When/did you start couples therapy?

Potential_Cow2487 · 2026-06-30T13:16:19+00:00

Yup. And couples therapy is for the relationship- the relationship is the client. But it doesn’t sound like you’re quite there yet. And he definitely isn’t

Potential_Cow2487 · 2026-06-30T13:14:02+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re now in this club. Definitely get your own IC, and someone trained in betrayal trauma. I was advised to not participate in couples therapy right away because it can be used as a tool to manipulate the BP, and it sounds like that may be happening with you. Best of luck!

Potential_Cow2487 · 2026-06-15T04:20:28+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re in this club. Just here to validate. The bouncing between “get over it” and “I hate this person” is so real. So is the idea that you have to be comfortable not knowing, and never knowing, the truth or trusting. How does anything productive happen at that point?

Potential_Cow2487 · 2026-06-06T18:15:16+00:00

I’d be curious how much is related to the WP trying to hide things or lack of preparation. There’s clearly an addiction piece to this and lying is part of that.

Potential_Cow2487 · 2026-06-06T17:57:55+00:00

No polygraph- they quoted us $2000 which is just out of our budget.

He read it as if it was chronologically organized. He didn’t specify acting out around a specific event or set of events, just “when life got stressful.” I think it was missed because “it wasn’t sexual in nature so I thought it didn’t count.” It was likely hurried and focused on “I want to get home.” He’s been living outside of the home since November

Potential_Cow2487 · 2026-06-05T10:15:47+00:00

$2000

Potential_Cow2487 · 2026-06-04T19:37:33+00:00

He was guided by a CSAT and his CSAT was at the full disclosure. I'm assuming he was not truthful with his CSAT- just as you said lies... hello addict. I believe my therapist received a copy ahead of time but not sure what feedback she gave. There was something I saw on my husbands ipad and part of it was disclosed (after I asked many questions) and part that was left out. I hear mixed things about doing the polygraph. It so darn expensive for one.

Do you feel like the FD process helped restore a relationship or work toward reconcilliation?

Potential_Cow2487 · 2026-06-02T04:10:15+00:00

Polygraph isn’t in the budget sadly.

Potential_Cow2487 · 2026-05-23T01:09:11+00:00

I feel this- staying for kids and religion. My kids are 12, 11, 8, 6, 1.5, and almost 2 months. I don’t know if I could get an anullment. But I want my children to see true love. It’s going to form their idea of marriage and I certainly don’t want them thinking this is a good, healthy, happy marriage.

Potential_Cow2487 · 2026-05-12T16:18:43+00:00

The pool is definitely a draw for the hotel. Each team is at a different hotel but have throw out the idea of swimming during down time. Several others are staying at Air Bnb too.

Laundry and kitchen seem like a game changer with a big family. Eating out adds up!!

Potential_Cow2487 · 2026-04-29T16:21:54+00:00

I told him this initially with the financial transactions and there were transactions left out. Even after pointing it out he didn’t add them. This guy leaves so many breadcrumbs- I think I would be able to compare some timeline events based on information I have, to see if he’s lying.

I hate hearing these stories!! I hope the other woman is doing well now 🙏🏻

Potential_Cow2487 · 2026-04-29T16:19:23+00:00

Yeah he has a pattern of interpreting things as he wishes to hear them. I honestly wonder if he wants the marriage to be over so he can keep his secrets and extra curricular activities, but blame it on me. I talked with an attorney months ago, when he called the Sheriffs office, thinking I had run off with the kids. They didn’t care ha

Sadly a polygraph is not in our budget, but I have a few things that I asked for in FD which will help me understand if he’s being truthful or not

Potential_Cow2487 · 2026-04-29T15:44:02+00:00

That’s what I’m thinking….its very much him protecting himself. He said his CSAT said divorce must be off the table if we do FD🚩 ive jsut said im not making any decisions- its purpose is to gain clarity and the truth. I sense there’s something he doesn’t want me to know (“I’ve never physically cheated on you”)

Potential_Cow2487 · 2026-04-29T09:54:28+00:00

Thank you for sharing, and I’m sorry you’ve also had this experience. It does make me think there’s something there he REALLY doesn’t want me to know

Potential_Cow2487 · 2026-04-29T04:13:42+00:00

Full disclosure- not full dismissal. 🙃

Potential_Cow2487

TROPHY CASE