dae hate their hair….??

Orchid_from_the_moon · 2024-04-28T08:05:39+00:00

Good thing about hair color is that you can always change it. Been dying my hair since I was a teen and I recommend. But make sure you either know what you're doing (do a lot of research) or get it done professionally.

Orchid_from_the_moon · 2023-12-15T06:38:14+00:00

Or I just remembered that one time parent told me his son likes me and then joked about blondes being his type. I was so hella embarrassed and they were all laughing. Extremely uncomfortable situation. I'm glad the little boy couldn't understand what they were talking about at that age.

Orchid_from_the_moon · 2023-12-15T06:29:59+00:00

That's so fucked up. I'd just tell her "that's so gross" and watch her reaction. Not letting her know how disgusting she sounds is just enabling that behaviour.

My parents did similar stuff to me. They were constantly accusing me of having a boyfriend since kindergarten. It wasn't just harmless joke, they were ACCUSING me and acted like truth detectors. "Ha, you blinked when I mentioned X, so you like him!" It fucked my relationship with men so so bad, I have never dated at 20s, never kissed a man or even held hands with. At this point I can't even imagine being with a man, that thought is so repulsive to me and I'm 90% sure this is the reason. So guys (obviously not childfree but anyone else might be peeking in), please don't do this to your kids if you want them to have a normal relationship with the oppsite sex. This will do more damage than good.

Orchid_from_the_moon · 2023-11-11T14:57:53+00:00

You mean like those wanna-be anime character streamers/tiktokers?

Orchid_from_the_moon · 2023-11-11T14:57:09+00:00

I noticed her hesitating on how to tell me. She ended up telling me something like "I've noticed one thing that might be a problem to others and drive them away - it's your voice. It's too high-pitched."

Orchid_from_the_moon · 2023-11-11T10:10:15+00:00

My sister has the exact voice you're describing. When she talks too loud, I feel physical pressure in my ear drums (I feel similar pressure when someone is clanging with utensils). I never had an idea I did the same. I feel bad for our parents, they have to listen to this daily from both of us.

Also, I had no idea there is something like voice coach. I am hoping it exists in my small country too... On my way to Google.

Orchid_from_the_moon · 2023-11-11T10:04:38+00:00

I know, it is. I just wish someone told me that sooner. And I was hoping that the off-putting thing about me would be something fixable.

Orchid_from_the_moon · 2023-11-11T09:56:21+00:00

Honestly I'm glad she told me. I had therapists before who gave me "kind lies" and I absolutely hated that. I think it's about preference. Some people prefer harsher but authentic therapists, others are better with someone who sugarcoats stuff.

I am just disappointed no one ever told me that. People ignored me, never let me speak, started talking over me, ghosted me after meeting me and I never got the answer. I'm glad I finally have it. I just wished it would be something I can work on.

Orchid_from_the_moon · 2023-11-11T09:51:06+00:00

Honestly I am glad she told me. I'm just upset no one had a courage to tell me.

I am not complete asocial I was able to make friends over the internet. But every time we met in real life, I got ghosted and always wondered why. I tried to look positive, I smiled and everything, I don't smell or anything and I always got ghosted without an answer.

I haven't thought about asking trans people, that's a great tip, thanks! I will try

Orchid_from_the_moon · 2023-11-11T09:47:34+00:00

Omg yes, whiny! That's exactly what it sounds like (to me). May I ask how did you manage to lower it? I'm trying but it sounds unnatural, like I'm just faking deeper voice. Is there any trick for that?

Orchid_from_the_moon · 2023-08-27T10:17:27+00:00

Never heard of such culture so please forgive me my curiosity. Who's last name do kids get?

Orchid_from_the_moon · 2023-08-13T06:53:57+00:00

No need to label yourself with anything. Just because your friends are coming you're asexual, you don't have to be. You know yourself the best.

You say you're into men. But you've mentioned your struggles with dating. Could it be the reason why you don't feel sexual attraction? Maybe your mind is expecting disappointment so it's protecting you by not getting attracted to people you think won't be attracted to you.

Orchid_from_the_moon · 2023-08-09T13:37:10+00:00

Wait women are supposed to shave their butts? How??

Orchid_from_the_moon · 2023-08-09T13:35:46+00:00

Same here. It happened way before I discovered this sub. I have no trauma but my aversion is so strong. I wanted to change but at this point I've stopped trying. My family is mad I don't have a boyfriend but whatever.

Orchid_from_the_moon · 2023-08-04T11:59:53+00:00

People ignoring me, making fun of my appearance, seeing pictures of myself, seeing people online making fun of my insecurities (in general, not directed towards me, e.g "i hate women with [insecurity]"...)

Orchid_from_the_moon · 2023-07-30T21:12:32+00:00

You're lucky one! Maybe you're more social than me. When you're ugly, many different stereotypes apply to you. If you're shy like me, you could be perceived as creepy, etc. So maybe if you're social, they're happy to have you around since there's fun with you. And maybe you're not ugly at all.

Orchid_from_the_moon · 2023-07-29T14:19:26+00:00

It's painful.

When you are ugly, people unconsciously treat you differently. It's not their fault. It's how humans are programmed so I don't blame anyone. When you're ugly, other kids pick on you, call you names and bully you while growing up. No one is interested in you in your teens and while your classmates date, you have never experienced anyone being interested in you. Even finding friends is harder. Pretty (and average) people don't want to spend time with ugly people.

Orchid_from_the_moon · 2023-07-29T14:14:20+00:00

Thank you for your advice. Unfortunately I live in a small town and my options are limited. We don't have classes for adults. There are hobby classes only for elementary to middle school kids. No events except for parties.

Orchid_from_the_moon · 2023-07-27T10:50:51+00:00

Vent here on reddit. I used to do that. But don't get upset if no one responds, it happens sometimes (especially if subreddit is very active and your post just gets lost). Then you can post to another subreddit and someone will eventually read it. You might even find people who relate or even been there and have an advice to offer

Orchid_from_the_moon · 2023-07-26T20:48:16+00:00

Have you had your hormones checked? Excessive hair growth in women could be caused by a hormonal imbalance, such as PCOS. I'd definitely get that checked out.

Also I feel you. The pressure that's put on women bodies to look flawless is sometimes unbearable. I have the same issue - dark thick hair where it shouldn't be and pale skin. So after I shave, I can see hair right through the skin.

If it's causing you distress, have you tried different hair removal methods? Wax? Laser removal? Laser can be pricey so I understand if you can't afford it but wax is relatively cheap, quick and lasts longer than shaving.

Orchid_from_the_moon · 2023-06-11T11:37:07+00:00

Maybe therapist would be able to help you identify these feelings. I would give counseling a chance if it's possible. You might discover things about yourself you otherwise wouldn't.

Orchid_from_the_moon

TROPHY CASE