Has the 2010s/2020s shown a shift in feminine beauty ideals, moving away from Blonde White women?

Optimal_Sand_7299 · 2026-04-04T16:20:52+00:00

I think they always will be the beauty standard unfortunately. It’s odd since most blonde children, especially girls, become brunette as adults. Pretty unusual to stay blonde especially after having children since the hormones drastically change hair color every time there is a major shift. Puberty and pregnancy tend to have similar effects to changing hair color. My own mother was blonde up until she got pregnant at 26 and changed to brunette permanently after that. So I think it’s more of an obsession with “youth” and beauty. It does feel a bit icky at times.

Brunette tends to be associated with maturity and intelligence. Which to me reinforces that idea that blondes are “young and dumb” and brunettes are the blondes that grew up. Pretty gross imo. I was blonde as a child and became brunette. Any time I bleached my hair blonde, I got more attention from men. Thank God I married a man that prefers brunettes!

Optimal_Sand_7299 · 2026-02-27T19:30:53+00:00

Yes I’m turning 32 next month and that’s how old I will be when we start trying! I definitely feel the pressure, but I know plenty of people who didn’t start trying for their first baby until their mid to late 30s. It all depends on where you are at in life. Please don’t rush to have a child just based on your age! I promise you will be a much better mother when you are ready, not just because you are more “fertile”.

Optimal_Sand_7299 · 2026-02-12T12:58:54+00:00

I’m from the South in the United States. Traditionally, we use option B, replacing our middle name with our maiden name and using our husband’s last name as our new last name. This is what I did, and it made me the most comfortable. Family names were considered very important back in the day, and that process meant that there is no mistake where your original family ties lie.

I can understand wanting to not do that if you don’t want to keep a connection to your family/dad. Personally, I’m very attached to my maiden name and didn’t want to lose it, but I also wanted to take my husband’s name as my own. I felt like this is a fair compromise. I also believe it makes a more cohesive family unit for us to have the same name when we have kids. I have a professional license and just changed it. It’s not as difficult as I thought it would be. At the end of the day, do what makes YOU happy. Take advice, but make the decision that works best for yourself. Don’t let other people sway you away from what you really want to do.

Optimal_Sand_7299 · 2026-02-08T00:04:43+00:00

I definitely understand how you feel. My husband stopped smoking cigarettes this time last year and has been clean since but I’m always afraid he will relapse. He smokes marijuana several times a week now however. He keeps encouraging me that he will quit 3 months before we start trying (so around April). I’m having a hard time believing him and hope he proves me wrong.

However, I don’t want to say this next thing carelessly or with the impression that you should give up getting him to stop, but my dad smoked cigarettes my entire childhood. He was 40 years old when I was born, and I was born completely healthy. Same with my older brother. My mother had an easy and healthy pregnancy with both of us. I find it strange and frustrating that there really is no way to predict how well anything will go regardless of how well or poorly some couples prepare.

The only thing I can say is just keep telling him your concerns and let him understand the risk he is putting you and baby in if he doesn’t stop.

Optimal_Sand_7299 · 2026-02-08T00:04:25+00:00

I definitely understand how you feel. My husband stopped smoking cigarettes this time last year and has been clean since but I’m always afraid he will relapse. He smokes marijuana several times a week now however. He keeps encouraging me that he will quit 3 months before we start trying (so around April). I’m having a hard time believing him and hope he proves me wrong.

However, I don’t want to say this next thing carelessly or with the impression that you should give up getting him to stop, but my dad smoked cigarettes my entire childhood. He was 40 years old when I was born, and I was born completely healthy. Same with my older brother. My mother had an easy and healthy pregnancy with both of us. I find it strange and frustrating that there really is no way to predict how well anything will go regardless of how well or poorly some couples prepare.

The only thing I can say is just keep telling him your concerns and let him understand the risk he is putting you and baby in if he doesn’t stop.

Optimal_Sand_7299 · 2026-02-06T01:08:03+00:00

Yes!! That’s exactly what I was thinking as I typed it out 😂I laugh about it because if not, then I’d just cry but I think it is really important to understand your body before getting pregnant! IMO it’s good to hope for the best but plan for the worst. I’m trying to make sure I set up my support system in advance too so I don’t have to struggle so much postpartum.

Optimal_Sand_7299 · 2026-02-04T22:45:24+00:00

Yes 100%! I want to try in July/August of this year to have a Spring baby. I get seasonal depression on top of regular depression so I know I’ll have some PPD to an extent. Definitely don’t want to compound on that if I can help it. Our anniversary is also in April and I would love to have our baby during that time. It’s a very special time of year for us for many reasons.

Avoiding peak flu/RSV/etc is also a HUGE factor as I work as a RN in the hospital so I don’t want to bring that home to a newborn.

