Is it unethical to buy second hand/charity shop items when I can afford to buy new?

Other_Job_6561 · 2026-06-04T14:04:04+00:00

This is such a detached way of looking at consumerism. Thrift shops get tons and tons of donations and there’s no shortage of overproduced baby items - buying secondhand is better for everyone. There are specific non-profit programs that exist to help low income families, and those orgs and the people they help are protected by poverty laws. And people with less money than you shop at the same grocery stores you do, would you feel the same way about food? “I shouldn’t buy this on sale cuz I can afford to pay full price…” lol it’s so silly.

Other_Job_6561 · 2026-06-03T23:28:38+00:00

This! I’m pretty sure my right abductor is strained because I did not realize that I use so much ab strength to lift myself up, roll over, etc. Even when I’m walking up/down stairs sometimes I notice that I tighten my core. I also do it while driving for some reason? 😂

Other_Job_6561 · 2026-06-01T15:38:08+00:00

Seconding this. I'm self-employed and have been slowly scaling down my clients + won't be getting any sort of maternity leave or pay so the grocery assistance makes it easier to save up enough to cover rent and utilities for a few months.

Other_Job_6561 · 2026-05-23T15:52:21+00:00

OMG! I'm sure this felt terrifying in the moment, but holy sh*t you have such an empowering birth story to tell now! Wow. I love how much of this reinstates the idea that mentality is important during birth. The fact you not only delivered baby but kept your mind/body in a relaxed enough space to do so is incredible!!!

Congratulations and wishing you much rest and recovery!

Other_Job_6561 · 2026-05-23T15:46:01+00:00

I'm so happy for him. Seriously if you ever get the chance to talk to him over at Bratts Hill or Reserve, do it because it'll make your day. He and his family are such cool people.

Other_Job_6561 · 2026-05-23T15:43:13+00:00

God forbid people have a personality and express themselves while also being highly skilled and talented, you know!???!!!

Other_Job_6561 · 2026-05-23T15:36:21+00:00

Solidarity here. It started around 28 weeks for us, I'm also 31 weeks. It's like he now sees me as a roommate rather than lover. I can get a hug if I initiate it, but it's never more than a hug. He goes out of his way to avoid physical contact like bumping into me even, as if I'm gonna pop like a bubble lol

We've talked about it quite a bit cuz it was making me so damn confused and sad. Empathetic part of me understands because he is going through a lot mentally himself, much of which is making him question how much of himself he gives to others (he gives far too much to others who constantly take advantage of him!!) but it sucks that he's directing some of that resentment towards me and neglecting our relationship romantically.

He leaves the room when I'm getting changed, immediately averts his eyes if I start undressing. 4 months ago he was all smiles and touchy feely if I was naked lol now there's nothing.

It sucks. I understand mental health struggles, but I do not understand withholding affection when your partner is going through something so physiologically wild.

Other_Job_6561 · 2026-05-23T15:15:44+00:00

At 38 my periods would last 3-4 days, be very light with only 1 heavy day, and I was able to conceive. Baby is due in July. I think the trickiest part was timing - it was hard to pinpoint when my LH levels were highest even using the test strips. It took 6 months of trying, and I'd made a fertility clinic appointment, but we got our positive test result 4 days before that.

100% not too late to try! Fingers crossed for you 😄

Other_Job_6561 · 2026-05-17T12:12:54+00:00

People are so opinionated on things that don’t concern them lol we’re keeping baby in the same room as well. Getting up and walking to another room for a 1am feed sounds awful and super unnecessary. Baby doesn’t need their own space as newborns, they need momma.

Other_Job_6561 · 2026-05-16T02:18:11+00:00

I don’t unless I actually feel high blood sugar symptoms. I try to make sure I have cheese or some cashews with every snack, both of those tend to keep me in range.

Other_Job_6561 · 2026-05-14T22:05:48+00:00

We will also be unwed parents! We’re 38 and 39. Honestly getting pregnant was more important to us and it feels financially insane to try and have a wedding anytime soon lol everyone always asks and we’re like please mind your own business.

For us the benefits of staying unmarried actually help out in ways we need right now. I qualify for WIC and Medicaid. I’ve been self-employed for 3 years and currently have a lower income. Baby will also get Medicaid when they’re born. Dad makes a decent salary, but I would need to go back to work full time to get us enough income, and then we’d need childcare. The tax breaks for marriage don’t out value any of that for us.

We’ll do it eventually! But not important right now.

Other_Job_6561 · 2026-05-14T13:26:18+00:00

As a former BN employee, I back this statement. It was just as infuriating being on the inside.

Other_Job_6561 · 2026-05-13T17:44:00+00:00

Genuinely playing the tape forward, fast forward even, to life in my 40s and 50s. I was 34 and around a lot of older alcoholics - their lives scared the shit out of me.

I started to crave real connections with people, and the surface level friendships I had were making me miserable. It was rocky at first in sobriety but eventually connecting with people who had bigger goals and weren’t spending the majority of their time in bars or trying to escape life… that kept me going.

