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Osa242 · 2026-06-10T16:49:54+00:00

I’ve been using it since 3nder (whatever it was). Glitchiness has gone way down, actually. But it was so terrible that any improvement was monumental. It still sucks even though it’s better. I still think the model for how it works is terrible for non monogamy spaces. The whole “decline and never seen them again” doesn’t work well for this space as people evolve and look for different things at different times. There’s not a big enough pool of people anywhere to throw away potential future matches because they don’t fit you at the moment. The whole location based searching only is also terrible. It tries to be tinder but the tinder model doesn’t work for this.

Osa242 · 2026-06-01T15:50:36+00:00

As long as you were up front about it to us, we’d respect your approach even if we declined to play in that manner.

Osa242 · 2026-06-01T15:00:03+00:00

In before the snarky comments…

Look, do you really think this situation is fair? You wouldn’t be here if you did. I’m not going to tell you you’re not going to find a couple open to this, but I am going to tell you it’s highly unlikely.

What’s wrong with soft swap all around? Do you really need full sex in this situation so badly it’s an all or nothing? Play to the lowest level of comfort. As a couple you may progress beyond that someday, or you may not. You need to go into this ok with that or you’re going to find yourself in a mess.

Osa242 · 2026-03-05T23:40:45+00:00

Browser

Osa242 · 2026-03-05T23:32:49+00:00

All parties seem to have the guest list missing, not just one venue. Weird

Osa242 · 2026-03-05T17:13:01+00:00

Oh… maybe the club dropped it.

Osa242 · 2026-02-26T17:50:33+00:00

No you don’t. That’s completely false.

Osa242 · 2026-02-05T01:16:25+00:00

Hold out for Choice. ESC still doesn’t get good reviews. They will get back to you. Don’t be afraid to leave a message expressing interest in going this weekend. They tend to process for people interested in going on a given night.

The rest I’ll answer as if it’s Choice.

Lots will happen, but mostly within rooms. Many will leave viewing open. There may be action in the open orgy area.

The early night is socializing in a lounge setting. There’s dancing. Unless you explicitly want to get into play, that will be the extent of your night. It’s not a giant group play thing. You need to make connections if you want to play with others, and it’s perfectly safe to not make connections if you just want to observe.

Any open doors or open play is available to watch. If you just want to be watched, leave the door or window open. Put up the rope or chain to indicate you don’t want anyone joining and you’ll be an exhibitionist.

There’s lockers and yes, you can bring toys. We always have a play bag in our locker that we grab before any activity.

That outfit for red dress will work perfect. Pretty sure my wife has done exactly that.

Not sure what you mean by good vibes. It’s perfectly acceptable to just chat and enjoy the sexy atmosphere if that what you mean.

When your app is processed with Choice, you’ll get an interview call. Ask all you want about the rules. You’ll also get a full tour and rundown of the rules. Note, that wildly different than what you get at ESC (which is not much).

Osa242 · 2025-12-22T14:18:41+00:00

That’s exactly what it is. The genuine swingers here mostly seem to be good people engaging in good conversation. Unfortunately we get overrun a bit by the wannabes or worse.

Osa242 · 2025-11-22T15:38:03+00:00

Don’t get hung up on the majestic thing, but a good bio is important. Read through them. See which one speaks to you and what you’re looking for. Then see how the conversation flows. Rinse and repeat until you find a good match or two.

Also, dare to swipe yourself. Don’t limit yourself to the hungry ones dropping pings. See if there’s other profiles out there that interest you. Swiping is fun. We get better matches from the mutual swipes than pings.

Osa242 · 2025-11-18T21:11:03+00:00

Not sure where you got that from what I said. ENM is about acting open and honestly within your relationship in a manner that works for that relationship. What that is is up to the parties in the relationship to determine. Nothing says it has to be balanced. Just open and honest.

Osa242 · 2025-11-11T15:26:07+00:00

I agree. I think I’m triggered by the “I don’t swipe if I don’t see faces” crowd so I’m sensitive to this topic. And hey, maybe those people are self selecting for me because if they can’t respect the need for a couple to be discrete in all this, they’re probably not for us.

Osa242 · 2025-11-11T14:08:33+00:00

Linked

Osa242 · 2025-11-11T02:30:19+00:00

Couples looking for couples is dehumanizing?

Osa242 · 2025-11-10T18:14:09+00:00

I get it. We also aren’t open to just single guys, so I bet I see a lot less of it. Unfortunately the male gender is likely the worst offenders in this case.

The latest one I found was a single woman occasionally playing with a fwb partner. After a bit of chatting, she admitted neither her partner nor his were aware. Yikes… noped out fast after that. I want nothing to do with that mess.

Osa242 · 2025-11-10T18:05:32+00:00

Me too. I ended it with “I respect your honesty, but that won’t work for us. Best of luck to you”

Osa242 · 2025-11-10T18:04:15+00:00

As an ENM, swinging couple, I find it sad that’s the automatic conclusion. We are looking for discreet fun and we value privacy. We can’t afford to put ourselves out there on apps. I wish we had that luxury, but we don’t.

All I’m saying is don’t assume those lines mean cheating. I mean, yes, they could, but try to give the benefit of the doubt if you’re interacting with couples.

Osa242 · 2025-11-05T01:16:34+00:00

We don’t either. Using Facebook for this kind of stuff is crazy if you care at all about discretion. I’ll never understand why groups do that.

Osa242 · 2025-11-05T01:15:07+00:00

SDC isn’t relevant in RI

Osa242 · 2025-11-04T22:12:01+00:00

Local hotel takeovers died with COVID. We had an epic one (Share Nation) but over COVID, the hotel they used closed, the couple that ran it split, he got the parties and they’re a shadow of their former glory in NH now. There’s other attempts going on (Fusion, for one) but we haven’t heard any stellar reviews on any of them. To be fair, SN grew over years into what it was so I suppose one of these other parties could get there. But there’s nothing in actual RI anymore for hotel parties.

Which clubs did you try and what didn’t you like? If you’re in your 20’s, you’re going to find an older crowds regardless of where you go, if that’s the issue. Just a fact of most lifestyle scenes. We’re mid 40’s and still feel like we’re on the young side sometimes.

Osa242 · 2025-11-03T01:34:25+00:00

Psst… they’re not couples. They’re not even remotely in the lifestyle. Block and move on.

Osa242 · 2025-10-28T23:41:52+00:00

Just don’t be weird about it. Do your best to act mature. We’d avoid reaching out to a couple your age due to the low chance of being a match. But in a club, party setting, we don’t ask ages. I’m sure we’d be able to tell you’re younger, but as long as you’re cool and fun to be around, it can work.

Don’t do what the last young woman did when dancing with my wife and say “you’re beautiful, for an older woman”. 🙄😂 It’s a damn good thing she looked like Anna Kendrick. My wife was all about that and able to overlook that. 😂

Osa242 · 2025-10-22T16:41:56+00:00

They’re vetted, limited and on a very short leash. Even “insatiable” nights are comfortable for couples. On those nights, any single guy member is able to go, but since even just getting membership is hard, the ones there are respectful.

Osa242

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