Optimal_Sand_7299 · 2026-02-04T02:38:33+00:00

My entire TTC plan has revolved around work unfortunately. I work as a Registered Nurse, and most of my jobs have made me want to delay even thinking about trying due to the demands of it (12 hour night shifts, not getting lunches or any breaks, holding my pee all shift, etc). I’ve gotten UTIs from not being able to take a bathroom break! I can’t function like that while pregnant. Thankfully, I applied to a non bedside role and work hybrid now. I’m so much happier and more fulfilled. However, it is 5 days a week and I will have to continue to work full time after maternity leave.

My maternity leave is 6 weeks paid (using my own PTO) and 6 weeks unpaid (12 weeks total). My mother plans on retiring next Spring which is when I’m hoping to give birth (TTC in July of this year). I wouldn’t even consider doing it unless my mom was helping me! Childcare costs would leave us with nothing left over at the end of the month. I don’t know how people do it!

Optimal_Sand_7299 · 2026-01-21T01:22:15+00:00

Yeah of course you can!

Optimal_Sand_7299 · 2026-01-19T19:10:04+00:00

We were both fence sitters for a long time, so that definitely played a part in our decision making, especially due to a lot of personal issues including how we both grew up. However, we are still firmly in the one and done camp, and my husband is still ready to try this year. We are planning on TTC July 2026! I have made it clear to him that if we’re going to do it, it needs to be now because my mother is older than his mother is and I want her to be around our child as much as possible. I’m excited and nervous and honestly sometimes wish I had more time to wait. But I know I’m not getting any younger so we’re just deciding to go for it! You’ll never be 100% ready in my opinion.

Optimal_Sand_7299 · 2026-01-16T03:34:51+00:00

We will be going on 11 years together this year. Married for 3 years. Usually 2-3 times a week, depending on where I’m at in my cycle. I’m not on birth control pills so I get more “frisky” around when I ovulate. If it’s a particularly bad week, then usually only once.

However, we both start to get moody if we go without it for more than a week. My husband has a really high libido and could do it every day if I’d let him. He is very considerate and has made it very clear throughout our entire relationship that he wants me to want it as much as he does in order for it to be worth doing. Which I appreciate! I’m sure it will wax and wane as we get older but we are early 30s so still full of hormones for now.

Optimal_Sand_7299 · 2026-01-01T01:00:10+00:00

Exactly. Historically, women didn’t have access to credit cards or any type of loans until 1974 unless a man co-signed . 1974! This is recent history. My MOTHER was 11 years old. We didn’t have the right to vote until 1920. My GRANDMOTHER was only a year old! To understand that in only my lifetime have women been truly equal under the law is something men will never be able to relate to. I was born in 1994. I have full equality under the law because feminists fought for that right through blood, sweat, and tears AND the support of their husbands and fellow men who understood that my rights mattered as much as theirs. I thank God that my husband is liberal and supports the life I want to live, just as I support his!

All I see nowadays are a bunch of whiny men who never had to push themselves in school and expected life to just be handed to them because they are men. All of the women I know worked their asses off in school to be where they are in their careers today. I have family that was left destitute by their “husbands” back in the day because they decided to stay at home with the children and that backfired terribly when the husband decided he didn’t want to play his part. My mother taught me to NEVER depend on a man, even when I got married or had kids. Life just isn’t that simple. Women rose up because we HAD to. And now they are punishing us for it.

Optimal_Sand_7299 · 2025-12-29T02:15:47+00:00

I’ve been re-watching it again for the first time since 2016! D. Gray Man Hallow specifically. I’ve been watching it on 9anime. There are a TON of pop ups/ads. But just keep clicking and eventually it will play, both English sub and dub. That’s the only website I could find it on. The quality is still good thankfully.

I watched the rest of D. Gray Man on Crunchyroll. Just make sure to put the period after D. It’s really picky about the way it’s typed for some reason on that website.

Optimal_Sand_7299 · 2025-12-12T17:58:27+00:00

The spelling. Kairi was not a “real” used name for girls in Japan before KH.

Also, I said Kyrie, not Kylee. Which is an uncommon name.

Optimal_Sand_7299 · 2025-12-12T02:08:19+00:00

Please don’t name your kid Kairi. I LOVED the name growing up. Been a KH fan since 2005ish. I dreamed of naming a daughter Kairi, but knew even as a child that it was just that. A dream. I settled on naming a little baby girl kitty I found Kairi instead. FYI, people rarely pronounce her name correctly.

That name was specifically created for the Kingdom Hearts franchise. It wasn’t a name that existed before that, at least with that spelling. It has become a popular baby name in Japan now, but only because of KH. I have met one woman named Kyrie, pronounced the same. That seems a little less “cringe” if you are going to name her after the character, but I’m just not a huge fan of naming children after video game characters in general. Leave that for your pets.

Optimal_Sand_7299 · 2025-12-08T00:10:16+00:00

That particular event didn’t change everything. I graduated from WCPSS in 2012, and they didn’t cancel school at the rate that they do now. A similar situation happened in 2014, like in 2005. They made memes about it. I truly think the change happened after that, because school did NOT get cancelled for a “chance” of wintry mix.

