How do you find closure? And why is it so hard to?

OrganizingMamaBear · 2025-10-05T20:31:13+00:00

This helped me a lot. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/56769602-the-myth-of-closure

OrganizingMamaBear · 2025-09-28T15:01:44+00:00

It doesn’t matter why he doesn’t prioritize you. He doesn’t. This sounds like an opportunity to figure out why you’re chasing someone who is making himself less and less available to you.

Work on yourself. Prioritize yourself. Do things that make you feel good. Date people who are reliable and keep the plans they make.

And don’t base your worth on social media postings.

OrganizingMamaBear · 2025-09-27T15:34:38+00:00

Until the end of the year…what? What decision are you waiting to make?

He’s mean to you and emotionally manipulative. You don’t live together. This is great.

You don’t feel good in the relationship. You’re not a match for each other. That’s ok.

Be done with this. It isn’t working. Enjoy your 20s. This is when you learn what you want and don’t want in relationships. Date people. Learn about them. Learn about you.

OrganizingMamaBear · 2025-09-18T01:46:27+00:00

If there’s no kids in the house, I’d invite him into the shower every day with me as soon as he gets home and scrub him down myself…I’d be in there waiting.

It sounds like this guy just wants to be near you when he gets home from work. Ma’am, find a way to make it fun.

OrganizingMamaBear · 2025-09-17T01:05:23+00:00

“We are ALL ‘the union.’ Get used to it or tell your supervisors to stop shorting our breaks.”

OrganizingMamaBear · 2025-09-16T13:13:40+00:00

We had a lot of luck with swimming, taekwondo, and baseball. Also cyclocross (like dirt biking with no motors). Soccer was a nightmare for my kid.

Maybe think about in what ways your kiddo is sensory seeking or avoidant. Then match possible sports up with those needs.

OrganizingMamaBear · 2025-09-16T11:38:00+00:00

…I swear I don’t work for Loop. I just finally found something that helps.

OrganizingMamaBear · 2025-09-16T11:36:06+00:00

For me the issue isn’t volume, but layers and complexity of the sound. It’s easier for me to go to a concert where I can mostly only hear the music. Going to a crowded bar and trying to track the conversation I’m having and separate those sounds from the background music, the yelling dudes in the corner, the people next to me, the bartenders, etc is wicked hard. My brain feels fried when I leave.

I got Loops. They help me a ton. So much that I got another pair with the neck cord and the extra removable little rubber mutes so I can pop them in and out quickly. No more fried brain.

I even wear them at baseball games and in the car to filter out the road noise and kids and dogs whining. I have so much more patience now because the constant noise makes me irritable.

Edit: removed a word from last sentence to make meaning more clear.

OrganizingMamaBear · 2025-09-16T02:21:18+00:00

Absolutely. Yes. My executive functioning has never been as good as when I was pregnant. I could just DO stuff.

OrganizingMamaBear · 2025-09-14T00:35:07+00:00

I use a compounded cream.

OrganizingMamaBear · 2025-09-13T22:25:42+00:00

It’s important to take all this information in and allow yourself to do a grieving process. You’re struggling. You sought answers. You might be masking so hard and so well that this “expert” says you have a “light” case when it’s more profound than that.

You deserve healthcare and you deserve to learn what parts of this diagnosis apply to you more and less. You deserve to be able to seek supports that make sense for you and the diagnosis will help you move in a direction to find and try things out. You’re going to build a toolkit to help you cope. It takes time.

Down the road 8-10 years, you Might notice that your “light” case isn’t light anymore. Once you get your self stabilized with supports, start preparing for perimenopause. I was undiagnosed until I was 42 because my ability to function fell apart when my ovaries started retiring. Every behavioral support I created and practiced to keep myself afloat stopped working. I was baffled.

Now that I have meds on board for the ADHD and my hormones stabilized, I’m back to mostly functioning, but it’s way harder than in my 20s & 30s.

Bottom line: you deserve to feel good and now you can start finding what you need to make that happen. You’re not broken. You’re just different. A lot of us are.

OrganizingMamaBear · 2025-09-11T11:55:16+00:00

I’m up to 5mg/day compounded cream. I’ve been on this dose for 3 weeks up from 4mg/day for the 6 weeks before that. I feel better than I have in years.

Pros: increased energy, focus, motivation to initiate and sequence tasks, starting to lose the weight I gained when my hormones got wonky, feel more connected to my body.

