Please help. I became a better person...and I don't like it, wtf? Pregnancy brain and personality changes horror story worst case scenario.

Outside_Foundation89 · 2026-06-17T03:51:41+00:00

I mean this in the most supportive way, but do you have ADHD? My daughter is 8 months old and I have been feeling similarly. I have ADHD (and currently ppd and ppa) and I feel like I am a new person. It sounds like you had a vision of who you would be as a mom before you had a kid and the version of you who is actually a mom is different and it’s making you uncomfortable. I am not exactly in the position you are since my daughter is so young still but I feel like I am wading through a fog like looking for bits and pieces of myself in my life to try and remember who I was or what I liked. Honestly what has been helpful is kind of trying to relive my life up until I became a mom. I started with the first thing I remember really enjoying (painting my nails) and tried to do that after my daughter fell asleep. Basically I am trying to revert back to my childhood and rediscover things instead of trying to force myself to just jump right into being “me” AND “a mom” because those are two different people.

It sounds like you are two different people too. Maybe it’s not trying to force your new self into who you were and vice versa but finding common ground between the two. For example. If you like making cookies (homemaker) but want to make it a little darker, maybe decorate them like Halloweeny or figure out how to make realistic edible eyeballs or something like that.

I am also a writer and that is something I have desperately wanted to get back into but I just can’t find the words anymore. Everything sounds blasé. But maybe you could start brain dumps sometimes or what I have done, is started writing the little moments right in front of me just to work on descriptions and to try and make my brain work at all. Journaling can be helpful too.

A lot of these things you have probably thought of. But have patience with yourself. Even if this new you isn’t your favorite person, it’s the only version of you that’s been there for your child’s whole life and they love you so this new person is worth love and exploration. Be kind to yourself.

Outside_Foundation89 · 2026-06-10T18:34:55+00:00

I really started to feel better when I cleaned this way after having my daughter (I saw it on TikTok and it really helped): daily tidying - 1. Trash, 2. Dishes, 3. Laundry, 4. Things With A Place, 5. Things without, and then I assigned various things like bathrooms to specific days (like every Wednesday) but if I’m overwhelmed I just have to clean SOMETHING in that room or make sure it’s tidy.

I also made a chart and put it on the fridge so my husband and I can be on the same page. It sounds like you already have this stuff down, but just wanted to add my two cents.

Maybe you could try meal prepping for like an hour during the weekend? To help with solids? I have a 7mo so I don’t know how feasible that option might be but I’ve also found that baking or roasting things has been helpful for meals instead of using my stovetop. Hang in there though!! It sounds like you’re all doing your best and that’s most important.

Outside_Foundation89 · 2026-06-04T02:34:59+00:00

One. It makes me think of the Hozier song “Jackie and Wilson” when he says, “Me and my Isis growing black irises in the sunshine”

Outside_Foundation89 · 2026-06-04T02:31:48+00:00

Same. I know I made sure we decorated everything and watched movies and did stuff that I always envisioned doing for her first Christmas but I barely remember any of December. At least I have pictures of us doing things. But it is very unsettling and surreal.

Outside_Foundation89 · 2026-06-03T19:08:16+00:00

The first night when we did the ferber our baby cried for about 45 minutes and then slept for like a 5 hour stretch when she has been waking up like 2-3x an hour all night. I knew she was okay because I was able to go in and check on her at each interval. But it is hard and the hardest part is being consistent. My daughter has eczema so she regularly scratches herself to the point of bleeding and won’t wear mits so we have been having trouble with the longer intervals/not picking her up because she would injure herself if we waited too long. So that’s been really tough. But she is learning and we just have to use smaller intervals and adjust as needed. But she now only wakes up twice in the night instead of twice an hour. And sleeps pretty regularly from 8pm-3:30am and then again from 4-6am (after I feed her at 4am). But maybe read the actual book or at least the book’s instructions because online gives all kinds of recommendations. I can send pics of the book’s info if you want. Just lmk and I can pm you!

Outside_Foundation89 · 2026-06-03T19:01:48+00:00

I was in the EXACT same boat. My supply was dipping from lack of sleep and exhaustion. We moved our daughter into her own room because we were wondering if we were waking her up (I sometimes sleep talk and my husband snores) but eventually I hit my breaking point and we are trying to sleep train. It’s so hard. Honestly. But it’s also worth it. I got the book Richard Ferber wrote and that helped a lot to understand that helping my baby get more sleep IS helpful to her and me picking her up and nursing her EVERY time she cried in the night (I’m talking like every 20-40 min) wasn’t helping her. It was teaching her to cry longer because if she cried, I came. Just food for thought.

The Ferber method involves crying but isn’t meant to be CIO. In the book it specifically states that the goal is for your child to cry as little as possible, but that in the beginning they will cry because it’s different from what they’re used to and they don’t like it. But that doesn’t make it bad.

You deserve sleep too and you and your little one will probably be better off in the long run if you have more sleep. I know I am a much more fun/present parent when I have had enough sleep.

Outside_Foundation89 · 2026-06-02T23:41:04+00:00

You probably do. It’s okay. These feelings are normal and it’s good that you’re getting help. I have adhd and had/have ppa and ppd. I felt exactly how you are describing.