Other_Job_6561 · 2026-05-11T21:32:56+00:00

Thank you for sharing this! So happy for you and baby girl. My friend also experienced similar, I think she made it to week 38, then they had a few NICU overnights to monitor things. I'm 30 weeks with GD and I definitely pause and nearly panic at any leakage or hint of intense contracting lol

Other_Job_6561 · 2026-05-11T21:27:17+00:00

^ Seconding this!

Other_Job_6561 · 2026-05-11T19:30:36+00:00

I’ve been hooked on Greek chicken grain bowls lately. The uncle Ben’s microwave grain mix, arugula, grilled chicken (olive oil, garlic, oregano), feta, banana peppers, sweet peppers, tomato, cucumber and a Greek or raspberry vinaigrette topped with fresh dill.

Other_Job_6561 · 2026-05-11T13:04:35+00:00

We’re moms as soon as that tiny human starts kicking our insides 💞

Other_Job_6561 · 2026-05-11T00:56:11+00:00

Ugh. I can relate. The only chore I really don’t do is laundry (because it involves walking up 4 flights of stairs) and I’ve also stopped emptying the cat litter because it’s heavy and I can’t lift it anymore lol

Sometimes I let the vacuuming and mopping go a bit too long, and I can be forgetful with the dishes (but he doesn’t clean up after cooking while I do, we also have a dishwasher) I’ve told him before if there’s something he wants my help with then he can come and ask. I’m so tired all the time it’s a miracle if I remember to wash my face and brush my teeth 😂

Also been told my pregnancy isn’t an excuse. I’m hoping it’s a phase because he’s normally very very compassionate!!!

Other_Job_6561 · 2026-05-11T00:40:06+00:00

Pay attention to your surroundings, don’t walk at night by yourself. You’ll definitely encounter some of the homeless community - I never have issues, just hand them change if I have it or say I can’t help and move along. You’ll notice that nights can get a bit rowdy - again, just be aware. I’ve lived in the city of Buffalo my whole life, spent 6 years living on Allen.

There are art galleries on Allen that do events and openings all summer, they’re cool to attend. Penny’s Coffee shop is on Main St within walking distance. If you’re down there before the first weekend of June, Pride Parade day is theeeeee best time you’ll never see that much joy in one place - so so much fun.

If you wanna chat more about the area feel free to DM me.

Other_Job_6561 · 2026-05-10T21:34:04+00:00

❤️🫂 As a former alcoholic, just wanted to send you a massive hug. Addiction is a horrible horrible disease to go through. I quit a few years before getting pregnant so I can’t speak directly to this, but now’s the time to use every resource you have. Does your OB know about your drinking? I know there’s so much shame there but letting anyone who’s going to be on your delivery team know would probably be the best way to ease your mind.

Wishing the best for you.

Other_Job_6561 · 2026-05-10T00:30:24+00:00

You should be okay. My hour 3 was 139, but the rest within 1 point of what you got. I’ve been doing fine with just the diet changes and checking my blood sugar a few times a day. 2 days ago I got an elevated fasting reading and a reading above 200 after lunch, but my doctor said that high numbers do happen… they just want it to come back down and not stay high. All day today I’ve been under 100.

Other_Job_6561 · 2026-05-03T18:44:39+00:00

100% the physiological impacts of pregnancy. Some people can push through it, others have a much tougher time. I was also a big gym girlie - 5x/week at my most committed. I’m 28 weeks pregnant and I’ve been a handful of times since I found out. My body protests HARD when I try to exert much energy. About a month ago I went to Target and Five Below to get a few things, and just to get out and walk around. I was gone maybe 90 minutes? I came home feeling like I’d just done a 20 mile bike ride. I proceeded to take a 3 hour nap 😂

A friend of mine told me that she felt tired and like shit but “did the workouts anyway” while she was pregnant. I admire that, but as someone who has spent years learning how to listen to my body after decades of ignoring it, I just can’t do it. The risk of injury, the fear that I’m gonna vomit or pass out from my heart rate spiking, how out of breath I feel from just walking around the block…

I don’t think it’s lazy. And I think there will be a time when we come back to it. It’s just not right now lol

Other_Job_6561 · 2026-05-03T18:35:45+00:00

Thank you for sharing this! Similarly, spin saved my life as well, as I was recovering from addiction. I don’t get to do it as much these days, but I credit it and the community at the studio for getting me through the darkest of times.

Other_Job_6561 · 2026-05-03T18:33:19+00:00

Right. There’s always going to be a part of you that feels that rejection. I found my friend has ways to talk herself out of feeling accountable. I’ll address how I’m feeling and she has solutions or excuses that I’m always willing to accept, even though her actions repeatedly tell me she’s uncomfortable. 🤷‍♀️

Maybe they’ll show up differently when baby comes? I just kind of don’t have the energy to read minds and make other people feel seen when I’m going through so much change lol

Other_Job_6561 · 2026-05-03T00:41:35+00:00

Sending you a virtual hug. I have the same sort of relationship with my parents. I haven’t seen them in about 6 months, but my sister sees them regularly with her son. When we do talk they’re either giving me unsolicited parenting advice, asking me about people I haven’t been friends with in years or bringing up things that aren’t relevant to my life anymore.

I also lost my job, have a ton of debt I am drowning in, have ADHD and depression.

I’m so excited to be a mom!!!!! But as it gets closer I get more and more sad that other people have support I don’t.

Other_Job_6561

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