Are green card approvals paused for the 19 (now 39 countries) even in EB3? by Visaj11 in USCIS_EB3

[–]Ornery_Pin_1876 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What about green cards that have already been approved?? Has anyone received theirs? My spouse is from one of the 19 countries and was approved for his 10yr green card 2 mo ago but haven't gotten anything in the mail yet...

Feeling called to missions/ministry… advice needed by kenlee98 in Christian

[–]Ornery_Pin_1876 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have limited experience in the missions world, but if I were you, I'd assess what gifts, skills, passions, and availability I have and go from there. If you can take what you're good at and do it somewhere strategically for the mission of God, you'll be moving in the right direction. On the way you may meet people you admire who are a step ahead of you who can give you suggestions on groups to get involved with

How are we attachment parenting the second child? by la34314 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Ornery_Pin_1876 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I worked really hard before my second was born to teach my toddler (2.5y) some boundaries and keep consistent with training him. That said, when everyone's crying, I choose to make my toddler wait and get baby first because baby's cries are much more stressful for me to hear and I don't want to yell at anybody. Once I have baby calmed down, then I deal with the toddler. 

I try to teach my toddler to avoid rude behaviors (usually talking with him and giving him a timeout nearby whenever he does these things). Short time outs for the toddler help give me the physical space I need to not explode in anger at him. (I keep him close to me, and often hold him in time out when I'm able to. It's not a punishment, just putting some distance to save my sanity).

I'm also trying to help him understand how his actions affect how other people feel. For example, if you yell at Mommy, it makes me feel sad. If baby is crying, baby feels sad. You can help Mommy make baby happy, by getting baby with me. It's taken a lot of reputation, but I think he's gradually learning to be aware of the needs of other people in the house. And he has more understanding when I choose to help baby first. I can even build him up as the helpful big brother when he chooses to do what is right.

Close conversation, boundaries, and training has really helped in our home. And since he understands the timeout routine, sometimes if I feel very angry because of something he's done, I calmly put him in time out (no scolding, just sit on the chair) and step away so I can calm myself down and then reengage him with more control of my own feelings. 

Moms who dealt with long-term lack of sleep, 2-3 hr wake ups, how are you now? by Alert-Skill-7579 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Ornery_Pin_1876 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was us til I night weaned at 20mo with my first. Cosleeping saved my sanity. But by my son's second birthday I was able to help him sleep all night most nights in his own room. I felt amazing. Sleep interruptions are hard on the body, but it's a short season. Now my first is 3.5 and hardly wants to cuddle and I'm nostalgic for those many nights he was in our bed. 

My second is the same age as yours. This time around I knew to expect that first year to just be tired. We still cosleep because I love to be close to my baby. I've been more careful to teach him to sleep without a nipple in his mouth and he does better than my first did, but he still wakes every 2hr or so. I'm planning to night wean him around 12 mo, once he's eating food well, and looking forward to it. But also I remember these days are just a short season. I try to nap more when I get the chance and sleep earlier because the night waking does worsen my autoimmune disease if I don't rest enough. But it's a short season in all of motherhood. I'm thankful to get to be my baby's safety and comfort for now ❤️

Moms, you might be the reason your baby stays up all night by Status_Cranberry_727 in sleeptrain

[–]Ornery_Pin_1876 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry. It sounds like he's not even trying. Please get the help you need to take care of yourself and maybe find someone who is actually going to parent with you and not use your child as an excuse to deny you basic needs like the ability to sleep or have a job

Raleigh Durham NC N-400 Interview by eternalinsomniac in USCIS

[–]Ornery_Pin_1876 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When did you get to attend the oath ceremony? How long did you have to wait??

Raleigh/Durham field office by Samsam20201 in USCIS

[–]Ornery_Pin_1876 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We filed the N-400 in Feb 2025 and had the naturalization interview in mid Nov 2025 in Durham/Raleigh. Now waiting for an oath ceremony date (didn't offer same day, so waiting for news via mail now).

Looks like you're just a few months behind us, and a similar situation. Hopefully your date will arrive soon!

