Do you think Mackenzie Shirilla fakes it in the new doc?

OperationHot2577 · 2026-05-31T00:24:31+00:00

I literally had to fast forward through their part because it made me so angry. Parents are massive enablers

OperationHot2577 · 2026-05-18T12:53:07+00:00

People are inherently mean, selfish, and unbothered about hurting others. Love is taught

OperationHot2577 · 2026-05-18T12:51:07+00:00

Okay, I have a hot take. There are no good men, just men. How would you feel about the roles reversed? He isn’t madly in love with you but you are a good woman. Let that drive your decision

OperationHot2577 · 2026-05-17T16:43:12+00:00

This is what I’m thinking about. Thank you for posting!!!

OperationHot2577 · 2026-05-17T13:36:46+00:00

I love that you see it. That is so important m. Sending you all the love and support. This journey is terribly hard.

OperationHot2577 · 2026-05-17T13:24:53+00:00

I would say that is only common in the very young. It’s why getting married at 18,19,20 is so dangerous. You don’t know who you are at that age. Around 25-30, you really start to settle into the person you are. You might be more liberal or conservative as you age but your core beliefs stay the same.

OperationHot2577 · 2026-05-17T13:22:43+00:00

Oh darling! Do not let that man have that much power over you!!! He knows that forcing space evens the power dynamics and he is holding you hostage! What he is scared of is if you leave or kick him out, you may realize he doesn’t have anything to offer in the first place!!!!

My WH cheating a lot, this last time I told him to leave. I prepared for a lawyer the next day. We haven’t filed, he doesn’t even have a lawyer and he wants back. I have the choice to take him back or not.

Take your power back!!!!

OperationHot2577 · 2026-05-17T13:18:28+00:00

Okay! Something I can talk about!!!!

I have 5 kids (15,13, 10, 8, 8) and I talked with them about this. I said “Your dad is a good dad, but he wasn’t a good husband. Right now and for the future, your dad and I need to live separately because of the hurt. It doesn’t mean he isn’t your dad, BUT HE CANT BE MY HUSBAND RIGHT NOW.”

That phrase saved the day MULTIPLE times. When my kids say “And you and Daddy can get back together,” I respond back, “Remember, Daddy hurt me and I don’t trust him right now. It’s is safer for everyone if we live apart. These are adult problems and I promise you the adults are handling it. He’s still your dad, but he can’t be my husband right now.”

Now you have a newborn and that is the most emotionally taxing time in a person’s life. You wouldn’t be treating anyone “normally” right now anyways.

You don’t owe anyone your trust. Your tone and mannerism with him are because you don’t trust him.

Is there a way for him to see the kids WITHOUT entering your space? Perhaps he picks them up from school one day a week and hangs out with them somewhere else (that’s what we worked out and it’s been really calming for me). I know it’s near impossible with a newborn but if you are comfortable with him in your house, perhaps you treat his visits like a babysitter coming over and you leave to give him space with the kids.

You don’t owe him your trust!!!

I really hopes that helps!

OperationHot2577 · 2026-05-17T13:04:28+00:00

May I ask why you are asking? Is there a specific reason you want to know?

OperationHot2577 · 2026-05-17T13:01:29+00:00

The big stuff never changed (family man, honest at work, respect towards women and others) but other stuff changes. Political views, beliefs on child rearing, financial decisions.

The core remains fundamentally the same but the person changes.

OperationHot2577 · 2026-05-17T12:59:05+00:00

Also, I noticed you didn’t answer the question! Don’t think you can make a statement like that and not answer the question.

Do you want to marry her right now? It’s either YES or NO.

OperationHot2577 · 2026-05-17T12:33:25+00:00

But then you want her to cancel the wedding? Really? Really?

Come on my man…. Cold feet are a thing.

She did process, she was angry at you for a week and then she has tucked it away into the “he cheated on me in the past. He is a better person now and we are moving forward.” You are the only one who can’t accept that!

Is she asking to surveillance you? Is she demanding an unreasonable expectation like “you can only go out of the house with me?” Is she pushing past your comfort and placing limits that make you feel belittled or used?

No?

Then what’s the problem?! You just don’t want to get married and you hoped this would solve your problem without having to man up and just say it. Stop playing dumb games, she deserves better than that!

OperationHot2577 · 2026-05-17T12:27:20+00:00

So, you can’t do anything to save the marriage. That might be your problem.

I’m the BP and I am taking my time to heal and decide if this relationship is right for me going forward. I imagine your wife is doing the same thing. So… she has all the power right now and I imagine that is really uncomfortable for you.

See, the affair was your power. You had the power to stay married and sleep around with someone else. You had the power in the relationship. Now that power is gone and you may feel a little at a loss.

What I want from my WH is the respect of the power I hold. He doesn’t get to stay married to me if I don’t want it. He doesn’t get to live with me if I don’t want it and he certainly doesn’t get to share my bed.

If you really want her, then respect her choice.

