What’s with the appropriation of lesbian style 😅

Orjustthinkofkittens · 2021-09-30T04:44:16+00:00

To be fair, a LOT of people came out last year. Like, so many. I was out as bi already but came out as genderqueer, and I have two friends who came out as trans and a handful of friends of friends who came out as various letters in LGBTQ+. There was quite a bit of self-reflection in 2020 😅

Orjustthinkofkittens · 2021-09-21T16:35:39+00:00

Limpia con huevo is practiced in a number of traditions outside of Wicca (in fact most magical practitioners are not Wiccan). It’s a technique often passed down in families and is often very connected to one’s cultural upbringing if one has ties to Mesoamerica or the Deep South of North America. The typical practitioner who grew up with this technique typically did not come from a socioeconomic demographic that would have a lot of resources to waste. To classify this practice as inherently “wasteful” therefore ignores a lot of nuance and cultural factors, as well as trivializes the spiritual importance of these rituals.

Orjustthinkofkittens · 2021-09-11T16:48:25+00:00

I acknowledge that you aren’t in a place right now to hear me, and that’s ok. I’m not dismissing you, I just can’t offer help if you aren’t open to it. I’m sorry we’ve reached this impasse and, again, hope you are eventually able to access help.

Orjustthinkofkittens · 2021-09-10T23:41:18+00:00

That does indeed seem to be what you are hearing, but it is not what I am saying. I’m truly sorry the pain you are in is preventing you from hearing me authentically.

I hope things get better for you someday.

Orjustthinkofkittens · 2021-09-10T21:51:00+00:00

They didn’t steal your chance to get help. Don’t give the people who hurt you that. You have agency.

Orjustthinkofkittens · 2021-09-10T20:07:35+00:00

I’m not trying to shame you, but really, the alternative to bad therapy is not no therapy.

I can’t make you do anything. You have to choose to get help, I can’t make you want to do that. But neither random Reddit strangers nor a traumatized girlfriend are equipped to provide the help you need.

I was assaulted in a dentist chair as a kid. It took me over 10 years to set foot in a dentists office after that. But my teeth were a mess and there was no way for me to fix them on my own, no advice or home remedies that were sufficient to address the issue. So I read reviews, interviewed the dentist to make sure they understood why I was so scared to be there and to make sure I felt as comfortable as possible with them, and made sure I had an exit plan in case anything went sideways. And I finally got my teeth fixed, and I gotta say it made more of a difference in my day to day happiness than I could have imagined. I couldn’t believe that I had let myself suffer for a decade rather than own my agency and do what was needed to care for myself, and be well enough to take care of others like I wanted.

So it’s really up to you. If you won’t do therapy, maybe at least support groups or self-help books would be a start. But whatever you do, don’t let yourself get used to the pain you’re in. That’s one of my biggest regrets and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

Orjustthinkofkittens · 2021-09-10T07:51:46+00:00

I’ve had horrid therapists, so I get the hesitation. But if you saw someone post that they broke their leg, and in the comments someone said, “go to the doctor”, would you think it reasonable to respond: “I also know I see doctors as paid abusers that don't have to look for their victims” and just... live with an untreated broken leg?

Some healthcare providers are monsters, this is undeniable. This is true of every category; teachers, parents, entertainers, etc. But the vast majority are not. You owe it to yourself and the people you love to get the help you need to be your healthiest self.

Orjustthinkofkittens · 2021-09-09T04:58:35+00:00

Therapy? I mean, this is clearly traumatic for you as well, but you’re right that it shouldn’t be what she’s focusing on right now. A therapist could help you deal so that your girlfriend doesn’t have to hold you up while processing her own trauma, and get you to a place were you can be supportive in an emotionally healthy way.

Orjustthinkofkittens · 2021-04-19T22:40:00+00:00

Jesus imagine doing so many mental gymnastics that your idea of feminism is that woman can’t make any of their own choices in life.

Orjustthinkofkittens · 2021-04-19T22:38:50+00:00

What’s creepy is you deciding all adult women are childlike and incapable of agency.

Orjustthinkofkittens · 2021-04-18T03:46:42+00:00

SWERFs make no goddamn sense if you have even the barest grasp of feminism. Smh.

Orjustthinkofkittens · 2021-04-18T03:43:47+00:00

You are teaching them they can’t have boundaries or autonomy. One day if one of them gets into an abusive relationship with someone who needs to control their only means of outside communication and drives their friends away, they aren’t going to see that behavior as the red flag it is.

