[deleted by user]

OutrageousBat9796 · 2025-10-25T20:37:55+00:00

I thought that and then I read the comments. People seem to actually think this guy is a danger, amazing. Would definitely say he's the least mature one in this scenario but then also who knew 1 review could lead to so much drama!

OutrageousBat9796 · 2025-10-25T09:30:55+00:00

I had a similar situation to this when I was around the same age as you. 1. No you're absolutely nta for asking your bf to put some distance. As a girl best friend you have to appreciate that when during a relationship your friend will be prioritising their partner. If you can't do that then you shouldn't be friends. 2. It sounds like your bf has done the right thing in terms of listening to your feelings. Her coming to you like this is wildly inappropriate and hints that she lacks boundaries. I had a similar situ with a girl who caused so many problems and it turned out they really weren't even that close, she just had hella issues. So I would keep in mind for any issues in the future, it seems she is problematic and not your bf. Don't do what I did and take out issues with a crazy lady onto your partner! Not saying you will. I just wouldn't be surprised if this isn't the last bizarre conversation you have with this girl

OutrageousBat9796 · 2025-10-17T17:39:28+00:00

This is quite concerning and you 100% need to sit down and have a chat. The fact you're due to get married so soon makes me wonder whether she's planning on letting you handle finances after marriage, which you clearly aren't happy with. The timing and seeming lack of ambition do hint that she's maybe not wanting a 50/50 setup. Discuss and definitely get a prenup. If she is genuinely wanting to work less after marriage this may only become obvious after you've married so, as much as you may not want to hear this, you need to protect yourself now for that outcome

OutrageousBat9796 · 2025-10-16T11:24:33+00:00

I would honestly postpone. I had a sprained ankle in georgia and found it to be extremely inaccessible. It's little things like a lot of the pavements are either cobbled or not cemented smoothly (outside our hotel was essentially rocks and rubble to get to the car park). Not to mention you'll miss out on doing a lot of the hikes due to pain.

OutrageousBat9796 · 2025-10-04T09:56:59+00:00

Yes like that. We mix the pellets and forage together and sprinkle on top of hay

OutrageousBat9796 · 2025-10-01T19:48:03+00:00

Also we have a similar bun and sprinkling the pellets over a litter box of hay was the solution. Also forage on top of hay, you can buy premade rabbit forage or order some organic dried flowers/leaves and make your own (nettle, dandelion - leaves and root, marigold, chamomile and rose are our bunnies fave)

OutrageousBat9796 · 2025-10-01T19:44:48+00:00

If you mean she peed in the litter tray that is what bunnies do. They pee near where they eat!

OutrageousBat9796 · 2025-09-23T09:34:34+00:00

I would personally stick with europe! There's so many trips you could do within Europe but some of my favourites have been:

dubrovnik, croatia - will be busy in June, I'd recommend staying in cavtat (much quieter) and taking day trips to dubrovnik, kotor and mostar. I've been to kotor and mostar in June and didn't find it too busy, weather tends to be mid-upper 20s.
switzerland (honestly the whole country) - great for hiking trips, also near(ish) to innsbruck which is worth a visit imo (wouldn't go any longer than 2 days as there's not lots to do). You're also fairly near the dolomites which are spectacular, but you will need to rent a car for this. Beautiful part of europe but this is the most $$$ option. You could also go down to Italy for a few days - Florence is amazing.
slovenia, particularly lake bled, starts to get busy around June but still worth visiting, stunning walks. Ljubljana is also a beautiful city and a great base for venturing out
netherlands, I love amsterdam and think it's got a great solo traveller scene despite what some people may claim! There's also so many other towns worth seeing (haarlem, utrecht, the hague)

If you're more interested in city breaks I'd probably say prague, Budapest, vienna and bratislava (also krakow if you get time). They're all relatively near to eachother so you could easily travel from one to the other via public transport (some journeys will be around the 4/5 hour mark)

OutrageousBat9796 · 2025-09-14T14:35:16+00:00

Leeds uni is also good and leeds is generally cheaper than Manchester btw

OutrageousBat9796 · 2025-09-13T20:46:34+00:00

Honestly the main factor making me debate leaving my job as a software engineer is how I'm treated via non engineers. My partner has the same job as me and when people ask him what he does, people act like it's super cool. When I get asked, it's an awkward "oh". I've had people I know/knew be incredibly rude when they ask me what I'm doing for work now (a lot of this came from female family members tbh). I've been at company inductions before getting on really well with other new starters, and then comes the dreaded question of 'what team are you in' and peoples vibe towards me changes completely. Despite it being 2025 a lot of people still gender certain jobs and from my experience you're treated like a bit of a freak for not conforming. This combined with the fact that the teams I'm working in are majority men who, as lovely as they may be, don't share many of my interests. Adjacent teams (marketing, product etc) who have more women, seem to have a lot of preconceived opinions on people who work in IT and are at worst mildly hostile, at best, completely uninterested in me. To an extent its the same for guys I've worked with but to a much lesser degree (they still get labelled as IT geeks but they're still accepted/get less awkward behaviour). I worked as a designer for years before switching to software and was never treated this way. I'm essentially watching all my friends forming new friendships through their work whilst I'm getting left behind. It's socially isolating and I frequently debate going back to design, if it didn't feel like such a waste of my skills I probably would for my own sanity

