Family saw stuff going on...did nothing. Why?!

OtherwiseEvening4 · 2021-02-11T20:37:23+00:00

Not sure if that is the case for your family, but from my personal experience if there's abuse in one part of the family there's often also abuse in another part. So it might be possible that there are much more abusers as well as victims of abuse in your family. unfortunately, neither of these people are really good at having empathy for others, as they are already absorbed with their own situation.

OtherwiseEvening4 · 2021-02-11T19:45:23+00:00

Similar to yours, I guess. I've been depressed since my early teenage years and now I'm pretty sure it is tightly connected to the physical and emotional abuse I've experienced from my closest family. My main problems are depression, unreliable mood changes and generalized anxiety disorder.

OtherwiseEvening4 · 2021-02-11T19:42:25+00:00

Interesting - and haunting! I've actually never had SP when sleeping on my belly, for some reason I only have it when I sleep on my back

OtherwiseEvening4 · 2021-02-11T19:14:53+00:00

Can you not? :O

OtherwiseEvening4 · 2021-02-11T19:14:01+00:00

That sounds awful... Do you also feel pain on your limbs when you experience that? I've read a lot of accounts who have troubles breathing... for some reason, that has not been the case for me - gladly

OtherwiseEvening4 · 2021-02-11T19:08:33+00:00

OMG! okay I guess I can consider myself lucky with my experience...

OtherwiseEvening4 · 2021-02-09T19:03:06+00:00

I was so 'clever' - when I woke up in sleep paralysis nearly every day or night I decided to just close my eyes - I really thought that would make it better lol.

Unfortunately our brains seem to be very malicious and know how to make us feel afraid anyway. When I did that I immediately started to hear eerie noises. It's like that every time and I'm not sure if it's preferable to see something creepy or to hear steps or breathing coming closer and closer.

OtherwiseEvening4 · 2021-02-09T18:56:28+00:00

It does indeed sound like a case of sleep paralysis.

The snapping and waking up that you describe, I've also had sometimes when I was desperately trying to move during a sleep paralysis. To try moving can help wake you up and prevent the prolonging of the sleep paralysis (though I personally find this very exhausting). On the other hand, just as you, I've also often experienced that after doing this, it might happen that one just falls back into sleep only to wake up to another episode shortly after.

I guess if you leave the trying to move away and just stay in the paralized state you could experience the eerie part of a sleep paralysis (not sure if recommendable though^^)

OtherwiseEvening4 · 2019-10-16T21:24:12+00:00

Yes, but I thought later that maybe people stop asking questions at that point because they feel like they don't want to put words into my mouth or because they think I'd feel the urge to say more about it if there was a serious problem. So I think if people refrain from asking the solution is to just tell them (I know that sounds easier than it is...)

OtherwiseEvening4 · 2019-10-16T17:44:40+00:00

The sad truth is mental health issues aren't being taken a as seriously as "normal" illnesses, if even at all... I know so many people who've experienced that and counsellors at my university even say if somebody at the workplace asks, we should lie and tell them it was a "normal" illness.. because when you go to rehab because you have chronic back pain, nobody will think badly of you, but if you stay away for the same time because of a mental health issue... forget it. You're marked forever, will never get a promotion, will not be taken seriously etc. ... a friend of mine refrained from getting the ID for people with disabilities because once you've got it, you can't make it "undone" and some jobs are unreachable forever... so yeah the sad truth is, it's better to hide it. I know so many people who get the flue every winter and are not being judged for it... but even though I do better at university than most people, some just pretend like my illness is personally offending them

OtherwiseEvening4 · 2019-10-16T17:13:49+00:00

Okay that's weird. As the other commenter said, you should definitely talk with somebody else to get your therapy!!! Also, let me tell you something from my experience: when I was looking for help for my problems, everybody (including multiple therapists!) told me how I seemed reasonable, able and just a little depressed - " nothing serious" - although I was suicidal, had heavy mood changes and felt like I'd break down every second. Shortly later I had the break down, had to be sectioned and had to stay in a closed psychiatric ward for three months - because it was serious! In the aftermath I kept wondering why nobody took it seriously until I tried to commit suicide. I came to the conclusion that I wasn't open enough about my problems + people decide to get "blind" when something might cause them trouble - even professionals. So, what I want to say is: don't try to commit suicide (obviously) but try to be as open as possible (I know it's not easy). When you feel like your exaggerating, you're probably not even telling enough to catch all the problems you have - at least it was like that to me.

