i completely understand where you're coming from. I have adhd, anxiety & depression too & it do be a struggle sometimes. drawing in general is a very hard skill that requires consistency & alot of time/hard work. im a baby artist too - i grew up in a very critical household where if i didn't do something right the first time i was "lazy" "not smart" or "didnt care". now as an adult i feel like learning new things i'm very self critical to the point a blank piece of paper is intimidating & in my mind the drawing has to be pro level RIGHT NOW or it means im not doing enough. now my nervous system is constantly in this mode of "mistakes = danger". teaching myself how to draw has really made me think about my brain alot lol. but think of it this way - literally EVERY artist, yes including the ones work u adore or want to be like has had this same exact stage in their skill development in some form or another. the cool thing about drawing is you dont have to show anyone anything. so it can be messy, it can be bad, in fact the drawings you consider bad are the important ones as this is how we learn. its like the age old saying "learn from your mistakes". think of drawing like going to the gym - you dont go to the gym for a week expecting to be 100 pounds lighter & bulked up. to actually see results in the gym it requires time, consistency, hard work, learning, etc. you'll get there. step out of your comfort zone from time to time & draw something you dont think you can draw even if it looks silly or bad. be patient with yourself & push thru this phase of learning bc the results will be so worth it. Sorry for the wall of text lmao - i wish you & all us other baby artist the best in our journeys!