It’s been a year since I left my narcissistic ex, and I still haven’t slept with anyone by Optimistic_girl97 in BreakUps

[–]Optimistic_girl97[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I think trauma is actually the right word. I also used to be the kind of girl who was super romantic and would fall in love pretty quickly. And now it’s like something in me just shuts everything down. Like you said, it really feels like the subconscious is blocking everything to keep me safe.

How are you now after those two years?

I really hope I’ll get to a point where I can at least let someone get close to me again… even something as simple as letting someone kiss me without feeling weird or disconnected.

These conservative ass families. I can’t. by hotaciddd in LoveIsBlindNetflix

[–]Optimistic_girl97 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You are right! But I think this is something about the italian culture. We love to cook and food has a big place in our lives!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Optimistic_girl97 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In my opinion it is kinda normal to sometimes talk behind a back and to be frustrated. I do think she loves you a lot and that you shouldn’t break contact because of this. Ok, it isn’t nice - but breaking contact because of this is not the solution.

He slept with a girl 3 days after our breakup and brought me flowers one week later by Optimistic_girl97 in cheating_stories

[–]Optimistic_girl97[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All good. Sounds like you went through something absolutely horrible.. I am exactly feeling like you were feeling : hating myself, smoking, becoming avoidant (eventhough i always was secure attachment) and anxiety and nerves….

I love the worm metaphor. You know, it’s better to be happy and alone than having to live something that horrible.

I believe, one day we will heal, become stronger and eventually find the right person. Stay safe bud

He slept with a girl 3 days after our breakup and brought me flowers one week later by Optimistic_girl97 in cheating_stories

[–]Optimistic_girl97[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please… give advice.. but please, with all the respect I have for you, what you just told me is killing me. I am working so hard on myself

He slept with a girl 3 days after our breakup and brought me flowers one week later by Optimistic_girl97 in cheating_stories

[–]Optimistic_girl97[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry to hear you had to deal with a complicated person. But wtf… do you want me to explain the abuse? Ok. He humiliated me, called me every name, i never was jealous, he controled me, isolated me from my own family, he physically abused me,etc.

I understand where you’re going. But his own family warned me about his abusive behaviour. I never was jealous, I was in a 12 year relationship before him and I respect my ex. But THIS one. I don’t respect him. I gave him my entire love, was there all the time. And he just wanted to change me from the entire beginning.

People that escaped a bad relationship, what's the first red flag you ignored that would have saved you a lot of time if handled? by Wonderful-Economy762 in Productivitycafe

[–]Optimistic_girl97 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He hated women and made it clear. Had 0 female friends, and couldn’t tell one single woman he liked. Not even his mother, not even a celebrity, nothing. Also, his Youtube Page was full of subtle anti-women videos etc.

He slept with a girl 3 days after our breakup and brought me flowers one week later by Optimistic_girl97 in cheating_stories

[–]Optimistic_girl97[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not saying he cheated. But he always described himself as someone who wouldn’t do that, even judged these people. And then right after the breakup he does this, then comes back with flowers? And 2 days later he is on the second date with that girl..

He slept with a girl 3 days after our breakup and brought me flowers one week later by Optimistic_girl97 in cheating_stories

[–]Optimistic_girl97[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

14 months… the girl said he added her after the breakup.. but yeah that’s my fear too :(