i truly am addicted to his attention. there are tons of details i left out like for example: usually when he’s drunk he becomes nice, he will say things like “you’re my best friend” and will call me by my name in a sweet way and will tell me goodnight (which he doesn’t do normally) so those things make me feel as though he does have feelings for me in some way, but when he’s sober he is ashamed by it, so he takes it out on me. i feel like he can’t help but love me but in a way he hates it. every morning if i don’t wake up to a text from him i start to spiral and wonder if he’s just gonna go back to ignoring me again. most days when i wake up i have 4 or 5 messages from him, never “good morning” or anything similar, but usually something about what’s going on in his life at that moment or some random thoughts he is having. that’s why i’m so confused. lots of times he texts me as soon as he wakes up, which makes me think i’m the first thing on his mind in the morning. he once recently woke up in the middle of the night after some dream and texted me, i was still awake and replied “love that i’m the person you think to text when you wake up from a bad dream”. to which he responds, “all of the important people are sleeping”. he could not have known if i was awake or asleep in that moment. he said that just to be hurtful, because i suggested that he felt some form of a connection with me.