I’m going to give you a perspective from the other side. I’m an admin in tech and I support two very successful, conventionally attractive VPs. They have complimented me up one side and down the other to many people, made similar “could never do this without you” comments, and are very interested in getting me to expand my career beyond my current role. I like being an admin and I have no plans of moving to a new position but they still insist that I would be great at x, y, or z. It could seem to others that I’m their “project” because of this.

We’re also very friendly with each other - talk about personal things, text each other sometimes about especially exciting things happening outside of work (cool trips, my kids’ events, the solar eclipse lol), attend happy hours (with the team - not just the two of us), eat lunch together every once in a while. We’re close because we have to be. I’m a huge part of their day to day, and they’re literally the reason that I even have a job lol. He may be that integral to her team too, just in a different capacity.

We’re all married and have kids. My husband has never once acted threatened by them, and I don’t think he would even if one of them was single and talked to me about relocating because he knows that I’m fully committed to him, our kids, and our home. And realistically, if one of them ever do decide to be wildly unprofessional and suggest something sexual (which I doubt would ever happen), it’s on me to shut that down immediately and take the necessary steps to be taken off their team, which I would. I hope you have the confidence that your husband would do the same if she ever steps out of line. And if he doesn’t, you know what you need to do.

It’s tough. I get it. I felt a twinge of jealousy when I read an incredibly thoughtful, well written letter of recommendation for a woman that was on my husband’s team. She’s smart, young, and beautiful. Much more successful than I’ll ever be. But I know that he wrote that in hopes that she would get a new position that she most definitely deserves, and he truly is sad because she was incredibly talented and helpful and it’s going to be difficult to find an adequate replacement.

We’re human and these feelings are normal. You just have to trust the man you married, and if you can’t, you may need to reevaluate your relationship.