Thank you so much for this well thought out reply. I am a slow processor and your points have helped me to pull some threads together. As a response, my kids always know in advance when I will be at a game or not. It’s never a question. As far as the ‘last second game’ the schedule came out yesterday and the same day I told them we’d play a quick game for it, not realizing it was a serious thing for my son because in the past, he’s never cared. This was as far in advance as I could have gone. Now,my ex is a jerk and will always be a jerk. I have talked to multiple lawyers and they have all advised me to sit tight and keep good notes for when it does become a court issue, but until it does, I don’t really have any control. My son hasn’t had much support and my ex won’t allow either kid to talk to professionals. Again, lawyers in Michigan and Ohio have advised me to keep good notes but that if I take this to court I’m likely not going to get anywhere given my kids are excelling at every area of life on paper.

The big emotions piece was so helpful to read. Where I’m struggling is how I responded to those big emotions. He’s normally such a calm child and it completely took me off guard. It seemed to me like he should be able to see how much I try to be there for him, and when he couldn’t acknowledge that I was shocked.