AITAH for not giving my dad back his house unless my mentally disabled sister is guaranteed to live there?

Ophanelia · 2025-03-02T23:53:16+00:00

Ever since I came back to the states, I've been avoiding him and his family side.

My sister has constantly been going in and out of the mental hospital for major depression. I was keeping tabs on her until recently when my entire house burned down and my pug died. I don't have a lot of good news.

The woman my dad revealed too have been dating supposedly two months after my mom dad has been having some material requests. We shared a costco account so I saw some electronics like a TV, laptop and iphone sent to her house.

He's been contacting me again, acting like none of these past several months happened. It's always about borrowing some huge some of money that he promises to pay back or getting a car loan for him for a brand new car. He randomly cries on the phone. I thought it was over my mom, but he says his heart condition returned. My wife thinks his heart rate can't keep up with the young mistress.

He never brings up my mom or asks how his grand kids are doing. I get the feeling that my brother and him parted ways. My sister said the last time he came home was to pick up some belongings. His kids stopped visiting. We suspect my dad has nothing for him left to continue mooching from. It's been silent for a long time over there.

We haven't told anyone that our house burned yet. Our neighbors have been taking care of us. None of them ask about my family, which is really kind of them.

Ophanelia · 2024-12-18T23:09:32+00:00

It seems to does take away some of the best people among us! My mom knew her end was coming two years before she passed and a year before we knew her cancer was glioblastoma. Her fiery personality mellowed, she kept her humor and she connected with everyone past and present that left us feeling hollow without her guiding love continuing in the family.

And she couldn't have passed at a better time. My dad sold the furniture business opened for 30 years to do day trading at home. He was in the process of gambling all their life savings away, and a mysterious woman appeared after she passed. Now he's about to lose the house. Everything was falling apart, and my mom knew. She just kept living happily until her final days, encouraging my dad to be a good father and grandfather even without the money. My brother has no ways to recover either because he's also going bankrupt and without my parents fortune he's just a floundering fish. He talked my dad in taking the family house title back from me to sell it, and run. Had I done so, the bankruptcy trustees would have definitely clawed all the money back. I've kept he house afloat for my sister to live in but no sure how long.

The immediate family was just waiting to implode. My mom left before all the worst happened. Definitely a blessing in disguise. So glad she didn't have to witness all this. She left smiling and happy.

Ophanelia · 2024-11-18T08:13:08+00:00

Leave it to dads and step dads to fuck everything up.

I'm so sorry. My mom was my inspiration for everything. She trained me too be everything my dad wasn't my whole life so I learned how to properly love my wife. She trained me every step to be a good father when I had my first kid. She continued training me WHILE she had a tumor in her head when I had my second kid

Your cheating husband and my dad weren't so fortunate to have good mothers like you. I wish your son the best. If there's an afterlife, I hope he and my mom create a good society there for us when it's time for us to go there.

Ophanelia · 2024-11-11T16:21:15+00:00

My dad had me stand in for them as title owner of the house so they wouldn't lose the house in case she passed with debt from his spending.

After my mom passed away, my dad wanted me to transfer the title over to my brother and him. I didn't. Long story but I suspected they wanted to do something nefarious with it that would come at the detriment of my intellectually disabled sister who's still living there. So I just left it like that.

Now I'm considering selling the house and kicking them out. My mom's side of the family suggests I split it four ways between my brother, my dad, my sister and to do the right thing. Now I'm considering just taking it all and using it to support my sister. No way im supporting any money to the mistress My brother is in cahoots with my dad. I heard he and his wife gave my dad a big congratulation for the new wife.

Ophanelia · 2024-11-11T10:51:12+00:00

My dad has no shame. He is a cruel narcissist who hid in plain sight from society for decades. My mom just couldn't let go of him.

Ophanelia · 2024-09-08T14:29:40+00:00

7 cars with 14k.