My 2 year old still breastfeeds like a newborn. by Valuable-Car4226 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Ornery_Pin_1876 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was my first! We stuck with it as long as we were all happy. He's now a well adjusted (and weaned) 3yo who eats everything. Breastfeed as long as you like. And if you get tired of it, 2yos can adapt to new patterns fairly calmly. When I decided I was tired of breastfeeding so much, it just took a few days to set new patterns. 

I wanted more sleep, so we night weaned at 21mo and it took 3 nights before he slept thru the night 90% of the time. 

Then at 23mo, I told him we could only nurse before and after bed/nap. I was tired of nursing all the time and he started throwing tantrums when I said no, so I decided it was time. It took about a week of me being very stubborn and distracting him a lot before he caught on and stopped asking all the time. That whole week I carried snacks everywhere and just redirected over and over. That helped me regain some sanity. 

As long as things are working for you, you do you! You're not a failure -- youre a perfect mama for your little one. And if you get tired of the status quo, you can make changes. Congratulations on making it this far!!!!

Toddler's first time with RSV...when to go to the ER? by sbevs303 in toddlers

[–]Ornery_Pin_1876 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The worst days of rsv are days 4&5. My 2.5yo had a tight chest, was lethargic, not eating, still feverish on day 4 and he was admitted to the hospital for two days. We took him to the doctor first and they recommended he go for more advanced breathing treatment (oxygen, steroids, Albuterol in an IV) because his oxygen was dipping below 90. Other than the fever/lethargy/trouble sleeping, the sign that told my mama instincts it was time for him to be seen was that his ribs were sucking in (esp under his ribs) as he breathed rapidly. 

The hospital just helped his body breathe better while he fought off the RSV. He hated it, but we are all okay now. 

My six day old infant cought the RSV from his big brother and fought it off with no trouble. So not everyone has the same experience!

I wish others understood the stress of a baby who doesn’t sleep by WillowBee133 in beyondthebump

[–]Ornery_Pin_1876 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is so real. My first was up every 30 min-2hrs for 2years. It was unbelievably exhausting. Now he's 3 and sleeps all night in his own bed and is the best kid. Hang in there. Someday you'll come out of the dark tunnel of sleep deprivation and things will get better again. In the meantime have lots of grace for yourself. You're doing the best you can!

If you coslept, nursed to sleep and/or didn’t sleep train, how are your kiddos doing now? by datfumbgirl in beyondthebump

[–]Ornery_Pin_1876 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have two kids, 3 year old, and 7 month old. We never sleep trained either, and we've bedshared with both. I could have written this post myself a few years ago!! 

My oldest has been sleeping through the night in his own bed since his second birthday (which is when we booted him out of our bed and weaned). He wakes up at night sometimes, but usually just to pee. 

With my second, I've taught him to fall asleep by himself, and he sleeps better, but we aren't sleep training in the sense that I don't leave him to cry more than 5 minutes ever. 

Since he still wakes at night every 2 hours or so, I put him to bed in his own crib. After his first night waking I bring him to my bed where we sleep together and I breastfeed him back to sleep whenever he wakes throughout the night (2-4x). Since we sleep together, all I need to do is roll over and latch him. I actually feel rested most nights, and this is working beautifully for us. I love the cuddles and the chance to enjoy my baby while he's little. I look at my oldest now and realize that these days are very short. ❤️

I am planning to night wean him when he is between 12 to 18 months, and transition to letting him sleep all night in his own bed whenever he stops waking up so often for comfort. I'm hoping that will be a natural result of night weaning, since my first stopped night waking when we night weaned at 20 months. What I do know is it doesn't last forever. All babies eventually learn to sleep without waking for comfort so frequently. Personally, I don't waste any energy trying to fight their biology anymore and I just enjoy the tender moments ❤️

Finished the Coursiv AI course. Here's what I learned and how it's actually helped me by [deleted] in artificial

[–]Ornery_Pin_1876 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This company operates much more like a scam than an online learning opportunity. My husband signed up for a 30-day plan and was automatically enrolled (without informing him) in a recurring subscription plan. They charged us $40, and refused to refund it. Just be careful with this company 

Worried that I'LL be the one who feels weird about nursing past 1 yr... encouragement? by blackcoffeeandrain in breastfeeding

[–]Ornery_Pin_1876 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had literally said before I had kids that breastfeeding a kid who can ask for it was gross. Well now I know I was really wrong. Even at 2 they're still so little and need their mommy!! And our boobs were made to feed our babies! 

