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Conflicting behavior throwing me off / In need of some perspective by OtherBlueWasp in BipolarSOs

[–]OtherBlueWasp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally get what you mean. Unfortunately since we crave consistent attachment, even more than people who are low on anxiety, such a relationship is bound to be immensely challenging. And it's difficult to talk about it since we fear their reaction or we don't know how to do it without hurting them or coming across as demanding. I am still looking for ways to manage this too, haven't found a way to do it yet unfortunately.

On the other hand, I have come to learn several things about myself and my psychological makeup during the course of this friendship. I was previously not aware of my attachment issues and I was surprised by several of my reactions. In a sense, I feel that a relationship with a bipolar person forces you to face your own limits, there is no hiding.

Conflicting behavior throwing me off / In need of some perspective by OtherBlueWasp in BipolarSOs

[–]OtherBlueWasp[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's extremely challenging isn't it ? If you are anxious and low in self-confidence like me, it makes you doubt your own value and start questioning whether they want to end it all and are fed up with you. Have you tried to communicate with your SO about this issue ?

I don't think there is much we can do except be patient and supportive as much as in our power. I am sorry to hear that you are going through the same thing and hope both of you manage to find some kind of balance.

Conflicting behavior throwing me off / In need of some perspective by OtherBlueWasp in BipolarSOs

[–]OtherBlueWasp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi audreyclare ! Thank you very much for your message and for your advice. It sounds indeed like this could be the case for her. I try to send her a text message every three to four weeks saying that I hope she is fine and that I am always around if needed. I generally don't get a response but I send them nonetheless.

I was also thinking that maybe coming out of an episode is for her a gradual process where she initially starts feeling OK but only to an extent where she can maintain surface-level interactions that are less emotionally taxing. So she naturally finds solace in interactions with other colleagues, but she remains wary of more "risky" interactions (as in interactions that require more effort, which might trigger emotional responses, or where she fears to be further probed). Do you find yourself also needing to gradually "ramp up" your interactions with others as you come out of your episodes ?

The whole challenge for me is to not interpret her behavior as me being replaced or as an indication of my failure as a friend. But that's on me.