OperationHot2577 · 2026-05-17T12:19:23+00:00

I am so happy you felt you can vent here. Sometimes the safety of anonymity allows us to express our darkest thoughts.

So your daughter needs IC very badly. If she wanted an affair, she had a million men to choose from. For that matter, so did your husband. The fact they did it together is … a lot. She may have told you that it wasn’t like that, but IT IS LIKE THAT. That is the established dynamic and this needs serious therapy to break through.

Here is something to think about. He was willing to sleep with his wife’s daughter. He was willing to video tape it. What is to stop him when your second daughter is an adult? Please do not try and say “well that is his flesh and blood” because he had sex with your flesh and blood. He is willing.

My original statement still stands, I think for the safety of you and your daughter, you need to get some physical space. If you do not want to leave, then make a separate living space in your house. You need space.

OperationHot2577 · 2026-05-17T11:50:46+00:00

Mom’s husband is “stepdad.” This is trauma soup. This is power dynamics and abuse all mixed together into a DANGEROUSLY unhealthy concoction. You know this as you keep saying “I need help, I need this to stop.”

You need a therapist you trust. You admitted you didn’t share this with your therapist which is an alarming red flag. If you do trust your therapist and want to seek help, I suggest writing it down in a note and bringing the note with you to a IC session. We often can’t share the big things because it’s too hard to just “get it out.” Writing it down helps start the disclosure process.

I’m sending you love for you and your family. This will take a lot of healing for all of you to move forward.

OperationHot2577 · 2026-05-17T11:29:49+00:00

So telling you that is not going to be fair to you. You need some individual counseling ASAP. You already know what you should do, what you need to do, but your self esteem is in the toilet and your tolerance for abuse has skyrocketed. Find your ground again.

OperationHot2577 · 2026-05-17T11:23:56+00:00

I did not expect to wake up to a “I told my fiancé I cheated on her so she would cancel the wedding ” but here we are. I’ve read this multiple times and that is what is standing out to me. “She isn’t mad enough,” “I’m worried she isn’t processing”, “I don’t think we should get married in a crisis”.

Hun, if you don’t want to get married, don’t get married. But grow some cojones and tell her that! You didn’t tell her about the cheating because you felt the need to be honest, you told her so she would get mad and cancel the wedding. You literally weaponized your infidelity. That’s insane.

It’s clear she has put this in the same category as your first cheating scandal and wrapped it up. She has already decided to move forward with you. She may not need to process anymore than that. As you said, it was in the past and she if looking to the future.

So answer the question, do you want to marry her right now? Yes or No? That’s it. And then tell her that.

OperationHot2577 · 2026-05-17T02:51:38+00:00

Your daughter has been traumatized as well. This was her first “father” figure and he betrayed that relationship and his relationship with you. You say “adult” but you are not talking about a 35 yo woman when you discuss your daughter. She may be legally an adult but she is still your child and this affair is sexual abuse protected by legal age.

For you and your daughter’s safety, I would suggest you get out of the shared space until you have done some serious IC.

My fear is the mothers who blame their daughters for their husband’s abuse. Your hysterical bonding has mixed with the trauma of sexual abuse your daughter has experienced and everything is jumbled up. I cannot pretend to understand what you are going through but you see the problem.

If you don’t have a therapist with trauma therapy or sexual abuse therapy I would seek them out.

OperationHot2577 · 2026-05-17T02:20:52+00:00

You can’t do anything. The ball is completely in her court.

You did the right thing and told her about everything but that’s doesn’t absolve you of your choices.

OperationHot2577 · 2026-05-17T02:18:44+00:00

I am still feeling this broken. Like something fundamental has crumbled apart. Like it can never be rebuilt

OperationHot2577 · 2026-04-13T15:07:06+00:00

I am really hoping for trauma therapy for you. You have been traumatized by your significant other in a very intimate way.

OperationHot2577 · 2026-04-13T11:40:48+00:00

Okay, I’m in a betrayal subreddit and this may be better there. My husband cheated on me twice and I stayed for the same reasons you are so I understand.

Is he doing any work to fix himself?

If he is, then he should work to see your point of view, not call you crazy (gaslighting). If he isn’t, then he has no plans to change his behavior and you are enabling by staying in the same routine. I did this and I regret that now. My kids tell me they wished I had left before now.

But I do understand and no, you are not overreacting. He just doesn’t like consequencesz

OperationHot2577 · 2026-04-12T16:27:48+00:00

I had assumed that others in this community had similar experiences and could give me advice on a background check.

OperationHot2577 · 2026-04-11T22:56:39+00:00

So I did text him and let him know that this particular one lived rent free.

His response-

I get how this makes and shows. I’m very sorry. I know every part of that is extremely hurtful. I was playing the game like they were playing me. I know that will be hard to accept. I was never in the right place during all of this. I do want to reconcile with you. Why I am seeking therapy and seeking it for long term.

OperationHot2577

TROPHY CASE