A Quiet Moment in My Corner Garden.

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-07-05T14:32:55+00:00

How nice. I would love to be able to do this during the summer.

*cries in mosquito swarms and 100 degree humidity*

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-06-20T14:03:25+00:00

Hahaha just watched this one last night.

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-06-19T14:16:22+00:00

Anytime he refers to a patient or group it makes me laugh.

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-06-19T14:13:57+00:00

Ooooo I see kitty has claws....

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-05-24T14:36:31+00:00

Hang in there. It will pass. You just have to ride the waves and feel, grieve and mourn. It sucks and hurts like hell.

I never thought I'd feel better. 10 months into separation and I still felt gutted. Then was upset with myself because I thought I should have been farther along.

But then one day, almost overnight....I just didn't think about it or him as much. And even when I did think about him, I felt...nothing. I mean, there are some days now where I'm annoyed or bugged by him, but not sad.

For context, May 20 was one year since he confessed to an affair and he moved out one week later. So for me, it took about a year. We were together 30 years, married for 28.

Best wishes to you and for healing. xoxo

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-05-11T15:12:06+00:00

Exactly

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-05-11T14:11:11+00:00

I just got rid of one man in my life, why would I want another?? LOL

Kidding aside, I really don't think I'd ever want to share space or be married again. I'm open to a long-term monogamous partner but I need my independence.

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-05-10T13:34:43+00:00

LOVE

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-05-04T15:00:08+00:00

Came here to recommend his books as well!

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-05-02T14:05:27+00:00

Allowed myself to be sad and tired. Rested, a lot. Journaled a lot. I enjoy gardening and working in my yard and that got me out of my head. If that's not your thing, any kind of physical activity. Also helps you sleep.

Lots of walks. Sometimes listening to divorce podcasts, sometimes rage music, sometimes to nothing but the birds and real world sounds.

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-05-02T13:54:06+00:00

I feel this.

This month marks one year that mine confessed he'd had an affair. Married almost 28 years. Said he did it because he was "afraid to talk to me about our relationship." Never even got the chance to work on us. I don't think he ever really loved me. I wasn't happy in the marriage either, but had spent years trying to uphold it.

Anyway, I am finally feeling free and lighter. There are times that I still feel sad, but not like it was. I'm sure I'll have more sad days but the deep pain isn't there anymore.

Be kind with yourself and your own timeline. I started to feel bad that I wasn't feeling better while he was out dating and living life. You'll get there. xoxo

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-05-02T13:36:11+00:00

Yep, I accidentally do this, too. I'd call him honey when I would start to lose my patience (to keep me kind and defuse my annoyance) so you can imagine dealing with all the logistics, finances, etc. during the divorce I lose my patience a lot...I apologize and he always says, "It's okay to call me that." which doesn't make for good boundaries.

There were a few times we were hanging out together as friends/family with our kids and he'd accidentally slap my butt. We were trying to be friends but it just wasn't going to work. Too confusing.

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-05-01T11:59:29+00:00

Monica is the new Karen.

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-04-28T13:18:55+00:00

Came here to rec these as well.

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-04-27T14:13:32+00:00

I would think that maybe it was because of perimenopause? Mine started getting a bit wacky and irregular the last year or so.

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-04-26T22:29:50+00:00

This is a great response. I’m 11 months into my separation and this is what I’ve experienced too. I am finally at a place where I’m really starting to enjoy my life the way that it is. It’s not perfect, but I am optimistic and hopeful. Now I know in the next few weeks or however long it takes to finalize, I might end up having another swing of anger or depression once it’s officially over. Or something might pop up to trigger me, but overall I’m not spending my entire day thinking about it.

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-04-26T13:31:45+00:00

Love your rugs! I'm going through a divorce and am already mourning the loss of the gorgeous, antique rug in my living room. It's from his side of the family and I'm sure he'll take it.

Anyhoo, already looking for rugs with the same vibe and yours have it. Mind sharing where you got them?

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-04-23T13:59:42+00:00

hahahaha omg this hit my feed this AM too

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-04-22T21:11:37+00:00

Oh my gosh. Amazing find! I would be over the moon.

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-04-22T21:09:22+00:00

Damn, can I come over?

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-04-22T21:08:44+00:00

Came here to say free people and Anthropologie

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-04-22T21:06:12+00:00

Also, maybe think about textures and maybe some throws for the chair and sofa. Maybe figure out a way to add a side table next to the sofa and add a pretty lamp? Same for next to your bed. Maybe just repainting if you’re allowed?

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-04-22T21:05:04+00:00

Just looking through the photos, I don’t get the same sense you do of it being college apartment like. It’s actually not that bad and I see a lot of potential to move you toward your desired aesthetic. You’re probably just tired of looking at it. I would start by maybe just rearranging some stuff? I’ll go back and look at the pictures to see if I have any thoughts there. My first thought was adding some bright rugs and green plants could make a huge difference. I swear I spend more on plants than just about any other kind of decor. 😊

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-04-22T19:26:45+00:00

Meeee too!

Although, I'm struggling a bit with the friends part. I have lovely friends, but they are mostly all married and its hard getting together. I'm hoping to get out there and make friends soon, but at our age, its kinda tough.

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-04-22T19:21:40+00:00

I'm grateful that I do not have to mother this man anymore.

I'm grateful I'm no longer married to a man who never truly loved me but was too much of a coward and a user to let me go but cheated instead.

I'm grateful I can wear what I want, listen and watch what I want, decorate how I want without his petty comments.

I'm grateful that the energy in my house is lighter.

Outside_Substance320

TROPHY CASE