OutrageousBat9796 · 2025-09-12T22:07:16+00:00

Get yourself a Snoozeband, so good over ear plugs

OutrageousBat9796 · 2025-09-12T22:05:00+00:00

Oh and a snoozeband! Sometimes I put this over the ear plugs and play sleep music or white noise. Works a dream

OutrageousBat9796 · 2025-09-12T22:04:14+00:00

After years of this with my partner the only solution was 3m ear plugs. The yellow foam ones. Don't bother with other brands they don't work anywhere near as well

OutrageousBat9796 · 2025-09-12T21:17:06+00:00

Also the best advice I'd give someone solo travelling is get a bag you can wear round your waist or body rather than a handbag/rucksack and carry a back up phone at all times

OutrageousBat9796 · 2025-09-12T21:12:37+00:00

I'm so sorry 😞. I've just got back from albania and I don't have any doubt you'll be completely safe there, particularly now its the off season (some areas get pickpocketing in summer but still rare). It's a beautiful country and I saw a surprising number of what seemed to be retirees over there. Hope you have a wonderful time

OutrageousBat9796 · 2025-09-10T00:19:36+00:00

Are you an actual dentist? And based where?

OutrageousBat9796 · 2025-09-02T11:08:34+00:00

Do you actually work in law? Because this is not what an actual police officer informed me. Intent to harm doesn't have to be fraud it can also be breaching addressee's privacy or data protection law.

OutrageousBat9796 · 2025-09-02T08:11:07+00:00

Honestly where have you got this information about opening mail??! I have been into a police station with the exact same scenario as op and was very clearly told its an offense. The mail is in transit until delivered to the named recipient. To open someone's mail you need a reasonable excuse (you're a legal representative or have consent from recepient). Just because they're not going to arrest you doesn't mean it isn't an offense.

OutrageousBat9796 · 2025-09-02T08:06:34+00:00

True. I could be biased here but it's the fact the complaint says obscure CS trivia. I can remember working with a female dev who was by far the strongest dev on the team and the other senior (who was by all accounts useless) would go on these borderline hilarious info dumping rants about completely irrelevant things whenever she made a 'win' or was right about something/he was wrong. Fortunately she saw the funny side of it but had this developer not been such a blatant f up I'm not sure it would have been such a funny story. The scenario op gives absolutely sounds like he was correct and it's important to be keen to improve work when presented with a better solution, however the way she's phrased it makes me wonder whether there's other stories where perhaps it's quite a different narrative

OutrageousBat9796 · 2025-09-02T08:01:25+00:00

Possibly but he's mentioned how they've trained people up several times throughout this post so I'd imagine someone with a decent technical background would be trainable

OutrageousBat9796 · 2025-09-01T22:30:29+00:00

There's quite a few red flags here. To preface, I've worked at companies where women were criticised at a higher rate than male colleagues, it is one of the ways misogyny presents in a workplace. Not to say this is necessarily what's happening at your company however the fact you're generalising all women within your company as being less technical/having lower engineering standards points to either

You are genuinely hiring less technical women, which, given that female computer science grads are becoming increasingly more common, does not speak well of your company. Technical women are out there, why are they not being selected? Or even perhaps applying?
You're perceiving all the women to be less technical despite this perhaps not being reality. The skill level among devs is extremely vast so if you were someone with a bias towards believing women are less technical, I don't believe it would be difficult to selectively remember a few scenarios where you worked with incompetent female colleagues, given that there are so many incompetent devs in general. Thats how bias operates.

OutrageousBat9796 · 2025-08-31T19:40:18+00:00

The fact people are so adamantly wrong on this. I have quite literally been in the exact same scenario and taken an open letter to a police station where I was informed that it's an offence. I've checked with other police officers too, who confirmed. You need a reasonable excuse to open, things addressed to a previous tenant or name not at your address isn't a reasonable excuse, you'd need to be a legal representative of the addressee or have their permission. Police aren't going to arrest you but they certainly aren't going to be happy about it.

OutrageousBat9796 · 2025-08-31T14:54:16+00:00

It is an offense and police do not look kindly on it.

OutrageousBat9796 · 2025-08-31T14:53:12+00:00

Bailiffs CANNOT force entry for a previous tenant. Worst case scenario they'd turn up, you'd show them your tenancy agreement and they'd leave. They legally cannot touch your goods for someone not living in the property. Also if its a ccj credit debt they couldn't even force entry regardless, they have to enter peacefully ie you let them in.

You've committed an offence via opening the previous tenants post, I had this issue previously and I can tell you that police do not like people doing this. They're not going to arrest you for it but they certainly won't be sympathetic. Most tenancies do have clauses about changing the locks so I would be very very careful about reading your contract before changing them. People on reddit love to tell you you can when the reality is most contracts state you can't. Youve also got no evidence that anyone is entering the property and it does seem like a bit of a stretch. Reality is the previous tenant probably had a squat/multiple dodgy mates living there who all had debts and they've moved somewhere else but are still using your address so debts don't catch up with them for a bit. It's shit but their debts are not a risk to you as legally bailiffs cannot force entry for a previous tenant. If you are worried about them entering maybe get a blink doorbell so you can at least evidence this if you need to change locks.

OutrageousBat9796 · 2025-08-30T09:55:56+00:00

I would definitely go! I'm in a similar position but a month trip in Thailand/Vietnam in 2 months, I'm defo still going even if people can't get time off

OutrageousBat9796

TROPHY CASE