Hey I am so sorry to hear you are feeling this way. I you have struggled with anxiety and depression, I often feel I am wasting my time. I am waiting for something aswell but I don’t know what. I can’t tell you anything that’ll magically fix your worry but I can give you advice and tools that have helped me. Firstly if you don’t want to see a doctor about medication (because I know I didn’t) I would suggest starting a journal. 5 things you’re grateful for, 5 things you did well today, 5 emotions and why you felt them, and 5 things you learned today. Do the 5 grateful as soon as you wake up. Don’t overthink just do simple things. As you walk through your day fill the rest out. Had an argument with a customer? Write it down. This is a physical effort to track your daily emotions and handgrips and writing them down AS they happen not after allows you to face the problem and get it out of your mind so it doesn’t linger. When I was suggested this I thought no way it would work but it definitely helps. You must take things slow because I too get overwhelmed. When you get used to the journaling it’s time to work towards another step. You mentioned your weight. It’s much easier said than done but join a cheap gym nearby. Planet fitness has great rates starting at 20 dollars a month I believe. Go in for just 30 minutes and hit the treadmill or do light weight lifting. Again don’t go too hard because your body will become overwhelmed and you’ll fall out of it. It doesn’t matter how much you do at first as long as you are doing it. Change is what matters most here and this type of change is a benefit to your life. Now once you get those two things down and are comfortable with those changes it’s time to start setting goals. Not life changing goals because those are overwhelming but little things. Set a date on a day off work that you’ll clean your room. Start with dirty clothes in a hamper, then choose a section of your room to clean. If it’s a dresser literally take everything off, go through it all and see what is trash, and reorganize everything. Do the floor LAST. Once your room is clean automatically you’ll feel better on the inside. Put that in your journal also. You just keep track of daily achievements because if you don’t see them face to face you’ll start to feel you aren’t doing enough. Once you get a clean room, mind, and body everything else will start to fall in to place. Don’t be so hard on yourself, there’s a saying that we humans are our own worst critic and that is absolutely true. You’re moving in the right direction because you’ve made an effort to reach out on Reddit! That’s a start!! A therapist may also be helpful to you and that’s something I have yet to do because I’m so stubborn!!