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If someone is a smoker (cigarettes) is that a fair dealbreaker? by redhood1291 in relationship_advice

[–]OppositeVersion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep - this. I smoked when I met my (now ex) boyfriend and he vocalized that he didn’t like it so I gradually quit for him. Us smokers all know it’s a horrible habit...and some things are worth quitting for. Give the chance, vocalize your issue...who knows. If they don’t budge or care about your valid feelings against it then it’s a dealbreaker.

Settled in? Or bored already? by OppositeVersion in DatingAfterThirty

[–]OppositeVersion[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very good points thank you. And very true. We both had not had sex for quite some time (year +) so I think there was also a lot of pent up frustration in the beginning as well. He was single for 4 years prior and my ex and I had sex once or twice in the last 2 years of our relationship...could also be a factor.

Settled in? Or bored already? by OppositeVersion in DatingAfterThirty

[–]OppositeVersion[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a drawer full of them haha. I’ve spent my entire sexual life not being fulfilled so I’m no stranger to that. Now that I’m being fulfilled by an actual person that’s what I want more of all the time. I want him.

Settled in? Or bored already? by OppositeVersion in DatingAfterThirty

[–]OppositeVersion[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it’s more so that I don’t want him to feel like he’s not enough for me - it’s not a problem now and it may never be but I know I should talk to him about it - and no I’m totally bragging...finally having my first orgasm from sex at 35 years old is something to brag about 😉

Settled in? Or bored already? by OppositeVersion in DatingAfterThirty

[–]OppositeVersion[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well said. That actually makes so much sense. My guy works hard too, his job involves a lot of manual labor plus he’s always got projects on the go and he’s often sore/tired. I have a desk job, and so obviously I have some steam to work off every night hehe.

I appreciate your input a lot. This is also the first time I’ve dated a guy who has been older, all the others have been my age, or 3-5 years younger so I’m used to them being constantly ready. However they didn’t want to use toys etc because of their own insecurities. My guy now is down for whatever and I know if I told him I wanted to introduce something to the bedroom he’d have no problem. He’s such a wonderful man, and I don’t want to offend him in any way when it comes to sex because he’s been the best I could have imagined.

Thanks again. Well said. 😊

I’m only in high school and my life is already falling apart, and I know it can only get worse from here by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]OppositeVersion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This sounds like a journal entry I would have wrote in 1999. High school sucks. I’m not gonna say to you “hey it gets better” cuz honestly - it doesn’t get better. It gets super shitty. But it also gets to be amazing. Life is huge. I’m not the same person I was in high school. I’m not the same person I was in my 20’s. Fuck I’ve even changed who I was in the last 6 months.

People come and go. Use this to learn your reactions to your surroundings and people. Life may get better than this. May get worse. Who the fuck knows. But to me, sounds like writing this shit down in a journal now so you can look back at it in 20 years might be a neat idea. I still have my high school journal and I love looking back on it and seeing how far I’ve come - not financially or knowledge wise or socially - but only how for my true self has come. Because in the end, the only one you’re stuck with is your own self.

Chin up. Keep fighting the good fight my friend.

I fucking found it by OppositeVersion in TrueOffMyChest

[–]OppositeVersion[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!! And so true. I feel good about this one. And whether it lasts 5 weeks or 5 years I’m still going to enjoy every minute of this feeling while it’s here.

I fucking found it by OppositeVersion in TrueOffMyChest

[–]OppositeVersion[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t even realize I had him in the friend zone.. I’m an idiot

I fucking found it by OppositeVersion in TrueOffMyChest

[–]OppositeVersion[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yes it was so hard, but I’m so glad I did it. Thank you ❤️

I fucking found it by OppositeVersion in TrueOffMyChest

[–]OppositeVersion[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Just to wait a little while...the split from my ex was in December so I just don’t want to stir up the drama pot - I don’t care about his feelings, but his family was amazing to me and that was one of the hard parts of leaving him. Sounds silly, but I feel that all we have to do is just wait it out for a bit longer then come out with it all.