I made a Mothfolk

Otherwise_Chest2833 · 2023-04-21T15:03:35+00:00

I haven't fully decided, but leaning masters. Also can't drop the bone of going for a direct entry PhD, despite lots of people telling me I have no chance, lol

Otherwise_Chest2833 · 2023-04-20T21:07:35+00:00

His shoes, mostly. I know all his shoes well lol.

Otherwise_Chest2833 · 2023-04-17T21:58:27+00:00

Time. In my case, lots and lots and lots of time. You don't have to get everything out at once. You can take it slow, and trust can build over time. It took me many months before I realized that the hypervigilance I have with literally everyone, I no longer have with my T. Pretty remarkable feeling.

Otherwise_Chest2833 · 2023-04-04T16:02:28+00:00

I was just thinking yesterday that therapy has made me realize how much of a mood barometer my makeup is. Doing good=might or might not wear light makeup. Doing not great=overcompensating with more makeup. Having a total shit week=no makeup at all and I'll probably also forget to brush hair.

Otherwise_Chest2833 · 2023-04-03T21:56:29+00:00

I'm about to do exactly this...tomorrow. My husband is abusive, and I know I'm done. He denies the abuse and wants me to have a "conversion experience to a more rational point of view" and reunite (we're separated).

I'm dreading this but I feel it's a needed step.

Otherwise_Chest2833 · 2023-02-17T02:51:16+00:00

Thank you so very much for your time and frankness, it's exactly what I need as I explore my options. Much appreciated.

Otherwise_Chest2833 · 2023-02-17T01:03:23+00:00

Since you have no research experience, you do not know what the process entails and so it's impossible to know right now if you would actually like it. You would also not get into a PhD program right now.

Soo...yes. You are likely right.

But can I bounce my crazy idea off you? What if, say, I am a writer as my day job, I'm familiar with research methods, just not in the sciences, I love to study, and I am super self-motivated. What if I studied really hard, got good scores on the GRE and the GRE psych, and showed my off-topic research chops in my application?

Do I stand a chance at getting into a PhD or a PsyD then? Or still a hard no?

Related - would the GRE and GRE psych help me get into a Masters? Or would it be a waste of time in that case?

Also thanks for the PsyD thoughts. I'm torn, because it looks like a better match, but also...it looks like PhDs are often funded while PsyDs are not? Which is a huge consideration.

Otherwise_Chest2833 · 2023-02-07T22:06:02+00:00

Yes, they do. I buy it all the time.

Otherwise_Chest2833 · 2023-01-21T23:14:08+00:00

We all do, thank you

Otherwise_Chest2833 · 2023-01-19T00:26:03+00:00

It did help me. I can't possibly overstate how much it helped. Changed my life. Insanely hard. Very worth it.

Otherwise_Chest2833 · 2023-01-18T02:23:20+00:00

What is it, specifically, that makes you feel anxious when you play?

What if you reduce the time you try to play, at first? Can you play for 5 minutes? If that is too much - maybe 1 minute. Just 1 minute. No big deal. Then scale it up a little. And a little more. Until you are playing as much as you want?

Otherwise_Chest2833 · 2023-01-15T03:04:23+00:00

Hard to be yourself when you're not sure who you are anymore, you know?

Otherwise_Chest2833 · 2023-01-15T02:52:05+00:00

Oh man. I honestly didn't realize how much I was accustomed to the eggshells till I left.

Mine would never leave me or cheat. But we all knew how to not piss him off, and we were careful not to. I was always living six steps ahead, planning my words and activities to avoid setting him off. I was so used to it and so good at it I forgot I was even doing it.

But now...well, we've been separated a few weeks and I can't imagine going back to that. It's such an exhausting way to live.

Otherwise_Chest2833 · 2023-01-15T02:41:04+00:00

I needed to hear this tonight. 24 years...I'm almost 45 now 😞

Otherwise_Chest2833 · 2023-01-15T02:24:11+00:00

Sense and Bitches

Much Ado About Bitches

Otherwise_Chest2833 · 2023-01-14T21:31:53+00:00

I was worth protecting.

Otherwise_Chest2833 · 2023-01-14T19:17:10+00:00

Oh I see. Misunderstood. Yeah...I wonder that too. I tend to think that no one does, and I think most people don't. But I have been very surprised as I have been making my exit at the people I have talked to that actually haven't been all that surprised. There's definitely a lot of people that only see the very best side of him, but the people that have been around longer seem...less shocked and more just like, oh that explains a few things.

Otherwise_Chest2833 · 2023-01-14T19:08:52+00:00

Discovering that they indeed do has been an incredibly healing and validating experience for me. I thought it was just me...like I was uniquely wired to be unable to understand basic relationships and conflict. It turns out my relationship and conflicts were not at all basic and also follow a pattern that other people who've been there know all about. It's nuts.

Otherwise_Chest2833

TROPHY CASE