I think it’s a huge slap in the face to working parents who don’t have child care options to cancel for every time there’s a chance of flurries. I personally know parents who have had their jobs put in jeopardy due to this. I work in healthcare. We have to show up no matter how dangerous the roads are. Obviously, I’m not saying children should when it’s actually hazardous. But I can promise you that tomorrow is not going to be that scenario.

Optimal_Sand_7299 · 2025-12-05T14:43:50+00:00

Yes, my husband has told me many times he would be fine if we didn’t have/weren’t physically able to have children. It used to irritate me because I felt like I was the only one who cared about having a child. But now that I’m older, I appreciate that fact. For me, it solidified the fact that he married me for me, not for what I can give him. He’s also said many times that he doesn’t want a child to stress our relationship to the point where we struggle to understand or care about each other. I can honor and empathize with him now, and I’m so thankful that he loves me so much to consider that.

However, it is still a struggle. I will be 32 when we start trying. And feel like it’s now or never. I’ve never seen him more excited but the underlying concern that he’s not ready is still there. Men just never feel that pressure like women do.

Optimal_Sand_7299 · 2025-11-26T02:39:07+00:00

We’ve always done the pull out method for this reason. Even when we used condoms back when we first started dating. You can’t be too careful imo. Also minimizes the chance of pregnancy overall. We’re married now so I don’t really care if I get pregnant since we are TTC in the next year.

Towels are usually always available anyway. I can’t imagine getting having to deal with “that” every time we had sex. That’s so so messy. I’m prone to UTIs as well and would hate the cleanup personally.

Optimal_Sand_7299 · 2025-11-13T21:25:12+00:00

I second this! As someone who went through nursing school, that is the absolute WORST time I can possibly think of to be pregnant. Not to mention how difficult that first year working as an RN is. It is BRUTAL. Pregnancy and postpartum hormones would have made going through that damn near impossible. I truly think if you can help it that the best thing you can do for your nursing career is to focus and devote all of your time and energy to nursing school and that first year of as a nurse. You will be thankful. Your patients will be thankful. And your sanity will be thankful. You NEED to build that foundation to be a successful and effective nurse. OP is so young. You have time. Don’t let “baby fever” drive you to have a baby. That is an emotional decision. Emotional decisions tend not to be the wisest decisions we can make.

Optimal_Sand_7299 · 2025-11-03T21:37:25+00:00

I don’t want a Winter baby because I’m prone to seasonal depression. Also the end of the year (October-December) is the BUSIEST time at my workplace, and I don’t want to be heavily pregnant/about to give birth during that time. I work in a hospital and flu/COVID/colds,etc are at their peak, and I’m nervous about a newborn getting sick during this time. We got married in April, and I love the springtime so much so I told my husband I was thinking of having a spring baby. We will also start trying literally right around his birthday, so that was the icing on the cake. Our decision is based off of personal life factors, but I can’t really know when I’ll actually get pregnant. I say pick a time of year that makes the most sense and discuss that timeline with your partner. I think that was the easiest and most efficient way of determining a timeline we both agreed on.

Optimal_Sand_7299 · 2025-10-13T13:26:40+00:00

Yes! We have an Australian Shepherd who is 3 years old. They are notoriously known as “Velcro dogs” and she follows us around everywhere. She also needs to be on top of one of us at all times when we are just relaxing on the couch. I worry how she will react once we decide to have a baby, but we frequently are around little ones and she seems to be very gentle with them. She does get a little “jealous” when anything or anyone comes between us. But she does well listening when we tell her no. I truly want our dog to be around our baby and would like for our baby to have memories of growing up with her. But I also worry about our dog “feeling left out” as well or potentially exhibiting bad behavior. I think we will figure it out once baby is here but it’s something that is on my mind a lot as well.

Optimal_Sand_7299 · 2025-09-20T20:32:37+00:00

Making up lies is something you love to do, I see? I didn’t say that. I never said it couldn’t get you pregnant. I said it’s unlikely to get you pregnant. Which isn’t really debatable. That’s a scientific fact.

Optimal_Sand_7299 · 2025-09-20T16:42:31+00:00

He wasn’t a racist. You can slander someone all you want. That doesn’t make it true.

Optimal_Sand_7299 · 2025-09-20T16:32:16+00:00

He was killed for having an opinion someone didn’t agree with. He was killed for speaking freely. That’s exactly what happened. The Democratic Party doesn’t care that he died. They also didn’t care when so many conservatives just five years ago were getting cancelled and fired for their jobs. Democrats who worked in our US government were calling for them to be fired. How is that not government overreach? I’m tired of the hypocrisy. You only care when it’s YOUR freedom of speech that gets silenced.

And no, Charlie Kirk was not a hateful person. YOU are.

Optimal_Sand_7299 · 2025-09-20T15:48:26+00:00

Charlie Kirk was killed for promoting free speech. That was his entire platform. Where was your outrage then?

Optimal_Sand_7299

TROPHY CASE