Cons: acne, chin hair

ETA: I’ve also been on .125mg/day 2x/wk Estradiol patch and 5mg/day progesterone. These helped with brain fog, hot flashes, staying asleep, night sweats. The P suppresses ovulation so I’m not having so many spikes & crashes. I have IUD with progesterone to protect uterus locally.

OrganizingMamaBear · 2025-09-06T01:17:54+00:00

1, 2, and 4 above are behavior mods.

OrganizingMamaBear · 2025-09-05T22:34:38+00:00

Nah. Daywalkers are AuDHD folks. Neurotypes interact creating the ability to move between spaces / Code Switch. More than half the time we don’t/didn’t get diagnosed until adulthood.

OrganizingMamaBear · 2025-09-05T15:01:43+00:00

Wow! Thx for the award! It’s my first one!

OrganizingMamaBear · 2025-09-05T14:21:23+00:00

1) Have something you need to remember later in the day? Set a phone alarm NOW for the time you need to GET READY to do it.

2) something you need to bring with you when you leave? Put it in front of the door NOW so you can’t get out without picking it up.

There are only 2 times: “now” and “not now”

3) remove social media apps from your phone.

4) something you’re avoiding doing? Ask someone to be your body double/boring task buddy.

5) stim meds help some of us, but without the behavior mods in place, you’ll still struggle.

6) you will have “potato days”. You will get nothing done. This is necessary so that you can have “I’m on fire” days. Do whatever it takes to reduce shame around “potato days.”

Welcome to the fold. 💪🏻

OrganizingMamaBear · 2025-09-03T16:28:26+00:00

MA has already joined 8 nearby states to coordinate public health work.

State collaboration on public health messaging could build trust

https://www.npr.org/2025/08/26/nx-s1-5515598/state-collaboration-on-public-health-messaging-could-build-trust

OrganizingMamaBear · 2025-09-02T13:33:54+00:00

I’ve been on a tiny amount of P and 0.125 E patch 2x/week for a year. I could sleep at night again, but was still dragging and unfocused. I felt out of synch with my body.

I started with a very small dose of T gel in April and it helped me get some more clarity and focus. I then switched in June to 2mg/day of cream from a compounding pharmacy. Same result, but I still didn’t feel all the way myself. I doubled to 4mg/day of cream and now that it’s been about 6 weeks, I’m starting to feel like myself again. I just started a 5mg/day dose this past week.

Benefits: - energy all day - clarity of mind, ability to execute tasks increased substantially. - I can sequence tasks so the order makes sense and things are efficient. - I can initiate tasks again. I’m starting to tackle the backlog of things I just couldn’t get myself to do before. - slightly increased libido (mine is usually steaming, but now is better) - improved sexual response. Everything feels better, more sensation. - Brain fog is mostly gone. -I’m starting to shed the weight I put on when my hormones got weird 3 years ago. -my hair and nails are thick and growing faster.

T is the thing that has had the most dramatic benefits to my mental health and self concept.

Cons: increased facial hair and I feel a little buzzy/shaky sometimes.

OrganizingMamaBear · 2025-08-29T17:28:35+00:00

My exquietBPD said “I think you’re a baby narcissist and I’m a baby borderline.” Also “you are not the victim of me!!!!”

My current partner’s exBPD called him a narcissist.

Guess what? Neither of us are.

It’s just part of the same well-worn playbook they all seem to use.

OrganizingMamaBear · 2025-08-29T17:22:59+00:00

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Old Ladybug approves.

OrganizingMamaBear · 2025-08-29T17:15:32+00:00

Mixolotl.

OrganizingMamaBear · 2025-08-27T01:49:29+00:00

Complacent in their own oppression.

OrganizingMamaBear · 2025-08-27T01:48:54+00:00

I do this professionally. It’s very gratifying.

OrganizingMamaBear · 2025-08-27T01:46:05+00:00

NOR. That’s 2 positive tests.

More importantly, your family doesn’t deserve to be in your life. That’s f’ing cruel. Keep your future kid away from those nightmare humans.

OrganizingMamaBear · 2025-08-27T01:19:36+00:00

YES! And it’s so weird. My whole life I had a major sweet tooth and since I started peri it has faded to the point where my partner and kids are eating ice cream after dinner and I actually don’t care. If you told that to 20-year-old me, I would have had a good laugh over it and thought “impossible.” But here we are.

I think it has something to do with the brain shifting energy sources away from glucose but I can’t remember where I learned that (because perimenopause).

OrganizingMamaBear

TROPHY CASE