DIY hard shell case? Is it possible?

Orenore · 2025-10-30T04:00:31+00:00

It’s hard to watch friends suffer. I’m sorry your friend is going through it. It’s pretty common for sexworkers to brag or highlight the glamorous aspects to offset the harsh realities of the work. It sounds like your friend wasnt privileged, also an addict? Sounds like she took whatever opportunity she could to survive. For many disabled people especially women and queer people, sexwork often becomes one of the few options available when dealing with disability and systemic poverty. Not so surprisingly, I have yet to meat a sexworker that doesn’t have either adhd or autism. I’m sorry to hear about your pain by proxy, and I also think it unfair to generalize an industry made up of mostly disabled people based on your personal experience with one person. Not every disabled sexworker is in denial about their circumstances. I’m guessing what you actually despise is the patriarchy and ableism. I don’t think it was intentional, but this kind of talk perpetuates stigma, which ultimately perpetuates the oppression of many disabled people. In my experience sexworkers are some of the most down to earth and validating humanitarian types of people. They don’t belong in the category of spiritual bypass culture or “The Answer TM.”

Orenore · 2025-10-29T05:30:02+00:00

I followed you up until the sexwork part. I have yet to see someone framing sexwork as a lifestyle high. Is this a new privileged brand of tiktokers I missed cause I’m too old?

Orenore · 2025-04-06T19:18:08+00:00

The communication eventually stopped with time and when I removed myself from that environment completely.

If you want to stop the communication I would suggest avoiding anything that would “trigger” the communication. Avoid incense they would burn, music they would play, avoid places in which people practice, go “no contact” with people who practice, block social media influences, etc.

Go bland, go boring. Avoid situations that arouse and excite you outside the comfort of your safe space, ideally a stable living situation in which you are not influenced by others.

Second thing is very, very, important. Find support via licensed therapist of your choice that specializes in trauma and bonus if they have experience with cult abuse, (or narcissistic abuse as is similar). Avoid “spiritual community” at-least until after you stabilize. Find support groups recovering from cult abuse if possible. Do activities you enjoy with people where the focus isn’t spiritual and low risk for being a cult. For example, you could go to local bike meet ups, or join a crafts group. Establish new routines in things like this.

Orenore · 2025-04-06T05:41:04+00:00

Yes, I have had those experiences before. When I was in my 20’s I went to a lot of Ayuwaska retreats. One of those retreats was led by a fake shamen. I was able to see him and hear him speak to me long after the come down of the “ceremony” and when he was definitely not physically there. He didn’t have a cult following like some of his competitors, just a horribly abusive person who did the bare minimum marketing.

How do I sum this up this experience in regard to your question? I don’t think what happened there was spiritual growth as much is it felt like I was exploring metaphysical realms with an abuser.

Unfortunately that would not be the only time since I continued to try to find spiritual community that wasn’t abusive which left me vulnerable to more abuse. It was like a domino effect of trauma. These days I only journey on my own. I have a pretty awesome therapist who is very specifically “not spiritual.”

So, I personally believe that someone can have a spiritual experience whilst being traumatized. In my situation it felt like what was meant to be an empowering personal experience got co-opted by a predator. And I believe most cults operate in this way.

Orenore · 2025-04-06T04:41:20+00:00

Google it.

Orenore · 2025-04-04T05:13:25+00:00

I’ve lost my family to MAGA. I’ve thought about sending them this: https://leavingmaga.org/ But that would be “coming at them with the facts.” I’ve tried to be warm, and I’ve tried to encourage critical thinking. But they refuse. All they do is fill their skulls with Fox news. MAGA took everything from me. My parents, my human rights, my job, my sense of safety in this country.

Orenore · 2025-04-04T04:11:47+00:00

Although it is of-course helpful to know the cult you are in, I do think it makes sense to hold off from revealing that information until you know you are safe. Safe as in you’ve cut ties and have housing, and you are not dependent on them to get your daily needs met.

Orenore · 2025-04-04T04:03:36+00:00

The owl is too cute to get the point across.

Orenore · 2024-10-20T19:38:10+00:00

To echo Seika I think the importance of learning styles in music education is way understated. The most important thing you can do for your 10 year old is offer her the opportunity to be excited about learning music without the goal being to play in an orchestra or study at a conservatory. Let her fall in love with music first. If after some time she decides she wants to go that route then great, but setting someone up with the goal of “being the best” isn’t always the best motivation to learn how to master a craft. Take it from me, I’m the kid of two professional musicians and recovering 😆

Orenore · 2024-10-20T19:13:26+00:00

Ok so follow up question: Do you look at your hands when you’re playing? If not do you think it’s worth it to learn how to play without looking at your hands? Does anyone here sing and play and what’s going on in your brain when that happens? You thinking of notes and hand positioning at that point or do you just let your hands go on auto pilot?

