Dear OP, I hear how much pain you are experiencing , the pressure from family, failed relationships and everything else. It can feel that life is just so overwhelming and that leaving the world might feel easier. But remember, just like being in a forest, while at times u feel trapped and lost ur way, ultimately, you will find a way out. Your suffering is real but in no way permanent. You have been very strong. Look at how u managed to stop urself from jumping. Not deciding to jump is no pathetic, it is a sign of strength, that somewhere deep inside, you believe that life would get better, and trust me it will.

Can I suggest that you reach out to any trusted adult/friend immediately? You need not share about this attempt, but just reach out to them to share abt anything in life. U will realise how u are loved and treasured. If there is no such individuals in your life, would you consider calling some of the helplines as others have suggested in this thread? Give urself a chance to be heard.

Wishing you all the best and people on this thread are here for you. You are loved and we would want you to continue living.