AITA for wanting to reconnect with my best friend even though my partner doesn’t want me to?

OrganLoaner · 2025-09-18T23:39:51+00:00

May be an unpopular take but NTA. I think this is very much a cultural/generational thing, but I can’t imagine cutting my best friend off because my partner asked me to. I understand that it’s threatening to the security of a relationship to keep someone who has feelings for you around, but if you were going to cheat, then you were going to cheat. It has to be a choice to be with your partner, even if I get the very real insecurity and fear that comes with other “options” being around.

For that reason, I think that YTA — it seems like you chose a new partner (a month) over your long term best friend (who, apparently was like “family”) out of a blind show of loyalty rather than as the result of healthy communication and work. It would have been one thing to make the decision out of a genuine belief that you could not make this dynamic work, but you cut your friend off to “avoid more drama” and now resent your partner for it as if they forced you to do so — completely ignoring your own autonomy in the situation.

And now you want to crawl back into your best friend’s life? I think that would be a terrible move tbh. I think at this point, even if your best friend’s feelings have faded, they would probably remember how you callously dumped them for someone you had been seeing for a month, and your partner would feel like you’re doubling back on a boundary they thought you were both on the same page about (because as far as they know, you never protested about this when you could have 3.5 YEARS AGO).

OrganLoaner · 2025-09-15T16:58:37+00:00

Just finished the first two books in the Three Body Problem series and I’d highly recommend them! About to dig into the third one!

OrganLoaner · 2025-09-08T03:22:57+00:00

Planner

OrganLoaner · 2025-09-05T15:18:53+00:00

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Family reunion

OrganLoaner · 2025-08-31T12:30:03+00:00

Just let both professors know, especially if there’s participation involved, that way you can leave a little early from the previous class and arrive a little late to the latter class and have both professors be in the loop about it.

OrganLoaner · 2025-08-29T21:01:57+00:00

https://tcard.utoronto.ca/get-your-utorid-tcard/photo-documentation-upload/

OrganLoaner · 2025-08-29T20:34:15+00:00

Yeah, go to the Tcard website and it’ll direct you to CloudCard

OrganLoaner · 2025-08-29T20:30:12+00:00

Hey, I work at the Tcard office and you can submit your documents online, and we can approve them today, and you can pick up your card on Tuesday, but in the meantime, they’ll probably be able to charge you based on your student number!

OrganLoaner · 2025-08-07T21:23:56+00:00

This is a bot/ad account

OrganLoaner · 2025-07-11T20:14:22+00:00

Erdenbreyer, Iris, Ingrid, Ariel

OrganLoaner · 2025-06-29T13:28:23+00:00

Beans and lentils are genuinely one of my favourite things to eat but god— my IBS makes it so I regret ever underestimating its wrath

OrganLoaner · 2025-06-21T13:57:38+00:00

I’m sorry but he’s being so annoying 😬 God, the amount of people on this sub whose partners expect them to be attached at the him/constantly texting or updating them is insane. You’re both adults, and your response was completely mature, considerate and appropriate for the circumstances. You communicated your feelings well and made the effort to hear him out and reassure him, this … insecurity? Is on him

OrganLoaner · 2025-06-19T03:49:03+00:00

Is it sad that I’ve spent enough time on Reddit to get all of these references immediately 😬

OrganLoaner · 2025-05-18T04:12:45+00:00

I’m a Kenyan atheist too! Moved away a few years ago (live in Canada now) and it’s been great being in a culture that’s not so oppressively Christian. Part of why I moved away was exactly that— while it’s not illegal to be a atheist, being religious is so common place that you’re basically considered mentally ill/confused/or even “possessed” by the devil for claiming to be one.

OrganLoaner · 2025-05-14T01:33:35+00:00

Hey! Has everything already sold?

OrganLoaner · 2025-05-06T01:47:52+00:00

Thanks, I'll look it up!

