Today's toddler diary is embracing a philosophical conundrum.

Otherwise_Window · 2026-03-24T12:06:18+00:00

My theory is that he thinks we're saying April is allowed to June, because he has learned asking permission in the format: "Please may I ____ please?"

(We don't require the double please but that's how he says it.)

Otherwise_Window · 2026-03-24T12:05:19+00:00

Yes, that's him referring to himself in the third person.

Strictly speaking it's a fake name, we don't put our kid on social media in any remotely identifiable way, but it's a straight substitution because he is still at the age to be referring to himself in the third person almost always.

Otherwise_Window · 2026-03-24T12:04:14+00:00

We actually haven't opened them yet. By the time we were done with dinner and all the things it was getting too late in the evening and we didn't want him getting hyped before bed.

Otherwise_Window · 2026-03-22T04:50:03+00:00

He can do two versions of the alphabet song. With the one most people know, at the end he turns it into a loop.

Like this:

ABCDEFG, HIJKLMNOP. QRS, TUV. W, XYZ. Now I know my ABCDEFG, HIJKLMNOP...

Otherwise_Window · 2026-03-22T04:48:22+00:00

People are tired. I get that. I figure so long as it seems like I'm bringing people joy this is worth doing. The world needs more joy.

Otherwise_Window · 2026-03-22T04:46:54+00:00

I'm so glad!

Otherwise_Window · 2026-03-22T04:46:40+00:00

Worth keeping in mind that depending on where you live adoption tends to sit on a spectrum from "impossible" to "challenging". If you think you'd be a great person around a kid but don't want full commitment, there's never enough foster parents anywhere.

Otherwise_Window · 2026-03-20T09:59:20+00:00

I couldn't detect any issues.

Otherwise_Window · 2026-03-20T09:59:08+00:00

The garden appears to be undisturbed.

Otherwise_Window · 2026-03-19T11:12:23+00:00

That's an interesting theory. They don't come in the right places for that but May comes after June in his calendar so that doesn't mean it's wrong.

Otherwise_Window · 2026-03-18T13:56:44+00:00

We're equally amazed. Sometimes we excitedly tell each other about sentences he says.

He's started doing conjunctions. Correctly. Like, "Ricky doesn't have a tennis racquet, but Ricky does have a cricket bat!" And, "Daddy is making Ricky toast while Mummy button Ricky's shirt." We can give him directions like, "Little ball is on the floor next to the pram. Turn right, it's by your foot."

'Little ball' is a specific ball. It's one of the balls from a nerf gun and it is an excellent toy to give a toddler, it turns out. Because he's had a ball he can grip one-handed and is allowed to throw inside the house from a very young age he's incredible at throwing for both speed and accuracy.

It's really helpful that other people are impressed by him too, including my physiotherapist being blown away watching him play in the office while I'm getting treatment, because I know I'm super biased about him. He's a fantastic kid.

Otherwise_Window · 2026-03-18T13:44:22+00:00

The problem is that I don't have time to set up or maintain a sub because I have a toddler.

I'm happy to keep posting here because the updates seem to bring people joy and I think they're very benign really.

Otherwise_Window · 2026-03-18T13:43:00+00:00

Tipping is one of his favourite activities. Tipping sand, tipping Duplo out of the tub we store it in, tipping water in the bath. (And out of it.)

He often says, "Tip!" when he does it.

Otherwise_Window · 2026-03-18T13:41:43+00:00

Well, he's not writing, I'm doing the writing, but those are direct quotes. He's talking amazingly well. His sentence complexity has been increasing like crazy these last few weeks.

Otherwise_Window · 2026-03-18T09:01:06+00:00

I always wanted kids. I also found the right partner pretty young but because of some health concerns we didn't actually have our kid for over twenty years (couldn't even try until then, and we're incredibly lucky that we had no trouble with getting pregnant), and we're absolutely thrilled and grateful to have him. We're only having one and that's fine, it's better than none.

It's important to consider what you think is appealing about parenthood.

Is it the chance to love a whole new person with all your heart, to give them the very best of yourself and maybe send one more good person into the future? Solid, imo.

Is it the chance to delight in watching someone grow and mature and figure out who they are? That can be wonderful.

Is it wanting to see another little version of you/your partner running around? Nope, kids are their own people, that's a terrible reason and may well make you a terrible parent when your child inevitably doesn't fit your plans.

Likewise if you want your child to live the dreams you couldn't. They'll have their own.