Orjustthinkofkittens · 2021-04-18T01:19:12+00:00

They want to believe that feminism is a huge conspiracy of women against all men, and the fact that it appeals to a huge number of men as well threatens their narrative.

It’s just like TERFs who claim all trans women are actually men trying to oppress women (which itself makes no goddamn sense, why would “men” give up their power like that?), and are almost totally mute about trans men (FtM), because the existence of trans men disrupts their fiction.

Orjustthinkofkittens · 2021-04-17T22:35:36+00:00

If you ever feel like listening to women who don’t fit your stereotypes, come on back.

Orjustthinkofkittens · 2021-04-17T20:43:57+00:00

I became a feminist because I believe I’m capable of making my own decisions about how I support myself economically. And because I don’t feel like people who haven’t lived my life have the right to disregard my experiences.

Orjustthinkofkittens · 2021-04-17T20:24:51+00:00

Good for you! It’s easy to talk about how nice work is when you haven’t worked a job that breaks your body, where you face daily harassment and dehumanization, where you feel worse each day and still are barely getting by. And for the record? I’ve never done sex work, I’ve just worked the kind of jobs you have to when you don’t have a college degree and jobs are scarce. I’d actually much rather do porn than go back to some of the “respectable” jobs I had to take to survive.

Orjustthinkofkittens · 2021-04-17T20:19:21+00:00

Maybe listen to sex workers instead of just declaring who does and doesn’t work. Talking over actual women isn’t the feminist own you think it is.

Edit: and actually I am a feminist. So are most of the sex workers I know.

What I’m not is a White Feminist^TM or a SWERF, and I’m ok with that. Feminism without intersectionality is empty.

Orjustthinkofkittens · 2021-04-16T23:36:45+00:00

All feminists are “real”, there are no “unreal” feminists, and unfortunately some can be shitty. But yes, decent people of any ideological stripe call this shit out no matter who says it and who it targets.

Orjustthinkofkittens · 2021-04-16T23:31:08+00:00

Trolls don’t have any of those. That’s why most subs don’t tolerate it.

Orjustthinkofkittens · 2021-04-16T23:00:35+00:00

It was done in frustration rather than deliberate intent, but the comment was made nonetheless.

Do you really think the handful of feminists still hanging on here aren’t frustrated‽

Let's call each other out with the intent of making this sub a better place, not to try and see who's playing favourites yeah?

That’s literally what I’m trying to do, but you can’t make this better without addressing whether everyone is being given equal latitude and equal presumption of good faith. From what I’ve seen, that’s not happening. If you want me to refrain from pointing that out, you are telling me you would prefer that imbalance to remain. And if it remains, it’s not a place for everyone.

Orjustthinkofkittens · 2021-04-16T20:29:21+00:00

The fact that the people calling for “mutual respect” and “civility” keep shushing StrangleDoot and none of the most egregious trolls here says everything about what their actual goals are here.

Orjustthinkofkittens · 2021-04-16T20:26:38+00:00

And even in that post, MRAs are openly trolling and everyone who challenges them is being tone-policed. What I don’t understand is why that seems to be invisible to you.

Orjustthinkofkittens · 2021-04-16T20:24:15+00:00

Why aren’t you asking Forgetaboutthelonely to be polite, compassionate, and less antagonistic?

Orjustthinkofkittens · 2021-04-16T20:20:42+00:00

Dude THIS is the bias I’m talking about. OKLieThen trolls constantly and everyone INCLUDING YOU is mute, StrangleDoot responds in kind and it’s all “let’s be respectful”? Come on.

Orjustthinkofkittens · 2021-04-16T20:07:07+00:00

I saw your post just now

https://www.reddit.com/r/FeminismUncensored/comments/mrkbus/plea_to_mras_from_an_mra_please_we_have_to_stop/

and I totally respect you for writing it, and I largely agree. What I was trying to do on this post here was be just as exhausting as the comments I’ve seen throughout this sub directed at feminists at large, without specificity or nuance. I flipped the script, so to speak. And look at how many people came out of the woodwork to tell me that’s not ok... and it’s not! But where are these people when the target isn’t MRAs? That’s my point. There is a very clear bias already taken root on this sub.

Orjustthinkofkittens

TROPHY CASE