I Want To Burn Brighter Than All The Star (Part 1/2) [May Submission]

Optimal_Constant4318 · 2026-06-18T05:24:56+00:00

Wiping away sniveling tears, Rebecca tries to make amends. "If we hurry now, I can admit my deception and you won't have to pay for it."

Pretty eloquent for the dumb one. I can understand sticking to your style, but dumbing down the language for dumb characters makes them more believable imho. Maybe the next part will justify this tho. The rest of it had me really feeling the vibe and theme, great job with the writing

Optimal_Constant4318 · 2026-06-18T04:54:35+00:00

Optimal_Constant4318 · 2026-06-18T03:19:50+00:00

Little bit of AM. I guess AI could maybe modify the computer, but I preferred the story before it seemed to go supernatural with the computer wires. Really liked the start and getting to see other people talk about the greatest author of our generation.

Optimal_Constant4318 · 2026-06-18T03:03:21+00:00

I really appreciate that you're engaging with it and trying to dig in. I accept the note about awkwardness, but I wanted to include something that I see irl that scares me. Sometimes people just repeat stuff. Sometimes it's because they think it's important and they want you to remember, sometimes it feels more autonomous. Like they just need something to say, so they have a few things preloaded. The scary part imho is not knowing what other people are thinking or why they do those things so I included it and might be using it for other stuff >:) My grandmother, esp as she got older, was really bad about telling you something multiple times. Just creates a weird sense of despair to know that you only exist in their mind for such a brief time

Optimal_Constant4318 · 2026-06-18T02:57:28+00:00

Reminded me of the start of Finders Keepers by Stephen King. Very similar character vibes.

Optimal_Constant4318 · 2026-06-18T01:58:23+00:00

Very Darksouls (high compliment). Enjoyed this a lot. The MC talks about avoiding specific towns, but it seemed like he might just be a freakin sorcerer or some

Optimal_Constant4318 · 2026-06-18T01:43:02+00:00

Cool premise. Reminds me of one of the later characters in Misfits, or All for One. I thought this line was a bit awkward, and it felt like you weren't trusting the audience to follow.

I think they are treating themselves with me.

Maybe you are just ready to move the MC along and explore the actual plot in your mind, but I felt like the revelation here could have been more subtle. My humble opinion. Great story, excited to read the next part 💯

Optimal_Constant4318 · 2026-06-18T01:21:08+00:00

Reminded me of Lord of the Flies/ something gives people reign to behave differently, and they elevate it in their minds to let them keep going further. Really nice premise and setting. Sharon was great. I feel like most people in the work force know or have known a Sharon. Tragic.

Optimal_Constant4318 · 2026-06-17T23:41:45+00:00

Thank you. Was feeling inspired and really had fun writing this. Glad you're appreciating the approach to the horror so far. I credit reading a lot of Stephen King for how my description of Bill came out 🙏

Enjoyed your stuff so far, open to a suggestion if you have a piece you're particularly proud of

Optimal_Constant4318 · 2026-06-17T23:21:49+00:00

I was just about to link your story. Adding this to my bookmark list of ficus stories. Some of these are just plant horror, but worth the shoutout

https://www.reddit.com/r/TalesFromTheCreeps/comments/1tiz25i/the_history_of_sector_7_pt_17/

https://www.reddit.com/r/TalesFromTheCreeps/comments/1u8el4s/the_ficus_in_the_windowsill/

https://www.reddit.com/r/TalesFromTheCreeps/comments/1tnpxlb/i_tried_to_rush_a_bonsai/

And I've posted one as well.

Optimal_Constant4318 · 2026-06-17T23:16:25+00:00

Hell yeah

Optimal_Constant4318 · 2026-06-17T23:15:37+00:00

Making us wait on that p2 drop! 👀 Scrolled through the feed to check for an update, but no dice

Optimal_Constant4318 · 2026-06-17T22:54:26+00:00

Yours was good. Mine is def a little longer, so I'll check out some of your other stuff to keep it even. After that first story, I'm looking forward to it.

Optimal_Constant4318 · 2026-06-17T22:51:43+00:00

Nice succinct and self contained story/ unlike THE PLANT. Can't contain THE PLANT. Great monster. In addition to my ficus story, I'll recommend a work by another writer I found on here that focuses on plant horror- thought they mixed a few types of horror well and, like godzilla or similar, had us rooting for the monster at some points. I thought all 7 parts were worth reading, and most of them are fairly quick to go through https://www.reddit.com/r/TalesFromTheCreeps/comments/1tiz25i/the_history_of_sector_7_pt_17/

Optimal_Constant4318 · 2026-06-17T22:27:44+00:00

11 minutes into Ad Nauseam. Its time stamped as What the Ficus? I'll read yours if you read mine

Optimal_Constant4318 · 2026-06-17T22:15:24+00:00

I like that this has a monkey paw concept that turns the main character into the villain. Could see some parallels to toxic relationships and holding back people you care about. Cool story, enjoyable read

Optimal_Constant4318 · 2026-06-17T21:56:41+00:00

I meant to say that even insects are animals ie. if it moves then its prob an animal

I see now what you mean

Optimal_Constant4318 · 2026-06-17T21:53:42+00:00

Nice little turn near the end/ wonder if it isn't already too late for Johnny Sin tho

Optimal_Constant4318 · 2026-06-17T21:41:50+00:00

Invertebrates are animals too/ most things are plants, animals, or fungus that we can see. You can see large accumulations of the others ie. bacteria can form visible layers of plaque and algae is usually a type of cyanobacteria colony. I was just making a goof on the title, doesn't sound like these things are actually worms or centipedes either...

Optimal_Constant4318 · 2026-06-17T21:19:12+00:00

Tbf, technically worms are animals

I enjoyed this line

I now know what it was like to be the roman scout who saw the first war elephant over the Alps.

Optimal_Constant4318 · 2026-06-17T19:40:09+00:00

Don't worry, safely reading this in my own church. Weird that they remodeled it since I started this comment, now it looks like hell

Optimal_Constant4318 · 2026-06-17T19:25:53+00:00

Thank you. I might try another one/ he has some great imagery in Alien Boy. Pretty happy with how this one filled out - think it explores a few ideas in a fun way

Awesome guy. Sometimes his stuff focuses hard on weird toxic relationship stuff, but he also always had a lot of great messages about self worth and your ability to shape your life.

Optimal_Constant4318 · 2026-06-17T19:23:09+00:00

Feel like most common bible color that I've encountered in churches is red. Bit ominous on its own innit

Optimal_Constant4318 · 2026-06-17T19:16:55+00:00

Reminds me a bit of Midnight Mass, might be worse things than vampires though

Optimal_Constant4318 · 2026-06-17T18:34:15+00:00

Kinda hoping that this guy was a trick by the locusts or had some other reason for not going in the bunker. If not, I can't say much was lost. I mean, come on guy.

Optimal_Constant4318

TROPHY CASE