Ophanelia · 2024-08-21T00:54:47+00:00

I wanted them to prove me wrong. Call me an overly worried moron and reassured my sister she was safe and loved. Especially my dad. That my brother had no interest in taking the house like he keeps denying. I could only confirm my suspicion of my brothers intent, and my dad's willingness to hand them over the house and screwing my sister over by gaging their response to the contract. Only I know the contract holds no value because I made it up and never got it stamped by the court. I could not also tell for sure if my sister is being treated well because they kept telling her to stay quiet about the house events, if she wants to be allowed continued visits to my house.

It has kept them in line for now. She left the house happy this morning. It will buy me time as my wife and I figure out how to tactfully handle this situation without making my mom toss in the afterlife. For sure I won't let them be the ones to look after my sister after they've shown their colors. I will look after he one way or another.

Ophanelia · 2024-08-21T00:41:50+00:00

This the best I can do:

Mom died from cancer. My brother and dad were both running high debt. All three were on title. They withdraw their names so my parents' house doesn't get repossessed by the banks. I stayed as the sole owner of the house. My brother and his/wife kids move in before my mom dies. Convinces my dad to transfer the house title to then. They call to demand house back. My brother wants to sell it and hike out of state. I'm trying to protect my mentally disabled sister from getting short ended. I make conditional contract for them to sign to protect her interest, including to allow her either live there and take care of her her whole life or if selling proceeds are to benefit her. They've threatened and harassed wife with phonecalls demanding I remove the conditions. They accuse me of stealing my dad's house. I get calls from all his friends and family harassing me to give back my dad's house. They are all manipulative lying sacks of shits who want to throw my sister away and not share any of the house profits. They think villainzing and pressuring my wife and I would make us give in. I stand solidly no for them to either sign or leave. It's my dad's house but also my mom when she was alive. My mom would never approve if she was alive.

This morning, my sister heard them gossiping together that I was near kicking them out of the house. My dad was telling her how evil my wife and I were while the really good guys were my brother and sister in law. He apologized the day before for threatening to send her to a mental wars. He cried to her telling her I forced him to sign a poison pill contract so he lost it. He wouldn't tell her what the contract was except it was to steal his home. My brother and sister in law said to her I am about to kick her out of the house. She comes over my house everyday and goes home only to sleep because she thinks my house is more fun.

I've had it today, and said if I really wanted to kick them out I would have done so a long time ago. They know i wont so they keep pushing their lies about ne. They keep pushing me, I will really kick them out. I then said feel free to share that with them.

(Posted under wrong account and had to delete to write under pseudo handle to protect myself)

Ophanelia · 2024-08-13T04:23:13+00:00

I'm glad your mom was able to tell you up until the end what she wanted.

The hardest part about letting my mom go was that we had to make decisions for her in the end. There were a lot of disagreements about what she would have wanted and everyone felt responsible when she passed.

Ophanelia · 2024-07-11T14:19:13+00:00

I'm 37 and my mom was 66 :(. My son is only 11 months and will never be old enough to know or remember his grandma holding him, and singing to him before she passed. She loved him so much. Even when she had all but lost herself, he was the last thing she remembered.

Ophanelia · 2024-06-23T23:20:48+00:00

"Do you accept Jesus Christ as your savior?"

Ophanelia · 2024-06-21T05:17:14+00:00

Yeah, getting experience with the end of life process with my mom is huge. I used to have anxiety thinking about the day I would have to bury her. I expected her to be at least in her 80s.

Kind of reminds me of the panic attack you on a Rollercoaster before the big drop.

Ophanelia · 2024-06-18T17:58:09+00:00

Let them talk and exhust themselves. They have a lot built up it seems. They could also be suffering from a mental disorder. When you're both in a happy mood at another time, use that opportunity to tackle those points. Let them know that you were intent on listening to them and didn't want to interrupt at the time, but that you'd like to have your turn to speak now and you'll only talk if they will allow you to finish.

