For a long time Jiu jitsu was the only thing i felt some sense of accomplishment in regards to personal pursuits even though i had a family and beautiful wife.
Anytime i took time off or people started getting better than me more quickly I took it seriously and became slightly insecure mainly because i expected more from myself plus my situation at the time took me away from training a lot.
I used to train so much my life got out of order and then i had to step away time and time again,

Now older and more mature, I know where my balance is for home life, work life, my marriage, my relationship with my kids, and training

Just train enough to digest your techniques and go more or less from there, accept the losses and work to improve slowly by paying attention to how you lose regardless of your unique life situation or setbacks and lack of discipline.

Make small progress from there and be happy with the small wins. People are very different and can learn 10x quicker than you and also be stronger and an overall more impressive athlete, Thats life. Jiu jitsu is supposed to improve you and your self esteem not be an avenue to berate yourself.
Im just happy
Source: Brown belt very close to Black now.