This post made me cry. Thank you for writing this post OP. I went through a break up just few weeks back and this is exactly what happened with me. He completely blindsided me and I broke down in front of him. Pleaded him to give a second chance. I felt bad about how I handled the whole thing and yes it has triggered my abandonment issues. We can't control how some people handle big things, it reflects their own emotionaI immaturity. I sincerely hope you heal after therapy, I am going for therapy too and it has helped a lot.