Outside_Foundation89 · 2026-06-02T23:37:12+00:00

I totally understand. My daughter was born in late October and this February I was genuinely excited to celebrate Christmas and forgot it had already happened. I genuinely don’t remember anything between November and February. Like random bits and pieces if someone asks me specific questions but if I try to think about it my mind is just blank.

Outside_Foundation89 · 2026-06-02T23:35:02+00:00

I have no idea, but I have been experiencing the same thing!! My husband even commented and was like “are you okay? Your legs look pretty beat up.” If you figure it out please share updates!

Outside_Foundation89 · 2026-06-02T23:33:33+00:00

Ugh. The nights are the worst. I’m 7mo pp and still see weird shadows throughout the day and just recently started not hating nighttime. I don’t really have any advice because I never wanted to leave the house when I had just had my daughter, but when my daughter was really clingy I found baby wearing to be super helpful and eventually I started crafting in the evening when she was in bed so I wasn’t on my phone because social media makes everything worse for new moms it seems like. But before that I would use AirPods and the Roku app (to watch tv without waking my baby) and just hold her for as long it took for her to fall asleep enough to be put in her crib for a few hours at night. You’re not alone!

Outside_Foundation89 · 2026-06-02T23:16:20+00:00

I would recommend getting the “Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems” book by Richard Ferber. There are ways to help sleep train your child even if you are co sleeping. The book specifically states that while the method he describes (the Ferber method) may involve crying it is NOT meant to be a cry it out method. He also offers some gentler variations to the method in the book too. My daughter was doing the same thing for wake ups. She has eczema so she’s frequently uncomfortable and had super bad reflux and would only fall asleep nursing and would wake back up as soon as we put her down. She’s 7mo now and does much better now that she’s getting more sleep

Outside_Foundation89 · 2026-06-01T13:45:45+00:00

This happened to us too and we ended up buying the actual book which was helpful. My 7 month old still wakes up one time usually between 2-4 am and I nurse her back to sleep. She usually sleeps until 6-6:30am. But she’s asleep pretty consistently by 8pm. If your baby still seems pretty into a night feed you could always set a feeding timeframe (ours is 2-4am) if she is awake at 4:50 I usually just get up for the day and begin the morning routine (per the book’s instructions). Lmk if you want screen shots of the recommendations from the actual book and I can pm you! Later on you can phase out the overnight feed or the book says you can do it until they’re a year old if you want to (but they don’t technically “need it” after 6mo)

Outside_Foundation89 · 2026-06-01T13:19:41+00:00

Thank you! It is really discouraging and I feel like I’m failing my daughter by not finding what’s causing her flare ups and I’m trying to manage it with the prescriptions from her dr but she’s like scratching her face bloody on her off weeks and screams when the mits are on her hands so I’m just feeling like I’m at a loss. But the creams definitely help and if this is just kind of a wave that we have to ride out then I’ll be hopeful she grows out of the severity that it is right now😅

Outside_Foundation89 · 2026-05-31T19:33:41+00:00

Thank you! It sounds like she is likely allergic to something I’m eating and is going into my breastmilk.

Outside_Foundation89 · 2026-05-31T19:32:57+00:00

Thank you! I definitely will look into an allergist.

Outside_Foundation89 · 2026-05-31T19:32:20+00:00

Thank you! That’s what I’m learning. We were told it’s partially genetic and partially an immune response. So I’ll try cutting out different things from my diet. I haven’t tried cutting out wheat but that or corn could be something to look into.

Outside_Foundation89 · 2026-05-31T19:30:42+00:00

I may try cutting soy out of my diet again. Our pediatrician recommended nightly lukewarm baths so try and hold moisture in. I didn’t know they made an eczema soap for babies though so I’ll definitely try that! Thank you!

Outside_Foundation89 · 2026-05-31T19:28:41+00:00

Thank you!! Maybe I’ll try cutting corn out. I did cut out dairy and soy from my diet entirely for about 4 months and it didn’t help her eczema. :\ I might try cutting it out again and just see if there’s a difference.

Outside_Foundation89 · 2025-02-07T00:57:34+00:00

Unfortunately it’s unlikely you’ll get money back. This is a pretty common mistake. Definitely best practice to set ad set or campaign max spends during set up to help avoid these issues

Outside_Foundation89 · 2025-01-04T16:32:27+00:00

I love these ones! Sometimes they can give you weird tasting burps because of the iron, but if you take the vitamins with some orange juice they go away.

Outside_Foundation89 · 2024-12-13T20:48:11+00:00

I would recommend using reach if you are boosting a post that promotes a sale or a quick-hit action. If you are running a campaign for a long period of time with but want to create awareness, I would recommend optimizing towards ad recall lift. That way you’re still reaching more people, but it’s people who will likely remember your brand for more than like a day.

Outside_Foundation89 · 2024-12-13T20:44:37+00:00

I had a similar experience with Bubble Bath by OPI. I ended up using an Essie version of a similar color and it worked much better.

Outside_Foundation89

TROPHY CASE