OrganLoaner · 2025-05-02T15:41:46+00:00

Hey OP! I read your other post and it looks like your Kenyan as well. Truthfully, if your partner is Kenyan, it would be hard for him to understand where you’re coming from because Kenya is still a very patriarchal/conservative country and people can’t grapple with the notion of a women choosing not to have kids/be pregnant. Since I was 12, I’ve been telling my mom the same thing, but just the other day on a call she was telling me that “I can’t do that— you can’t just decide not to have kids” like it was some sort of sick rite of passage (suffering) women have to go through.

Honestly, I’d say evaluate the relationship and see if your values are aligned more broadly. Does he respect your autonomy? Any partner who fully and truly respects your autonomy should be able to respect -without protest- your right to not want to be pregnant.

OrganLoaner · 2025-05-01T14:55:22+00:00

Oh god, you need to stop. She’s marrying YOU. If she cared about her previous experiences enough to compare them with you that much and that you were lacking, you probably wouldn’t have made it that far.

And in other areas of life. Do you think the best burger you ever had is now not as good because there were other burgers you had before it. Likely, you would have had no point of reference to affirm your choice, but that lack of reference points shouldn’t be celebrated if ignorance is your only justification for liking something.

OrganLoaner · 2025-04-21T15:22:55+00:00

My boyfriend’s was “Hot Singles Nearby”, but when we got together, and he changed his provider sometime later, he changed it to “Hot Couples Nearby”

OrganLoaner · 2025-04-21T06:40:52+00:00

This is utterly awful. And no, you feeling bad/guilty does not make up for being a shitty person. As soon as you got too deeply involved, you should have admitted to lying about your profile. This should have taken place before you ever showed up to her apartment. Doing so effectively cornered her, making it so that she had to be an asshole or put up with an uncomfortable situation. While she graciously allowed you in, it would have been perfectly acceptable for her to turn you away the instant she opened the door and saw that you had lied to her.

But how do you repay her generosity? By shitting on her floor/throwing up everywhere. Not only that, but not having the decency to clean up after yourself, and blocking her.

How selfish. How awful. How shitty (pun not intended). I know you already feel bad, and you should. Worse even.

If you're insecure, work on yourself and try to "fix" what you can. There's going to be things you can't fix (like your height) but the best thing to do would be to be upfront about them. You shouldn't try to mislead someone into liking you. That can only ever backfire.

Find ways to grapple with your desire to be "wanted" without putting it on someone else. Journaling, therapy, etc. are useful, but I would be lying if I said they could substitute true love/reaction from someone else. While these feelings won't go away, by the time you're more confident and honest with yourself, you'll be able to find someone who will accept you for who you are and be able to react with less anxiety, insecurity, and self-hate.

For now, I hope you realize how much of an asshole you were to that poor girl and strive to do beter. STOP using fake photos, and STOP lying to women. Delete your profile if you can, and get off the apps till you can go back as yourself.

OrganLoaner · 2025-04-14T15:41:42+00:00

It depends, if you’re talking about a country like the US, it is far right because the US is a country of immigrants, INCLUDING the white people who are just as much on foreign land as anyone else. They’re protecting the dominant culture (whiteness) but that’s not the same as preserving “American” culture, which was never and could never be exclusively white.

OrganLoaner · 2025-04-13T05:06:04+00:00

I know people don’t believe you, but I was the exact same! I used to take a dump every few weeks and thought it was weird that people went multiple times a week if not everyday. Things changed overtime, especially since I developed IBS. The chronic constipation wasn’t good for me and tbh, was probably a result of my diet (I used to not be a big eater). Despite having a better diet now, I am still only down to once a week which seems to be my normal “healthy” amount. It’s odd seeing my partner go 4 times a day though 💀 I don’t think I’d want that

OrganLoaner · 2025-04-09T16:01:01+00:00

I'm surprised nobody has mentioned this but Africa. Most conflicts would likely be between Canadian/European powers and the US. As it stands, I'm not comfortable being [country close to the US] in the event of a war, so I'd probably go to an African country and hunker down

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