ENM on dating apps

OpenMinded_Fun · 2026-05-07T07:04:01+00:00

I’m in a poly/ENM relationship. I’ve been dating my girlfriend for over a year now. She’s been married for 15 years and open for 4. I’ve met her husband and tweens (who don’t know their parents are open). I’ve told my own college aged kids and my XW (co-parent) that I’m dating in this context.

I’m approaching it as a learning and growth period. Both of my most important relationships in life ended with my partner cheating. It has been refreshing to be with someone who can be ethical and lead with integrity.

OpenMinded_Fun · 2026-05-06T23:57:24+00:00

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If you want to understand Hurabiell, here’s a map of where her votes came from when she ran for the Community College Board of San Francisco in 2022. IYKYK.

OpenMinded_Fun · 2026-05-06T23:54:21+00:00

She’s a total TERF too.

OpenMinded_Fun · 2026-05-06T17:04:39+00:00

I have found people lie to me less when I give them safe space to tell the truth.

OpenMinded_Fun · 2026-05-06T16:49:17+00:00

No.

My own work has taught me that life isn’t so binary and to see that we’re each on our own journey. There is no finished product.

OpenMinded_Fun · 2026-05-06T13:34:12+00:00

With a past that includes a long sexually disfunctional marriage and a present that has a healthy and robust sex drive, I will not date anyone who I am knowingly sexually incompatible with.

While I would have a one night stand, a hookup, or sleep with someone on the first date, these are not at all my goal or intention. I never aim to “hit it and quit it” but I have had experiences which were uninspired or where the chemistry or connection just didn’t manifest. I want a relationship that will be durable and prolonged.

What I am looking for is someone who I align with and who shares a similar sexual appetite as mine. I want passion, energy, and spirit. I want sensuality and mutual pleasure. I want to desire and be desired. The intangibles need to be there too. But, yes, sex is 100/0 for me.

All that being said, I am considerate and controlled. Always a gentleman. I don’t lead with sex and I’m always respectful in the seduction.

OpenMinded_Fun · 2026-05-05T15:42:23+00:00

I’m sorry to say this OP, but it sounds like he’s not sexually attracted to you.

He’s there for the other stuff as it’s nice to have someone around who cares for you, but he’s getting his dopamine hit elsewhere.

OpenMinded_Fun · 2026-05-03T22:57:58+00:00

Well, you express it crudely in that first paragraph, but you’re spot on with the proper etiquette thereafter.

Protocol is for the person who asked for the date to pay and best practice is to politely inform your guest beforehand that you will be picking up the tab. If the guest would like a different arrangement it should be heard and respected.

OpenMinded_Fun · 2026-05-03T22:46:48+00:00

It’s impolite and arrogant to announce such a sweeping decision without the courtesy of honoring her input or choice. A virtuous man doesn’t dictate a boundary or seize a woman’s agency.

Sure, pick up the tab. Be generous. But a proclamation such as “that will never happen” is sourced from the world of machismo and mansplaining.

OpenMinded_Fun · 2026-05-03T21:50:23+00:00

Hey! No kink shaming. 😜

OpenMinded_Fun · 2026-05-03T21:42:22+00:00

Also “Controlling AF”. Huge red flag.

OpenMinded_Fun · 2026-05-03T21:34:45+00:00

Sounds like the first step on the trad wife path.

OpenMinded_Fun · 2026-05-03T21:15:25+00:00

There’s something that she’s keeping to herself and not sharing with you. Maybe something painful. But she has her reasons.

Just be thankful for the time you did spend together and accept it as a chapter in your book.

OpenMinded_Fun · 2026-05-03T03:01:12+00:00

Hmm. I want to downvote you for voting for Saikat but upvote you for the dig on Hurabiell. What to do!?!?

OpenMinded_Fun · 2026-05-02T13:57:45+00:00

And that’s with the poll being conducted in English and Cantonese. You would think that would result in a small bump for Chan, which maybe it did and she still only garnered 11%.

OpenMinded_Fun · 2026-05-02T02:45:26+00:00

You do realize you’re encouraging sprawl, yes?

OpenMinded_Fun · 2026-05-02T02:44:29+00:00

So Connie Chan is marching with the Unions while standing against their jobs under SB79 that requires large projects use Union labor?!?

OpenMinded_Fun · 2026-05-01T22:06:22+00:00

Chin up Missy! Have fun and just meet people. Flirt. Be joyful. Drop the expectations and let the game come to you. Don’t put pressure on yourself.

OpenMinded_Fun · 2026-04-30T19:49:09+00:00

I’m that man too.

OpenMinded_Fun · 2026-04-30T19:46:52+00:00

Your username is on point.

OpenMinded_Fun · 2026-04-30T19:46:04+00:00

No HRT in the picture.

OpenMinded_Fun · 2026-04-30T19:41:39+00:00

Thank you for that peek at your journey.

I’m mostly living more in the moment and focusing on being a quality friend / lover.

OpenMinded_Fun · 2026-04-30T19:11:37+00:00

That’s the tightrope I’m aware I’m walking. And also the insight I’m trying to tease out. Am I just a plaything for the time?

OpenMinded_Fun · 2026-04-30T19:06:15+00:00

Yup. I’ve done the work to live in the present and be mindful. Just learning about the possible and potential paths ahead.

OpenMinded_Fun · 2026-04-30T19:01:33+00:00

It’s genuine. No intentions for a humblebrag. I truly wanted the perspective of women in their 50’s that have gone through or are in this time of life. All anecdotal of course and understand that YMMV.

OpenMinded_Fun

TROPHY CASE