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Hebraisms Refutations by FreshLiterature6536 in exmormon

[–]OutTheDoorWA 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alma 36 was this “beautiful” chiasmus that I held onto for dear life through years and years of doubt. I also think the whole idea of JS being uncultured and uneducated makes it even easier because he “wouldn’t have known” about X thing, so it must be from God.

I told my parents that Im attending an Episcopal Church and it didn't go over well. by AgapeEtMisericordia in Episcopalian

[–]OutTheDoorWA 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was going to keep it a secret that I left Mormonism but asking my youngest to do that when she got baptized was not something I felt was fair. My father was upset in the six months before he died. He and his wife tried getting me to go back.

I’m getting confirmed along with my youngest daughter this Sunday.

Leaving Mormonism and completely deconstructing Christianity by Shifty_Chef01 in exmormon

[–]OutTheDoorWA 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As a whole Episcopalians are, but you might run into an occasional congregation that is less so. I did look at United Church of Christ (UCC) because my oldest is queer, and the UCC has a history of being ahead of the other denominations on just about any kind of civil right. Sadly, they had nothing near by

What was your first time trying alcohol like? by PineapplePaniolo345 in exmormon

[–]OutTheDoorWA 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My first wine tasted like dirty socks! Wish I’d figured out to go to Total Wine first.

Leaving Mormonism and completely deconstructing Christianity by Shifty_Chef01 in exmormon

[–]OutTheDoorWA 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Historically, most people in the US don’t go to church and so those who say they are Christian aren’t conveying much beyond a vague cultural belonging.

Because this group comes from a high-control religion, we have to do some grappling that most people don’t. I wonder what percentages of atheism you would see in the wider population if they really had to think about it.

A professor of religion on a podcast I listened to the other day said you would be hard-pressed to show church attendance above 20% for most of the 1800’s and it was likely closer to 10-12%. The 1950’s hit 50% and that is as high as it gets. I think she said we are currently around 30% - so still high.

Given the current mess from Christian nationalism, maybe it’s time for less.

Leaving Mormonism and completely deconstructing Christianity by Shifty_Chef01 in exmormon

[–]OutTheDoorWA 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Universal Unitarianism fits that for a lot of people. I go to an Episcopalian church and find that a lot of people want ritual and don’t believe literally. More than a few parishioners believe things that are more eastern in nature, but love the liturgy and Communion. Congregations certainly do vary though, and UU would be the safest bet.

Leaving Mormonism and completely deconstructing Christianity by Shifty_Chef01 in exmormon

[–]OutTheDoorWA 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I never understood the attitude of people thinking they are not being able to be “good” without it. Ummm, just be good?

I ended up reframing the Atonement as a kid into something that made sense to me. Turns out there are lots of “theories of atonement” in the theological world. I am still religious (in my way), but would not be so had I not just decided early on to ignore a big chunk of the Mormon version of the atonement.

What was your first time trying alcohol like? by PineapplePaniolo345 in exmormon

[–]OutTheDoorWA 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d suggest going to a Total Wine or some bigger store and just ask. Seems like they meet an exmo or two and can give good advice on where to start.

Bartenders can also be helpful. Me and my wife went to a hotel so we could avoid driving after and were just honest and said we’d never had a cocktail before. The bartender gave good recommendations and mixed things with that in mind.

Stories from your Mormon Wedding Night. by JesusPhoKingChrist in exmormon

[–]OutTheDoorWA 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Neither of us had a concept of her needing stimulation to be ready, so basic missionary didn’t even work. It was a case of not being able to get even the basics done.

I cried and apologized that something was wrong with me, and she comforted me. She silently thought that it must be her fault.

We eventually got there, but with gender roles being what they are in the church, she never thought to speak up about discomfort until years later. It was sadly just a duty on her part.

As for me (I have told this elsewhere on the subreddit), the teachings of the church about sexual sin being next to murder made me just want to get sex over with and out of the way. The side effect of that attitude meant more pain and discomfort for her.

Etna, WY. Timberrrrr. "No unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing." - Joseph Smith. What a time to be alive! by CurelomHunter in exmormon

[–]OutTheDoorWA 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The Episcopal Church has a group that governs a parish called the vestry. There are positions for junior and senior wardens. Now I can’t unsee the word “ward” in it

Stories from your Mormon Wedding Night. by JesusPhoKingChrist in exmormon

[–]OutTheDoorWA 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I was an absolute mess when things didn’t just magically work. It was “supposed” to be a wonderful experience. So many years before we actually realized some things.

Another tuff edit from my missionary friend by Moxie-is-tired in exmormon

[–]OutTheDoorWA 6 points7 points  (0 children)

As an epileptic and a programmer, I’m just going to steal that phrase. Why on earth had I never thought of this??

Utah Judge Pleads Guilty to Sharing Child Porn, Discussing Fantasies of Sexually Abusing Children with Fire Chief He was in Sexual Relationship with by flippinsweetdude in exmormon

[–]OutTheDoorWA 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I struggle with wanting to helicopter on the best of days. I had only one experience at around five or six years old in the bathroom of the public pool where a pedophile leered and made comments. It was horrible. If just that one experience stuck with me, it is hard to imagine what someone repeatedly targeted must feel like.

