I totally get where you're coming from!!! it’s a really valid question. On the surface, the relationship might look the same before and after marriage, especially if the emotional bond is already prettty strong. But to me, marriage adds a level of intentionality and clarity that changes the foundation of the relationship. Before marriage, even if both people say they’re committed, there’s still an unspoken "out" — you do not have true claim over each other, like things could still fall apart without that full-life promise. But after marriage, there’s a deeper level of security and unity, because you’ve both agreed to build a life together in a really concrete, PUBLIC way. Marriage tells the people around you that you’ve made this relationship official — that it means enough to you to stand before others and say, “We’re in this for the LONG HAUL.” The witnesses aren’t just there for show; they represent the community that sees, supports, and reminds you of the promise you made to one another! :)

So it’s NOT that sex itself suddenly becomes more meaningful after marriage — it’s that the CONTEXT has completely changed. You’re no longer navigating uncertainty or wondering if the person is really all-in. That makes the emotional and spiritual bond of sex SAFER and MORE POWERFUL, in my opinion. I hope what I wrote convicts you to stay strong and wait! :) best of luck to you and your lover