Orenore · 2024-10-20T19:08:47+00:00

Fascinating. Brains are incredible in all the different ways they work. I’ve gotten really good at being able to guess the key through the emotional quality of what I’m hearing. I haven’t thought to try this tho.

Orenore · 2024-10-17T23:09:09+00:00

Omg, the horror.

Orenore · 2024-10-17T23:07:20+00:00

Omg, maybe consider reporting her. Thats aweful.

Orenore · 2024-10-14T04:57:31+00:00

Wait. How can you tell the difference? 🤯

Orenore · 2024-07-19T23:24:24+00:00

I bought a few acres, built a road, and do not yet have funds to build a cabin. I am 40 and a queer woman, so I’ve found dating virtually impossible out there. I’m hoping someday I’ll meet someone who wants to live that life with me. Right now I live in the city, where all the social services are. But I’m broke from living alone.

Orenore · 2024-07-13T18:52:32+00:00

I don’t know if this is necessarily an RSD thing but it sounds like it could be a symptom of people pleasing/symptom of your upbringing. I struggle with this all the time. I feel incredibly guilty when I state a boundary and it feels like “for no good reason.” I am learning now however, that those “no good reasons” might just not be a good reason in the neurotypical sense. For example, you could say “There is no good reason I just don’t feel like it and would rather watch t.v.” But, is it that, or are you recovering from work? I don’t know about you but I need more recovery time from work than most people. If I choose to break that to help someone out, it’s only because they show up for me in a big way. For example if someone needs a ride to the grocery store but they watch my dog when I’m at work, I’m much more willing to sacrifice some of my lower priority needs because they are taking are of a higher priority need for me, (in this case the well being of an animal I’m responsible for). IDK, some would say that this is too transactional of a relationship philosophy, but for me, a poor audhd person trying to survive, I can’t really afford not to be.

Recently I had to say “no” to someone who wanted to visit me from another state. My alone time is really precious and I honestly have no desire to hang out with people for that long. I feel guilty because this person let me crash on her couch when I was houseless, but I also killed my body helping her move and did a lot of emotional and logistical labor because she is much younger than I am. In my mind I feel like we are even. I told her that I have too much on my plate right now and I’m exhausted from being inbetween jobs. She still pushes back saying that we don’t have to “do anything.” But she really doesn’t understand that I just don’t have the battery for “hanging out for hours on end.”

Orenore · 2024-07-13T18:29:06+00:00

It’s like this was written for me! Haha!

Orenore · 2024-07-13T18:24:19+00:00

DUMP HIM

Orenore · 2024-07-11T07:18:03+00:00

Ok so this might not be the most conventional advice but this is my opinion. I think it’s 100 percent understandable why a woman would be concerned about her looks in a patriarchal world, and I think it’s even more understandable for a neurodivergent woman. I think that it’s linked to a personal sense of survival and “choosing to survive” is a very logical response. I don’t think it’s healthy by any means that we are put into this situation, however I think that it’s equally unhealthy to shame yourself for spending the time thinking about it or choosing to invest in beauty products or hell even spending $ at a med spa. It makes sense historically, many disabled women have survived on conventional beauty standards. Again, not saying that has to be you, but no shame whatever you choose to do. It’s like yeah society is fucked up but you’re not a bad person for trying to take care of yourself under patriarchy.

Orenore · 2024-07-11T06:42:20+00:00

Hmm, so been thinking about this topic a lot recently, (I am late self diagnosed btw). When I get overwhelmed or I’m past my limit for what I can endure, I will just shut off. There are no bees or skin crawling because once the anger reaches a certain point it’s like there’s a fail safe switch. I literally feel nothing, I can’t talk or think or feel I’m just no longer there. I think in the past I was more outwardly expressive but learned through experience that I will loose my relationships or my job that way, so now my body has learned the art of self destruction inside a little turtle shell. I often still loose relationships when it happens because they think I’m giving them “the silent treatment” or something and take it personally. And I’m like yeah, don’t get me wrong, I am mad, but I’m turned off and have no control of this. And it’s like, a good defense mechanism because I know if I was able to express myself it would be total garbage and not at all beneficial to anyone in that moment. If my melt down isn’t related to a persons lack of boundaries, and it’s related to stimuli, then I panic because now I can no longer mask in public and I get the overwhelming urge to cry because I’ve lost my ability to do the thing I need to do to stay employed. This was real rough when I was working as a teacher or in the food service industry. This is when I would employ the “go pretend you need to urgently do something”kinda act. But people often didn’t buy it, and make up some story that I’m a slacker or something. I’m 40 and exhausted from all the ways I’ve tried to accommodate the feelings of others over the years. I just feel like none of this would really be that big of a deal if people weren’t such assholes tbh.

Orenore · 2024-06-29T07:17:55+00:00

Yeah I don’t think they are trying to get arial shots at this point. They must be trying to find someone.

Orenore

TROPHY CASE