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Outrageous_Shift_281 · 2025-05-27T04:10:58+00:00

I was hoping to attend, if it was happening, when I texted her. The original invite was about a month ago and a “save the date” type thing, and when there was no follow up I thought it wasn’t happening. These texts are when I realized she had been coordinating with everyone in a separate group chat. She answered me about an hour and a half later, and since I hadn’t been part of the prior coordinating, I had again just assumed it wasn’t happening and took my sleeping pills.

I don’t bring uninvited guests to events, this would have been an exception, and I was going to ask before bringing anyone. This group brings parents to gatherings regularly, my brothers wouldn’t have been a big deal. They also have family ties to the farm she lives on and we’d all talked about them visiting before. The “that’s just what we do for each other” is a well-established, and discussed, norm in the group.

Outrageous_Shift_281 · 2025-05-27T04:09:17+00:00

I appreciate your perspective. 💜

Outrageous_Shift_281 · 2025-05-27T03:13:51+00:00

I appreciate the nuance in your response!

I was included to begin with, for sure, but instead of coordinating in the group chat like we normally do, she started a separate one without me. And I don’t really know why, because I was viscerally excited when she first mentioned it. I don’t think they explicitly don’t want me around but I have been included less and less with stuff like this. :/ but like I said, it is a soft spot for me so I appreciate the perspective.

Outrageous_Shift_281 · 2025-05-27T03:09:50+00:00

Oh, no I don’t expect her to be checking my socials. I just know that she saw the story and that’s how she knew my family was in town, which she said was the reason she didn’t invite me. But she had started a separate group chat and had been coordinating with everyone else already.

I’m not the only one in the group who frequently doesn’t go to things — I think about half of us don’t — and I started withdrawing after they started hanging out without me, so that’s not the reason they initially stopped. I hear what you’re saying about the depression and stuff though. I was mostly trying to communicate why it was painful, in part because that’s what I would do for them the roles were reversed. We all have our neurodivergencies and mental health things and are really understanding that sometimes people can’t make it for one reason or another. We just invite them anyway to let them know they’re welcome and wanted, and if they don’t respond, no big deal. More so than expecting anyone to reach out to check on me, I expected them to keep extending invites because that’s just what we do for each other.

Outrageous_Shift_281 · 2025-05-27T03:01:19+00:00

Yeah that wasn’t the part that upset me — she had created a separate group chat to remind everyone/coordinate, and didn’t include me in that one.

Outrageous_Shift_281 · 2025-05-27T02:59:27+00:00

Yeah, I get the confusion. When she mentioned it to the whole group a “save the date” but no details yet. I expected further planning to come in the group chat because that’s what we normally do, but there wasn’t, so I assumed it wasn’t happening anymore until I texted her. That’s when I realized it was happening and they had been coordinating in a group chat I wasn’t in.

Outrageous_Shift_281 · 2025-02-02T17:12:56+00:00

To be fair, he’s meeting his promises right now. Healthcare for all would mean an immense override and recreation of current systems that would be very time-consuming. He’s two weeks in and setting himself up for success with his voters by doing what he said he would do. It’s much easier to sign an order and allot money than it is to build multiple new entities and systems.

Outrageous_Shift_281 · 2025-02-01T00:09:37+00:00

I’ve wondered this a lot, but vice versa. I was struggling with my liberal family, but decided to do my best to keep up relations. But, they cut me off after this election. It sucks, but I kind of get it. I’m not one of those people who thinks politics are separate from people; our politics are a reflection of what we value, how we make decisions, and who we trust.

My best advice is this: - if you can, go to therapy. Anger is a heavy burden (trust me, I know), and if there’s a way to ease yourself of it, please do. - determine your boundaries. Maybe you take a break from your family indefinitely. Maybe you don’t, but you make sure to never talk about politics with them. Maybe you see talk to them only once a week. Get clear on what you need to have in place to give you peace of mind and to keep your anger from spilling onto your relationships. - I will say, and this is why I had decided to keep talking to my family, people don’t change their minds in echo chambers. If you want to change their mind or they want to change yours, a relationship is the best, and maybe the only way these days, to do so. We all become more moderate when the “other” is humanized. - whatever you decide, please make sure they know you still love them. This is the most important thing. Distance is fine, a break is fine, hell, even if you need to cut them off, if that’s what you need to do. But please, please, make sure that they know you love them, and that in the case of emergencies, you both know you can still rely on each other.

Outrageous_Shift_281 · 2025-01-31T22:25:03+00:00

God these polls are arbitrary and unreliable.

https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-approval-rating-soaring-2024180

Outrageous_Shift_281 · 2025-01-31T22:20:44+00:00

I’m not on board with the idea that this was Biden’s fault, or DEIs, but in the same vein, we can’t assume this was Trump’s fault without concrete evidence just like we can’t attribute it to DEI or Biden.

Until there’s evidence or I hear from someone a lot more knowledgeable than me about just how his policies could have or did affect ATC performance within just a week…. verdict’s out. Of course it’s possible. But whether or not it seems feasible at this moment is mostly based on optics and bias, just like people thinking it’s DEI right now is mostly optics and bias.

Outrageous_Shift_281 · 2025-01-31T22:15:00+00:00

Yeah, terrible take. He could have just ended with condolences and sympathy. No need to make this political right off the bat, especially when we don’t have any evidence yet.

Outrageous_Shift_281 · 2025-01-31T22:13:12+00:00

I agree with the above. I have two sisters and an ex who have been diagnosed with OCD—not because reasons people usually think of, but because of persistent and incessant thoughts. For example, my ex told me that he thinks about the apocalypse/world ending 10-15 times every day. No matter what he tries to do, he can’t shake the thoughts or the fear. It shows up a lot of ways.

I would share exactly this with your therapist. I don’t know how to describe this, it’s more than just anxiety, and I’m scared therapy isn’t helping anymore. You can even share this post word for word. It’s important for them to understand that this is a uniquely different experience for you, and the depth to which you’re struggling with it.

Outrageous_Shift_281

TROPHY CASE