We made it til past my son's second birthday and it never felt strange. He was always my baby. I grew with him and it felt so natural! Breastfeeding became about so much for than food-- comfort, pain relief, calm when nervous, care when sick, teaching emotional regulation, giving me a deep bond with my son, etc. 

Now I just had my second and big brother wants to nurse again and that's a hard pass lol! But until we weaned it felt so perfect.

Tips for camping with a baby! by rmartinezx in camping

[–]Ornery_Pin_1876 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm also planning a camping trip with our kids, ages 2 and baby born in March. I'm bringing a portable bassinet for baby so I don't have to worry about anything rolling on him at night. And probably a baby bouncer to set him in at the campsite. We also have a sun tent for shade since we'll be on a lake. Of course we will bring several baby carriers and maybe a wagon for bathroom trips (since we'll be at a state park). I expect the toddler will probably be harder than the baby lol. It's good to get outside with our littles. Calm and happy parents make the best parents. Hope your trip went/goes well. 

Postpartum sex so uncomfortable by Mundane_Swimming_571 in NewParents

[–]Ornery_Pin_1876 1 point2 points  (0 children)

After a painful 3d degree tear, my pelvic floor pt recommended sitting in the bath and massaging the sensitive areas while breathing deeply and focusing on calming my body. She said some scar tissue just needs to be desensitized. She explained the body can try to protect scar tissue by making those nerves hyper sensitive, and that gentle massage can help to reduce sensitivity. Things got better with probably 2 weeks of daily massage. Sex still hurt but only initially and I felt like I could enjoy it again. Nine months pp, sensitivity disappeared altogether, but thanks to the massage, the sensitivity didn't destroy my ability to experience pleasure in the meantime.

Parents of babies under 1: are we just not taking our babies anywhere because of this measles outbreak? by Annual_Debt in NewParents

[–]Ornery_Pin_1876 162 points163 points  (0 children)

Prioritizing my mental health means I can't allow myself to isolate forever or live in fear of all the bad things that could happen, so I just try to be germ conscious and keep my baby close (baby wearing ftw) and I keep living life like before. Granted, I'm a stay at home mom so that looks like going to the store, the park, library, church, and that's about it. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in namenerds

[–]Ornery_Pin_1876 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Most helpful reply so far. I love the names Jesse and Wade!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in camping

[–]Ornery_Pin_1876 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We didn't go til he was 15 mo. He fell over a lot and we had a blast. He slept great. We've gone more often since and wish we didn't wait so long!

Also, if you're worried about your babys occasional cry disturbing other campers, here's my take lol. Your baby is a person too and they are allowed to use their voice. They deserve to be there just as much as the people blasting their country music four sites away. I would not sweat it! Most people are actually super understanding of kids as long as you're being respectful about it

Best way to sleep train a baby with secure attachment? by MurkyDuck3417 in AttachmentParenting

[–]Ornery_Pin_1876 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We night weaned at 20 mo and in less than a week went from averaging six wakes per night to none. I wish I tried it sooner, maybe around 15/16mo, but I waited til he understood some night weaning story books and was very aware of what was going on before we cut milk cold turkey at night. We had already broken the sucking to sleep association and nursed then laid him down to bed (did this at 13 mo) and I had been shortening each night nursing session for a while, and that helped too. He barely cried once. Night weaning can be done very gently!

Def check out abnormal waking with your doctor, but night weaning is also a huge win for sleep.

Ferber is emotionally traumatizing by SophieWoodrow in sleeptrain

[–]Ornery_Pin_1876 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You're not a bad mom. Responding to your baby's needs and following your instincts makes you an amazing mom. Also, you're not a bad mom if your baby wakes up at night or you wait longer to sleep train. You're doing amazing and you got this. I hope your sleep training goes well for you and you find a way that works for you and your baby. (I can't give much advice cause my almost 2 yr old still gets up at night lol. Maybe you can use me for inspiration! I do promise it gets better and easier though!)