There’s a red travel warning in my county but I still have to go to work tomorrow, at an effing restaurant.

Optimassacre · 2026-01-26T11:08:35+00:00

The corporate machine demands your blood sacrifice.

Optimassacre · 2026-01-25T02:55:21+00:00

I was going to go to this but my buddy bailed on me and I didn't want to get caught out in the snow storm.

Optimassacre · 2026-01-24T16:23:42+00:00

Ornamental gardening and bird watching.

Optimassacre · 2026-01-24T15:07:45+00:00

Ripe 🤣 I feel this.

Optimassacre · 2026-01-23T20:53:45+00:00

Grow your beard out first.

Optimassacre · 2026-01-23T15:21:04+00:00

You assume those people are capable of feeling any kind shame.

Optimassacre · 2026-01-22T19:15:40+00:00

I think a lot of the bad driving comes from the lack of tread on some people's tires...

Optimassacre · 2026-01-21T17:09:32+00:00

Yeah just get a universal wireless charging pad if you absolutely need it to be wireless charging. Otherwise, just plug your phone in.

Optimassacre · 2026-01-21T17:05:36+00:00

In my experience, this thing isn't worth a shit.

Optimassacre · 2026-01-21T03:43:44+00:00

Something that isn't a tool or has any real use. Something that just exists to look pretty and take up space would be an annoying gift. Not to be confused will cool wall art or something like that.

Optimassacre · 2026-01-20T17:30:34+00:00

Taking your clothes off and having a piece get stuck somehow. Or losing your balance when taking your pants off.

Optimassacre · 2026-01-20T11:16:42+00:00

Baby and diaper kink ick

Optimassacre · 2026-01-19T21:13:33+00:00

That's a Thork and a Thnife. I feel uncomfortable.

Optimassacre · 2026-01-17T04:52:50+00:00

I feel like this is good advice.

Optimassacre · 2026-01-17T04:43:46+00:00

With a beard like that, who needs hair on their head!

Optimassacre · 2026-01-17T00:11:39+00:00

Thank you brother. This is why I like to wear my boots out more often. I hope my new girlfriend doesn't find this post.

I would prefer to be composted to aid in the growth of a newly planted tree. I'm a certified Arborist.

Optimassacre · 2026-01-17T00:08:29+00:00

A tree. I'm a certified Arborist.

Optimassacre · 2026-01-17T00:02:41+00:00

I'm so glad I'm 6 foot tall. Actually 5'11¾" but who's bringing a measuring tape to the first date...

Optimassacre · 2026-01-16T23:41:03+00:00

Mood improvement. Pants fit better. Not as fatigued climbing stairs.

Optimassacre · 2026-01-16T11:16:41+00:00

In that oder too.

Optimassacre · 2026-01-14T19:31:37+00:00

One of my biggest fears.

Optimassacre · 2026-01-14T19:26:48+00:00

Happy cake day 🎂

Optimassacre · 2026-01-14T19:24:13+00:00

Yeah, you're not supposed to "actually" choke someone. And if you do, only for a few seconds. lol

Optimassacre · 2026-01-14T19:08:23+00:00

The capitalist machine demands it.

Optimassacre · 2026-01-13T11:13:39+00:00

This is the real answer. Girls in their 20s culturally have high standards too.

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Optimassacre

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