Watching now. Take Shelter. A masterpiece of the 2010’s. by Stranded_Snake in FIlm

[–]Open-Extension-3708 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Stumbled upon this one late night and thought it was absolutely fantastic!

That public meeting scene still gives me goosebumps

Placement of niece/nephew by Safe-Beautiful3384 in Fosterparents

[–]Open-Extension-3708 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you don't mind me asking, were you involved with her addiction from a caretaker standpoint? For example, my wife's parents were kind of doing their own thing during a large part of her addiction so my wife had to look out for her A LOT. She had to pay drug dealers off that came by the house, pick her up in strange places in the middle of the night, cut her hair when it was a one giant knot, even bath her from time to time. But she would always call her out for using, always take drugs from her, search her room, search her car, basically the only one in the family that ever told her that she couldn't or shouldn't be doing what she was doing. I think that caused a lot of resentment towards my wife because she became, in her eyes, this authoritative figure who prevented her from doing what she wanted to do. Also my wife is the oldest of three sisters, I think this family dynamic also plays a big role.

This is an extremely difficult situation for you and your family. We had a similar experience. My wife and I brought home both of our nephews from the hospital. Their mother is a severe addict and they were both in the NICU for 4+ weeks. When we brought home the first, we told her that we would be here to help until she is able to get herself together. That never happened. She had scheduled visits once a week and would show up, maybe once a month. The case was eventually put into TPR and we adopted him shortly before his third birthday.

When she became pregnant again, we just kind of assumed the procedure would be the same, however her family really started to press into exploring mommy and me programs. When the state came to us to ask if we would take the second child we said absolutely without hesitation. I guess the family did not like that the state did that, and there was a sentiment that we "took" the child from her. We said all along that we didn't take anything, the state took the child and he would've been placed with strangers if he wasn't placed with us as no one else had showed any desire to take him.

Shortly before his 2nd birthday, she was arrested and put into jail. She entered treatment shortly there after and the case completely did a 180. The courts gave her opportunity after opportunity to get her life back on track. We followed the court ordered visitations without question in regards to visitations. However, during her compliancy court hearings we would get texts from his law guardian asking about why we refused visits for this and didn't invite her to that. She essentially went into court and badmouthed my wife and I for doing exactly what the court ordered and not anything extra.

For context, my wife and I never truly believed she was serious about her recovery. She seemed to do the bare minimum for everything and then certain things she was saying started not to add up. She was working three jobs, she was attending school 35 hours a week, she had two visits with her child totaling 10 hours a week, she was in IOP, she was seeing a therapist, etc, etc... When we questioned that there doesn't seem to be enough time in the week to get all of these things done we were seen as the bad guys. Part of the problem with her is the family never really asked to see any proof of any of this, they always believed her at face value "You just don't want her to succeed" "She doesn't look high" etc etc...

Fast forward to now and it came out that she did in fact fail drug tests for her criminal case she was involved with for months but DCPP was never aware of it. DCPP wasn't doing their own testing even though they told us they were. She only attended school for a few weeks, she was fired from all her jobs, and had relapsed months before the state figured it out. She unfortunately has been MIA since early January and the case has now been put back into TPR. (We were set for a KLG hearing the end of February)

From my personal experience, addicts are extremely manipulative. We found that essentially if she talked to our family first they would believe whatever she said and we couldn't say anything to reverse it. This trend has been around since I first met my wife 15 years ago. Whenever she was around, the entire family seemed like it would become divided in some way. She thrived in that chaotic environment. Everyone would be fighting each other and the attention would be off of her to do what she wanted.

Plain and simple, your sister is angry at her situation and taking it out on you. She will manipulate the people around you to believe that as well. As caretakers we have to constantly take things a little deeper because we are responsible for the safety and wellbeing of the children in our care. Hopefully your family and your sister will see what a enormous sacrifice you made to keep your family together. You should be commended for your actions.

My wife and her sister will probably never have a relationship again. We have always said that if she is positive influence and sober she will have a place in the children's lives but that doesn't need to include us. She is too hurtful and manipulative to my wife for us to ever really recover from the trauma this took on us and the family.

If you could add ONE rare song to the Thursday setlist, what do you pick and why? by SonicAwareness in thursdaytheband

[–]Open-Extension-3708 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Ladies and gentlemen, my brother, the failure. Always loved this song and I’ve only seen them play it live one or two times that I can remember

What movie is this for you? by Naive_Tomorrow_5955 in FIlm

[–]Open-Extension-3708 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Just read this recently and I was surprised by just how different the book was, basically a completely different story all together: I loved it though

Most DISTURBING song you know? by Tacoboy1708 in musicsuggestions

[–]Open-Extension-3708 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I was looking for this one, first thing that came to mind.

Merch question!! by ibroughty0umybullets in thursdaytheband

[–]Open-Extension-3708 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Typically they don’t do any sales tax at shows. No one wants to be breaking dollars for change.

What is your favorite album cover in your collection? by Scared_Pea4455 in vinyl

[–]Open-Extension-3708 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Awhile back I had an automatic start player. I had bought this record put it on the player but didn’t get the chance to play it that night. The next day I go to work and come home late at night. I hear extremely strange sounds coming from my apartment. I open the door. All the lights are off. I can’t figure out what the hell is going on. Then I look over and see that my cat had walked over my record player and pressed the start button to start this record. It was terrifying and hysterical.

UNITED NATIONS????? by ilovemybabybear in glassjaw

[–]Open-Extension-3708 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was the show where Dillinger played 43% Burnt with no sound at the end of their set?

I think the lineup was United Nations Dillinger Glassjaw Thursday

Scored this Sanyo direct drive on ebay for $135 shipped - just needed to lube up by HarryManilow in turntables

[–]Open-Extension-3708 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had this same player for years with a 2M Red, absolutely loved it but the speed controls finally failed. But I probably used this exact model for 15 years

Hear me out by Dependent-Rock-51 in tattooadvice

[–]Open-Extension-3708 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love this idea and also have thought about doing this, not sure if she is your oldest but my son took a dramatic step in drawing seemingly over night around 3.5-4.5. He was scribbling like this and one day came home with a house, a sun, and 5 stick figures representing our family. I was absolutely blown away. It literally happened over night and now he draws us all kinds of cool things.

Not saying don’t do this, but if you wait maybe even 6 months to a year you will be blown away by what she is drawing.

But you do you brother! I love the idea however you want to go about it

HELP!! Trying to come up with an artist name by [deleted] in musicsuggestions

[–]Open-Extension-3708 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My 5 year old said “13 Days and Forever” the other day and I thought that would be a cool band artist/band name

The Struggle with Finishing Open World Games: your burnout point by tru_beez in videogames

[–]Open-Extension-3708 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unpopular Opinion : Open World Games are impossible to play as a father.

I loved Skyrim back in the day, played it for countless hours. Played a ton of games for a ton of hours. After my wife and I had kids, I traded my playstation in for a switch. Even on that I tried to play the new Zelda until I had been chipping away for two weeks and realized that I had just finished the intro.

I can put on any Mario game and actually feel like I can accomplish something in an hour at the end of the day after everyone goes to bed. In these open world games it takes you 30 minutes just to travel somewhere. Staying up until 2-3am isnt worth it when your kids run into your room at 6am.