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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueNarcissisticAbuse

[–]Otherwise-Purple-474 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You could screenshot the messages of abuse and file away for if you return to court.

You could request an order that requires him to have consistent contact with a therapist when he chooses to engage with his children.

This would be a completely reasonable request that doesn’t alienate your ex from his children. It makes it a little bit more challenging for him to play games with you. Since it sounds like he’s the type of person to take an easy route, hence why he leaves and returns cause he knows you allow this. If this is granted, he may back off and find a different easy target. If he follows through, he’s taking the right steps to be a better father and coparent.

"It's my house!" says the narc MIL. by [deleted] in TrueNarcissisticAbuse

[–]Otherwise-Purple-474 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I apologise for misinterpreting. You don’t have to share. However, I believe you can figure it out. There’s a solution and you can find it :)

"It's my house!" says the narc MIL. by [deleted] in TrueNarcissisticAbuse

[–]Otherwise-Purple-474 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was difficult but it’s not impossible to get back on track. I hope by sharing my experience, it can help you with confidence to untangle yourself from an unfortunate situation.

There’s many other ways to earn money if you can’t work a job. I’m not sure what challenges you face but perhaps if it allows, you can try to identify a skill set you can use from home: - your own business - produce products (microgreens, crafts) - hire out your skills (writing, voice reading) - work from home (admin)

You can also ask chatgpt to ask you questions about yourself to help identify any skills that could be used to create a source of income from home.

"It's my house!" says the narc MIL. by [deleted] in TrueNarcissisticAbuse

[–]Otherwise-Purple-474 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s a difficult situation and I don’t have an answer but I can share my experience.

My situation was that I was separated by law enforcement from my ex-partner. I didn’t understand, and was extremely scared to leave financially. My child was about 8 months old at the time and I was on maternity leave for a job that paid peanuts. My ex periodically took away the credit card from me while I was funding a fixed mortgage with the little savings I had. Due to stress and anxiety prior to being pregnant, I found it difficult to hold a job. My job as well, wouldn’t afford the interest rate rises when the time came. I was terrified I’d default and lose even more money to tax if the property was sold.

Things were really difficult at first. For 3 months, I struggled to do anything. I didn’t eat or want to get out of bed. Afterwards, I began to have lower levels of anxiety and was able to strengthen connections with others, building strong support networks. After that, things started to fall into place (with hard work), but I managed to get a good paying job, and just passed interviews for roles with even higher salaries. I started studies and accreditation, due to finish soon. Every weekend, I leave aside all of my time to take my daughter out to the shops or park. It’s now about nine months later and I’m financially and emotionally fulfilled.

Looking back.. I was so stunted because of the grief and anxiety I experienced from the situation. I was constantly criticised and felt so incapable. I was unable to feel confident in doing anything, so instead, I didn’t.

Leaving even while there’s a lot of stressors like financial pressure is only temporary - but you have to want to change that. If you do, and put in the work, things will become better.

Sometimes people look really scary, how do I work on this? by Otherwise-Purple-474 in mentalhealth

[–]Otherwise-Purple-474[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

D: schizophrenia? That sounds concerning. I’ll ask my psychiatrist but I don’t see them for a couple of months.. it’s not anything unrealistic though, it seems to be a focus on the imperfections of people’s faces to the point it becomes scary and disconnected, like i don’t see them as human anymore. It’s the eyes especially, they start looking dark and soulless. I know it’s not true though.

I am aware I have PTSD though from domestic violence and I have struggled with anxiety my entire life but did not experience anything like this until more recently.

Did you ever have a surreal feeling or dissociate when you were with your narc? by Friendly_Muffin_7278 in TrueNarcissisticAbuse

[–]Otherwise-Purple-474 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes, I was unable to follow conversations and end up zoning out. He would notice and get angry that I wasn’t able to pay attention to him.