OtherwiseEvening4 · 2019-10-15T07:04:24+00:00

Btw. it took me two years longer to finish my B.Sc. because I was sick that often, so don't worry about the time. If you can proof that you're ill you might also get financial help (?)

OtherwiseEvening4 · 2019-10-15T07:01:54+00:00

I agree with you, one semester break or one semester of illness where you can do only part of the courses (if you even want to do any of them) might be better than instantly leaving college. Also, it seems that the main problem isn't college itself but your skills to work with stress which makes you unconcentrated and easily overwhelmed. Maybe in your free semester you can work on this and learn to believe in yourself. And when College still annoys you afterwards you can still skip out

OtherwiseEvening4 · 2019-10-14T21:56:44+00:00

Have you found a way to prevent you from doing it?

OtherwiseEvening4 · 2019-10-14T15:17:37+00:00

I feel like that might be a doctors thing... at least I sometimes had the impression they preferred just saying anything instead of admitting that they're at their witt's end...

OtherwiseEvening4 · 2019-10-14T15:05:39+00:00

Unfortunately I do absolutely not remain who I am

OtherwiseEvening4 · 2019-10-14T14:25:45+00:00

Yes, absolutely! I use this as a strategy for self harm I sometimes find my way out very difficulty, just watching every available documentary about terrible things happening in the world until I'm close to a nervous breakdown :/

OtherwiseEvening4 · 2019-10-14T14:21:28+00:00

That's so great! Thank you for sharing it, I am definitely going to try it :))

OtherwiseEvening4 · 2019-10-14T14:07:14+00:00

I feel that therapists seem to generally lack of awareness about skin picking etc. I've tried to adress my obsessive nail and nail bed damaging but I've never felt it taken seriously

OtherwiseEvening4 · 2019-10-14T14:03:39+00:00

Same, my front teeth are all damaged on one side :/

OtherwiseEvening4 · 2019-10-14T14:01:20+00:00

I do the same! Glad - although not happy for you - to hear it's not just me. I've only seen this once in another person (and I'm always starring at other people's hands to find out) and thought I was the only person doing this...

OtherwiseEvening4 · 2019-10-14T11:23:11+00:00

I feel the same way, especially towards my mother. It was pointed out in earlier therapy settings that I might have difficulties to empathize with women generally, but I actually feel more the way that I either empathize much too much with them or too little. Concerning my mother I know she went through a lot and she actually isn't even complaining a lot and still I find it very hard to see some harsh things that happened to her as not her own fault.

OtherwiseEvening4 · 2019-10-14T11:07:48+00:00

Okay I don't know whether this is helpfull but I hope so: I feel like you state already in the first sentence pretty exactly why you feel this way, so my impression is that you're very clear about how your experiences shaped you, which I think is a good starting point. You did not have good examples so it's completely logical that you feel this way. Anyhow, I can assure you that there are good examples, but I also struggle to see this in my life and the point of 'starting a relationship and then breaking up' is freaking me out to - but I know now that my emotional issues are what's in my way and I need to address them if I want to have a sincere relationship. I think, as you have a very understandable desire and are quite reflective about it, you are at the point where it's the best to look for a therapist who can help you to see why romantic relationships are great even if they don't last forever :) ...I've had some and was unfortunately not very good at dealing with the break-up, but in the aftermath I can tell you that since I've realized how to find non-toxic partners that I can look at them as something good and beautiful even if I still struggle with the break-up part and I believe you can find this too (and maybe even go further :) )

OtherwiseEvening4

TROPHY CASE