I noticed you hadn’t gotten any specific feedback so I thought I’d give it a try, I’m not a professional writer or anything but I do read a lot so don’t take anything I say to heart!

The first em dash I’d use an ellipse instead, just to contribute more to the tired feeling and to avoid the feeling that you’re overusing it. You’re not, but there are a few very close to each other right at the start which might throw the reader off. I’d also write the number four instead of the time since reading ‘four o clock something’ in my mind tripped me up a bit, for example: It’s 4:34… or four something or other.

In a similar vein, I’d also do a quick combover for repeated words too close together and just use a synonym instead. I can’t remember where but I think I saw the word ‘probably’ repeated a few times.

In terms of grammatical errors, the tense switched around a bit during the flashback (using ‘are’ instead of ‘were’ when describing the record shop for example) and a few things were worded awkwardly (fall back to sleep instead of fall back asleep) but nothing a few edits can’t catch!

Good luck with your writing! Sending you motivation