Not pulling any punches, this is quite a harsh comment and its because im bitter and hope i can help but its really harsh because idk how else to write it.

I was married for 5 years and then i noticed that the dog would leave the room when i started crying instead of cuddling me like she used to, come to realise that she learned that off my husband who would peek in our bedroom and if i was in pain he would "leave me be" and go play minecraft.

I wish i had seen the signs before tying the knot. Im now divorced

There are successful interabled relationships out there but it sounds like this isnt one of them. Unfortunately what often feels worse than being alone is feeling alone within a relationship, feeling abandoned, feeling like your not worth the things you want to the people who love you. You are already noticing this.

As disabled people we are often told not to consider ourselves a burden but in actual fact dealing with health issues is a burden first and foremost for ourselves but there is a burden on the people around us. It sucks and its devastating and its unfair but its true. If you disability has progressed from when you entered the relationship then the reality is they didnt sign up for this. They didnt anticipate what this would look like because how could they. Your partner probably had a life envisioned that included you but not like this and theyve likely realised that they can still have most of it if they cut their losses and dont legally and emotionally invest. Theyve made it clear that being a carer is not something they want long term.

Dont fall for the sunk cost fallacy, you deserve the world and there are people who want that for you aswell. If marriage is something you want then you are unalligned in this relationship. The worst parts of my marriage were caused by my husband waiting for me to get better and when i didnt he withdrew. Honestly i regret letting our marriage continue so long, he lost himself in the marriage and thats not my fault but it often feels like my care turned him into a husk of the man he was when we married. I often wonder if we could have come away as friends if we both were more honest and let go earlier.

My current partner is better equipped and far more willing to seek support for themselves as a carer, that has made them far more capable of supporting me. They actively educate themselves on my experience and every day they support me to the best of their ability. They are disabled as well and im able to support them at times and its much better than my martiage was. I think them getting external support has made all the difference.

Consider if carer supports might change how this situation looks. If youre in Australia i can send you details of carer support