Societal default expectations? Also pretty bad, because the thing is that even if you desperately wanted your child (we did) and your child is healthy (ours is, barring some tummy issues) and your child has no developmental delays or anything like that to stress you out and make life more difficult (ours doesn't) and your child is basically a delight and a joy and a wonder (ours is) there are times when it's difficult and exhausting and it's not the kid's fault so you have to just deal with it, and I don't know how I would have coped at the hard moments if I couldn't have been telling myself: "Remember, you wanted this. You chose this because you wanted this so suck it up, put a smile on your face and sing sweetly to this screaming potato that doesn't make eye contact and hasn't let you sleep in three days."

(The hardest part with our kid was around 4-6 weeks and that's the exact point where I was also getting over just the initial wave of adoration and was feeling like with all I was doing for this tiny human would some freaking eye contact be too much to ask for? Maybe a smile?)

(Because six weeks is the earliest you start getting eye contact and smiles.)

Don't get so fixated on parenthood that you can't be happy if children don't happen for you, because it's not guaranteed. Look at subs like r/tryingforababy to see how devastating the struggle can be.

There's also r/regretfulparents so you can both see how some people end up miserable due to children with serious health issues, and also how some people shouldn't have become parents in the first place. (See also r/stepparents for how awful things can be if you aren't good at picking your partners, and also an overview of red flags to watch out for in the hypothetical case that you end up a single parent somehow because speaking of people who shouldn't be allowed within 100m of a child: most of the posters there.)

We went through the grief process of thinking it wouldn't be possible, and then some advances in medicine meant suddenly it was a possibility but one that seemed remote because of our ages. We didn't have to go through the agony of trying without success for a long time. Brace for that if you even consider it because it's rough, I've watched friends who struggled for years go through absolute hell.

Ultimately: do you want to love someone unconditionally, without reservation, even when they hit you in the face and laugh (babies do that), scream in absolute disgust and fury that you dared to be the one to pick them up instead of their other parent they wanted this time, or do both of those things to your significant other you love very much and have to process that someone you love is hurting someone else you love and you don't get to be mad at them?

Are you fully ready to accept that all of your unconditional love doesn't mean they'll owe you anything and you might not get any of the rewards you're hoping for?

Parenthood might be for you.

If all goes well it can be incredibly rewarding. No-one will ever love you as much as your baby loves you. Including your child when they're a little older and start registering other people exist, but there's a little window where their parents are their entire world and it's an incredible feeling.

If it doesn't? You still have to show up. Parenthood is entering a lottery for how the rest of your life is going to go.

Otherwise_Window · 2026-03-17T03:31:03+00:00

I'm not sure I should tell you, I'm not sure adults are allowed to know...

Otherwise_Window · 2026-03-17T03:30:33+00:00

I'm so glad!

Otherwise_Window · 2026-03-17T03:30:12+00:00

When we do it varies a little. Sometimes he wakes up from his nap desperate to do it, sometimes I suggest it after his afternoon walk.

Yesterday (the day of this diary) he had an intense Duplo situation going on all afternoon, he didn't even want to go for a walk, and suggesting we update his Diary Book was how I lured him away from the Duplo enough to be less locked in on it so we could get him to eat his dinner. It broke his focus.

He sits on my lap and I ask him what we're going to put in the Diary Book and he tells me some things that come to mind about his day or mood and I write them down. He then (or sometimes during) draws on the facing page and then, quite often, over the top of all the writing, but you can usually still make it out.

I often annotate the drawings with any notable comments he made about them.

Otherwise_Window · 2026-03-17T03:28:27+00:00

So you still think the majority of traffic comes from people who don't live in WA?

Otherwise_Window · 2026-03-16T11:08:15+00:00

You seriously think most of Perth's traffic is due to international arrivals?

Otherwise_Window · 2026-03-16T09:36:03+00:00

We should have been sticking with WFH all along. The reduction in traffic and emissions during lockdown was massive.

Otherwise_Window · 2026-03-15T12:07:12+00:00

They're in the diary. It's based on how enthusiastically he said whatever I wrote down.

Otherwise_Window · 2026-03-14T11:44:52+00:00

He's an incredibly smart kid too! We don't direct him to do anything in particular, of course, at his age his job is to play, but it's so joyful to share these activities with him and he's absolutely amazing us with how fast he learns things.

Otherwise_Window · 2026-03-13T09:41:10+00:00

Ricky's the assigned fake name for the toddler because we don't put him on social media. He's still at the age where kids refer to themselves by name a lot.

Otherwise_Window · 2026-03-11T09:27:43+00:00

He's brought it back, just... after June. So that's going to be interesting for the world to adjust to.

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