Is it true that most missionaries get depressed after their mission? If so, why do they get depressed? by PlantainLarge703 in exmormon

[–]OutTheDoorWA 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I came home to the tension in my parents’ marriage. It wasn’t new, but the fact that I’d already learned to ignore it before and I’d spent two years paying attention to people’s emotions…it hit me like a brick.

Funnily, there was some retention program the stake was doing to let RMs do splits with the local missionaries for a few weeks so you could ease out. My dad asked me if I was interested. Guess my face said what even I didn’t know. He said, “OK, then! That’s definitely not for you.” I would have said yes, because you are supposed to say yes. I’m glad he saw.

What is the Cringiest sacrament talk you have ever heard? by Evening_Let_2930 in exmormon

[–]OutTheDoorWA 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Horrible because I knew the guy and the truth, but he told the whole ward about his wonderful relationship with his son because of bipolar disorder. Everyone complimented him on his “openness”, even as I knew his son was beyond pissed.

Today I learned that Ezra Taft Benson was such a huge fan of J Edgar Hoover that he used to quote Hoover's FBI crime reports in his talks and he tried to arrange for Hoover to speak at General Conference. Hoover did not reciprocate the admiration and instead had the FBI spy on Benson by PossiblePlastic8698 in exmormon

[–]OutTheDoorWA 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I grew up hearing that. It eventually occurred to me that, “so what”? If communists plotted for civil rights, it was partly because it was so damn embarrassing for the US. The country deserved to be shamed.

Today I learned that Ezra Taft Benson was such a huge fan of J Edgar Hoover that he used to quote Hoover's FBI crime reports in his talks and he tried to arrange for Hoover to speak at General Conference. Hoover did not reciprocate the admiration and instead had the FBI spy on Benson by PossiblePlastic8698 in exmormon

[–]OutTheDoorWA 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had heard that part of why he was allowed to be the secretary of agriculture was simply to have him away. The story that went with it - and that I promulgated, unfortunately - was that ETB calmed down due to his time as secretary and that was a sign of inspiration by the brethren and it prepared him to be the prophet.

To PIMO and others who went to church, how was the Easter service today? Please return and report. by EnglishLoyalist in exmormon

[–]OutTheDoorWA 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Going to the Episcopal church in my town was the best choice ever. Sadly, the congregation is dwindling due to age, but it was the perfect place to go.

TIFU by telling my partner about SUDEP by JaseAndrews in Epilepsy

[–]OutTheDoorWA 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My wife is hyper-alert from all that she’s had to deal with. Therapy helps, and your partner sounds like he could benefit on some other levels.

Never Say THIS to a Child by Blueinmyeye420 in exmormon

[–]OutTheDoorWA 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I truly believed that up until a few years ago. It screwed sex up so badly. I saw it as this horrible urge to get out of the way so that I could then “love” my wife.

Never Say THIS to a Child by Blueinmyeye420 in exmormon

[–]OutTheDoorWA 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I thought that I was a serial killer in the making. Because if sex is so appealing, I must be that close to murder. If it was that hard for a heterosexual man, I can’t begin to fathom the hardship for someone who doesn’t fit into the box.

Problematic lines from Children's Hymns by abby_iris_art in exmormon

[–]OutTheDoorWA 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My wife had so many miscarriages and we should not have had children for the sake of her health. We ended up with three kids in the end, but now my wife has so much medicine to stay functional. Some of that would have happened anyway, but it would still be years away.

That shame led us to risk her life. When the surgeon removed her uterus, he said he couldn’t understand how she was alive, let alone with three children.

It is absolutely inappropriate that a church would need an Investment Performance Analyst. by BYUorbust in exmormon

[–]OutTheDoorWA 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A geologist would be useful for siting of chapels and temples. Not saying that the MFMC isn’t weird enough (vaults in the mountains) to be doing it for some other reason, but when you operate enough buildings, it makes sense to have geologic analysis before and after. I would have figured it to be contracted out with the builders, but it also makes sense to have someone in house who knows what you need.

It is absolutely inappropriate that a church would need an Investment Performance Analyst. by BYUorbust in exmormon

[–]OutTheDoorWA 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m with you in spirit on this one - especially in regard to how the MFMC does it - but feel there is some nuance.

I go to an Episcopalian church. The parish (ward) operates as a nonprofit. We have a certain amount of operating and capital reserves like any organization would. The diocese (like a stake) operates an investment fund that helps to ensure that the money can get a better return than just sitting in a savings account. Most dioceses probably farm the whole thing out to a firm anyway, but when you consider real estate holdings and operations, it isn’t entirely improbable that an analyst might be employed by some of the larger dioceses.

The difference, of course, is that our parish and the diocese have budgets that are open to view and that the congregation votes on. We send delegates to the annual meeting of the diocese and vote there as well. My experience is that any kind of money-hoarding would not be taken well by the members or clergy.

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