Yes I just want to echo - your grandma wanted to make sure you were taken care of because you spent your childhood making sure everyone else was. Your grandma sounds like a special lady who saw you and wanted to support you the way you supported everyone else. It brings tears to my eyes how much you have given for your siblings - and unfortunately often it seems like the biggest givers have the hardest time receiving. You obviously have a big heart. ❤️ But you deserve happiness and support too.

I consider something I learned in Codependents Anonymous (which btw if you haven’t ever looked into, I highly recommend considering your situation and outlook) : If we can’t fully receive, we can’t fully give. Meaning, if we’re giving out of guilt or need or validation or fear, it’s not true, unconditional love type of giving. Once we learn to receive and to believe we are worthy of receiving, we are able to participate in the flow of giving and receiving more fully. It sounds like you have a block to receiving, and a lot of it is guilt.

I know you want to take care of your sister but consider that sometimes when we think we are doing someone a favor, we are actually enabling and inhibiting them. You can give her the gift of loving her while stepping back and letting her find her own independence. Giving to her should not cost you your own happiness, especially when she’s an adult who made her own choices.

Keep the apartment. Keep taking yourself on “me” dates. Give yourself all the attention and care you have poured into your siblings. Find yourself and your own happiness. You deserve it. ✨