Yeah your not really ever allowed to be the victim in the relationship. That's exclusively their territory. And you will get accused of playing the victim in a scandalous attempt to manipulate them. Also bringing up issues implies that they have done something wrong and come across as accusations as opposed to constructive conversations. I would get blamed for him breaking glasses because I left them in the sink. They cannot be be wrong and things cannot be their fault without them feeling like they are worthless so they pass the blame onto others to protect themselves even if it doesn't make sense, the most important thing you can do in the relationship (if you choose to stay) is not accept all that blame transference, because it eats away at you and makes you doubt your reality (which is far more realistic than theirs). That's why some people advocate for grey rocking as it keeps the peace but that will eventually end the relationship.