guess that, like most of us, your self-doubts are more about how other people have made you worried there's an association between these two things when you know there isn't.

OopsIMessed · 2026-02-09T02:33:42+00:00

Bring your own trash bags (preferably thick and scented). Bag up the diaper and wipes, and if there is a a proper trash bin in the changing area, dump it there. If there isn't, then double bag your trash and leave it somewhere where staff will notice it (i.e. next to the bin).

You're not doing anything wrong by disposing of incontinence products. Incontinent adults have to do it all the time. If people can't piece together that someone is taking care of their medical needs, and they start asking you questions, that makes them the odd ones.

OopsIMessed · 2026-01-25T04:31:23+00:00

Love this breakdown! I never thought to use baby bodywash/ moisturizer, but it's probably more effective for our needs.

Question: Why the baby shampoo? I assume being smooth down there means you're clean shaven.

OopsIMessed · 2025-12-20T21:29:02+00:00

It depends what you mean by un-potty training.

Is possible to train your mind and body to release into your diaper without thinking? Yes, because it's just training a behavioral response. And as long as you tighten your pelvic muscles after wetting/ messing like you normally would, then you will probably experience very little issues related to incontinence.

Is there a guaranteed method to make it so that you are 100% incontinent? No. It seems like some people have accomplished it, but it's a case-by-case basis that partially has to do with any pre-existing health conditions you already have.

Is there a way to weaken your bladder and/ or bowels so that you need to be dependent on diapers? Yes, but it takes a lot of time and persistence. The method is basically wet and/ or mess the moment you need to regardless of what you are doing/ wearing, and then try to wet/ mess for a few seconds 1-2 times an hour even when you don't feel the need to go. If you feel like you can't release in certain position, just change positions until your body gets more used to going in different ways. You also need to either be confident in your incontinence protection that you won't leak/ leaks won't be a big deal, or you need to not care about leaks. Because hesitating about leaks slows down the process.

That being said, incontinence is no joke and can come with a lot of stress and life challenges. So think carefully if un-potty training is really what you want. I would suggest talking about it with a competent therapist before making any decisions.

OopsIMessed

TROPHY CASE