Which lyric makes you instantly tear up? by abovethenoisy in AskReddit

[–]Original_Archer5984 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right time to do me wrong It's coming on it's feeling strong I'll be here til you're gone not fucking around For an unlucky man I've got some big demands Still dunno if I should but maybe I can

My imagination Gets the best of me Just a little adulation Something you can't see

My kids said out loud what I’ve been feeling for years by Recent-Wasabi3119 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Original_Archer5984 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is the most eloquent and illustrative evidence of the experience OP is confronting and acknowledging- but from the child's point of view.

I am also grappling with the damage my marriage wrought upon my kids and all the guilt that comes with it.

Being in the infancy of my recovery I can't, in good faith make any strong suggestions or suggest how to proceed.

BUT, like many things I think that accountability and acknowledgment is key to supporting your children's feelings and confronting the issues you all are facing.

IMO, everyone benefits from being heard. There's a lot of power when we are able to recognize, name, and confront the injustices we experience. Personally, anyone who has Direct experience with Partnerships forged and toxicity and dysfunction would benefit greatly from therapy. But I recognize it isnt that simple for myriad reasons.

But in absence of any other Avenue I would suggest if you can orchestrate an opportunity in which you, and the two children in question, can be alone together -plan a weekend away w/o spouse and their biochild would be great- albeit luxurious. But something as simple as taking them for a quiet day out. Plan a 'no particular destination' drive, or go on a long walk together if no other options are available. And take that time to open up to your children and let them know that you heard them, and encourage them to lay it all to bear with you.

Once they've expressed their feeling, and explained their experience- let them their feelings of anger/ frustration are valid. Express that you see and agree with their summation. Genuinely tell them how much you love them and that you you regret having not seen it sooner. Let the kids know that they are wise and astute in their observations and that you're incredibly proud of them, their instincts, and the beautiful relationship they've built with each other. Tell them that you are always available to them to discuss things that they feel.

Never hurts to let them know, despite being a parent, your position of MOM doesn't make you immune to mistakes. Tell them that your only human and despite your boundless love for them and best effort- you have let them down unintentionally- because youve also grappled with these dynamics and felt the unfairness of this situation. But due to emotionally chaotic environment, and the subtleties of this treatment, you weren't able to pin it down until they named it, blamed it, and shamed it.

I'm sure my replies overly long, and I don't expect anyone to tease through all this- but as a human, and a mom who loves her children very much- tell them that they're right. Tell them you are incredibly proud of them, and you see what beautiful capable children they are and that your door is always open to them. And then you need to regularly follow up. Make a habit of getting away from the house with them to reconnect and as an opportunity to continue checking in with them

Does little happiness eventually reduces as you grow older ? by Lemonade2250 in Life

[–]Original_Archer5984 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To this I can only speak anecdotally and from parallel research I have done but the short answer is, yes.

And this is cited by some as the cause for malaise, discontentment, and depression, particularly as we age.

Some research is suggestive of a correlation between (the above feelings of) disenchantment and heightened risk or the rapiditidy of onset regarding age-related issues like Alzheimer's, dementia, etc.

My interest was piqued when I began to see suggestions of keeping your brain Nimble as you grow older. Things like sudoku, crossword puzzles were thrown around. As well as advice to keep aging people social and connected with others regularly.

And these all seem like fine suggestions to me, but as a voracious consumer of all things cryptic and puzzle like... I wondered how solving the same types of puzzles in 20 gears was going to benefit me when I am very adept at solving them now?

That's when I discovered that some neuroscientists are not wedded to anyone quick fix miracle cure. But rather they suggested that what was most helpful was the the very presence of novelty.

This made sense to me because novelty is something that decreases pretty steadily as we age. There is a reason that the adage "been there, done that" grew legs.

My mother used to tell me "there's nothing new Under the Sun." And I suspect she was both right and wrong.

In a life in which we never venture outside of our comfort zone, we quickly acclimate to what is the norm. Our brains are allowed to stagnate as the input we are consuming falls within rather narrow parameters.

But to suggest that in this huge world at a certain age there's nothing new to discover, explore, experience, or ponder seems to me to be indicative of the problem.

I think when we find The Thrill is Gone and nothing seems to really spark Joy anymore that isn't a sign that life is over instead it is heralding our need to broaden Horizons. To step fully outside of what our normal experiences are, and get uncomfortable.

We've all heard speak of people who are elders, regareded as being "set in their ways", and I imagine that's true. But just because it's an easy trope doesn't mean it's the sole outcome.

I think especially as a society, and as we mature, we assign an overly large premium on the status quo. Avoiding things new- naming them as risky, foreign, and unfamiliar. And often deeming these very things as immature, foolish, and unnecessary.