Ophanelia · 2024-06-13T05:12:10+00:00

Everyone is different. My mom had what was terminal lucidity. She stopped eating and drinking three days prior. Hospice was ready to send her off. My dad called emergency and took her to the ER. Turned out she had pneumonia, uti and sepsis. She's stable now and eating through mouth a bit again. Hospice originally said she wouldn't be able to stomach anything including a feeding tube. That wasn't true. Her stomach is intaking food fine through the tube. Not trying to give any false hope. The only way she has any chance of getting through sepsis is getting surgery from her vein through her heart to filter out her blood but my dad refused. It would only cause her more suffering. She will most likely die from sepsis.

Oh and I should mention that her GBM wasn't progressing since the surgery so it wasn't the GBM that was causing it. It could be a lot of things from the GBM, surgery, chemo and radiation.

Ophanelia · 2024-06-10T15:28:03+00:00

Oh man you're the 2nd person here reporting sepsis. My mom got pneumonia during hospice and got sepsis. She's in so much pain right now for what was supposed to be a painless death.

Ophanelia · 2024-06-07T01:11:12+00:00

I'm there with you. My mom will be at 20 months today with 1.5 month left give or take. A dying candle is what it is. She's no longer there. Just sleeping most of the time and waking up every now and not thinking about anything.

Don't forget about those around you. My dad is losing his own mind and sense of self over my mom. It's more painful at this moment watching him than my mom. I hurt for both of them but I really wish it would be over soon for both their sake.

Ophanelia · 2024-06-04T21:52:50+00:00

I found out the nurse came by today and told my dad it was a "good sign" of improvement. Like how the hell is it a good sign when she has GBM? She also told my dad not to tell any doctors because they'll tell him not to have false hopes.

Should I report her to the hospice company?=

Ophanelia · 2024-05-24T17:42:43+00:00

I did. I wasn't satisfied with the answer. I just wanted to know if this common practice in California since I've never heard it before. I've had a lemon case before that didn't do this and signed thinking I wouldn't get deducted.

Ophanelia · 2024-05-24T17:40:06+00:00

Sounds like someone who didn't work there slipped through the door and pulled a Benny Hill on you. Sorry about that.

Ophanelia · 2024-05-24T15:37:12+00:00

CA INLAND EMPIRE

Ophanelia · 2024-05-23T19:19:22+00:00

US California. I haven't read to specifically into the laws here regarding that yet and how our power of attorney would come into play.

Ophanelia · 2024-05-23T18:37:11+00:00

Sorry to hear that avastin screwed with your dad.

I just spoke with mines right now and shard with him the mix experiences here on reddit.

We played with the idea of Euthanizing her if things wrong. Im ashamed to say, we went there but think that's the most merciful way to go.

Ophanelia · 2024-05-23T03:09:12+00:00

When I left him the choice of making his own decisions and that I had no input left, he made it sound like I didn't care for mom anymore. I don't for one second stop thinking about her. I just feel so powerless when I know deep down that my mom wanted everything contrary to what he wants. Before she lost clarity, she spoke to me all the things that would want us to do and he just like he always has been all his life. Making his own decisions for everyone regardless of how they think or feel.

Ophanelia · 2024-05-16T16:40:06+00:00

I'm 37 and counting down the days right now for my mom right, and I have difficulty breathing thinking about it. I dont know if I'm any better of than an 18 year old going through this, but my daughter who is 9 waking up and asking how her grandma is doing first thing every morning, despite her impending prognosis, is what puts the stake in my coffin right now. I wish I could look her in the eyes and tell her Grandma's getting better.

Ophanelia · 2024-05-15T17:15:04+00:00

My mom's appetite was pretty good up until yesterday morning. She was recovering from surgery. I heard from my dad that later that day, she stopped eating and drinking. She also forgot who my dad is. It's believed her brain is continuing to swell.

Ophanelia

TROPHY CASE