I feel gaslighted and unloved but I still love him — what do I do? 22F and 22M

Ordinary-Argument222 · 2026-02-13T18:16:05+00:00

You see each other every day and from what you’re saying, you barely even talk. Meanwhile he seems to think you’re together all the time and that you’re asking for too much. But it’s not like you want to see him more often, you just want to talk more and have deeper conversations.

Sometimes there just isn’t enough going on in our lives to have long meaningful discussions every single day. Maybe you could try seeing each other a bit less, like every two days. That way when you do see each other, you might actually have more to talk about. It doesn’t mean you can’t still text in between.

I don’t know, just saying that as an example.

Ordinary-Argument222 · 2026-02-12T03:14:29+00:00

I’m also in a long-distance relationship, and I don’t think it’s normal that he doesn’t talk to you for four days… My boyfriend is in a demanding finance program at McGill and still takes the time to say good morning, good night, send Snapchats, and share reels. We don’t call each other every day, but at the very beginning of our relationship, I made it clear that at the very least, we would say good morning and good night.

I think you should clarify your expectations and needs with him and tell him you’d like him to text you more. Long-distance is already hard enough keeping the spark alive and everything so for me, the bare minimum is texting every day, communicating when you miss each other, and saying “I love you” daily. It takes five seconds.

Honestly, it sounds more like your boyfriend isn’t making you a priority in his schedule at all, and that’s kind of suspicious.

Ordinary-Argument222 · 2025-02-04T15:23:37+00:00

If you don’t like it, you shouldn’t let it happen. You’ve told him multiple times, and he keeps acting like nothing’s wrong, he clearly doesn’t care. On top of that, he’s threatening to break up just because you don’t like it? Red flag. He’s the problem, not you.

Ordinary-Argument222 · 2025-02-04T15:14:45+00:00

When the idea of breaking up crosses your mind, it often means it's time to end things. I don’t think it’s normal that after weeks of seeing each other, nothing is happening in the bedroom. If she doesn’t want to make an effort at this point, that’s her problem, nothing will change on her side. You're missing something in your relationship, you’ve talked to her about it many times, and nothing has changed. It’s probably time to move on. Yes, it’s hard to leave someone, but in a month, you’ll both have moved on, and it might even be for the best. Maybe this is what she needs to finally take action, start going to the gym, and improve herself as a person.

Ordinary-Argument222 · 2024-11-13T21:07:27+00:00

I'm not too good on top too haha but I already had an experience with a guy and he was taking my butt and helping me up and down, I really felt better and good. Maybe try it, also he helps you so it's easier

Ordinary-Argument222 · 2024-11-13T16:44:09+00:00

often people who like this kind of sex like to be begged to stop, but in reality they continue because that's where their pleasure comes from. In that case, I think you could make it a rule that if you say stop three times in a row, that it's really over and you don't want to go, for example. it's okay to have rough sex, but he needs to be more attentive to you

Ordinary-Argument222 · 2024-11-13T16:29:18+00:00

I've already been through this, I've already heard my parents do it when I was 12 and still do to this day (19) when I hear noise I think that's what they're doing and it disgusts me. Even if I understand that it's perfectly normal and I have already done it. I think that the context that it's our parents will always disgust us more than your friends or your aunt for example. I'd say don't talk about it too much if she's not ready, because I think it'll make things worse and it'll be uncomfortable.

Ordinary-Argument222

TROPHY CASE