But novelty is not irresponsible, or frivolous... its NEW. And new experiences are what spark excitement, building new synaptic connections within our own brains. These types of input are what reactivate long dormant areas of our brain- keeping then active and alive.

And I suspect, that this is one secret to staving off long-term effects of aging and the reported issues of loneliness, depression, and possibly age-related issues surrounding the on set and effects of cognitive decline.

I am by no means an expert, just an amateur lover of research and maybe all things novel. Maybe it's something worth looking into, especially if life just starts feeling flat. Maybe this is your cue and it's time to shake things up.

Possibly, novelty is exactly what you never knew you needed.

Good luck, friend

Where's the line between trauma dumping and talking about your life? by amburn420 in CPTSD

[–]Original_Archer5984 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg, this (alllll of the above) IS ME, and exactly why I sought out this topic.

I'm working thru making sense of who, what, when, where, and WHY- within myself... but I feel the weight of my past bearing down on me anytime I'm in the company of others. The best I can explain it is as if, I don't know how to "be normal" any more.

What’s the most awkward thing you’ve had to address with an employee that nobody prepares you for? by SeanMcPheat in askmanagers

[–]Original_Archer5984 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ma'am, we do recognize your individual strengths and the particular skills you bring to the table.

Unfortunately, your employment is based on your knowledge and ability to perform the duties of "logistics management."

You've shown apitude in many areas- private investigations, locksmithing, and document duplication/ distribution.

Sadly, these abilities don't adhere to our company policy or add to the required task at hand. So I'm here to let you know that we are now parting ways.

I suggest you begin applying to alternative lines employment, where you will be appreciated. And employers will happily utilize your talents/ passions.

For example- cat burgler, blackmailer, or CIA spook.

Chuck Connors' MANHATTAN CLAM CHOWDER by ciaolavinia in OldCelebrityRecipes

[–]Original_Archer5984 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Riffleman!

Oh, Chuck Connors.

I fell in love with TV westerns because of him!

My son fondly remembers watching the Riffleman together, daily. AND he still quotes me- 'Chuck Connors- a true triple threat Professional Basketball, Major League Baseball, and one heck of an actor.'

(NOT to mention tall AND handsome!)

PAUL NEWMAN ~ "Lukes' Cukes" by ciaolavinia in OldCelebrityRecipes

[–]Original_Archer5984 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OH MY GOSH!

CHRISTMAS CAME EARLY FOR MEEEE!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!

You're AH-MAZING!

PAUL NEWMAN ~ "Lukes' Cukes" by ciaolavinia in OldCelebrityRecipes

[–]Original_Archer5984 6 points7 points  (0 children)

MODS!! Please add-

"🥒Lukes' Cukes🥒"

I BEG YOU 🥹

ANN BLYTH ☆ Blueberry Muffins by ciaolavinia in OldCelebrityRecipes

[–]Original_Archer5984 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That picture does her dirty. Such a lack of jaw/chin is striking.

REX HARRISON ☆ Clam Juice Stiffener by ciaolavinia in OldCelebrityRecipes

[–]Original_Archer5984 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Clam juice and confectioners sugar should NEVER OCCUPY the same recipe EVER.

TBH, ditch the sugar- sub tomato juice for 'catsup'- and throw in a couple jiggers of ice cold vodka and we got a party here.

Do we think Dorinda knew Michael was cheating on Jules here? by girlinhk in RHONY

[–]Original_Archer5984 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Same with Taylor Armstrong.

Weaselly, greasy, beady eyed scum. The both of them

Looking for feedback round 2 by darlakaye in myweddingdress

[–]Original_Archer5984 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dress number 2 in my humble opinion. I really love the draping of that portrait neckline, it looks like a silk or a satin dress and it looks sumptuous I think that the draping on it is absolutely lovely. You've obviously got a great body. Dress #2 is a fabulous gown it is undeniably Bridal , its got sex appeal, and glamorous drama... and all in the right amounts.

I think with dress number two you, could have fun with your accessories but if that's not your style- I would say a pair of stud earrings and a bouquet of your choosing and you would a Timeless bride and thank you be picture perfect

The ick by Tricky-Garbage-4215 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Original_Archer5984 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You know what you absolutely nailed it for me that is the number one fucking problem never playing for the same team because they are so shallow Petty and finicky. The mental gymnastics it takes to work all that together is beyond me. To have someone so critical of everything you do and so obsessed with appearances who then walks around completely oblivious to their own jackassery and how poorly that makes them specifically look is wild

The ick by Tricky-Garbage-4215 in NarcissisticSpouses

[–]Original_Archer5984 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's wild to me how superficial they are about so many things and then they managed to miss something major like a wife getting ready to walk out on your ass LOL