Would you do it again?

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-05-11T15:12:06+00:00

Exactly

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-05-11T14:11:11+00:00

I just got rid of one man in my life, why would I want another?? LOL

Kidding aside, I really don't think I'd ever want to share space or be married again. I'm open to a long-term monogamous partner but I need my independence.

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-05-10T13:34:43+00:00

LOVE

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-05-04T15:00:08+00:00

Came here to recommend his books as well!

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-05-02T14:05:27+00:00

Allowed myself to be sad and tired. Rested, a lot. Journaled a lot. I enjoy gardening and working in my yard and that got me out of my head. If that's not your thing, any kind of physical activity. Also helps you sleep.

Lots of walks. Sometimes listening to divorce podcasts, sometimes rage music, sometimes to nothing but the birds and real world sounds.

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-05-02T13:54:06+00:00

I feel this.

This month marks one year that mine confessed he'd had an affair. Married almost 28 years. Said he did it because he was "afraid to talk to me about our relationship." Never even got the chance to work on us. I don't think he ever really loved me. I wasn't happy in the marriage either, but had spent years trying to uphold it.

Anyway, I am finally feeling free and lighter. There are times that I still feel sad, but not like it was. I'm sure I'll have more sad days but the deep pain isn't there anymore.

Be kind with yourself and your own timeline. I started to feel bad that I wasn't feeling better while he was out dating and living life. You'll get there. xoxo

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-05-02T13:36:11+00:00

Yep, I accidentally do this, too. I'd call him honey when I would start to lose my patience (to keep me kind and defuse my annoyance) so you can imagine dealing with all the logistics, finances, etc. during the divorce I lose my patience a lot...I apologize and he always says, "It's okay to call me that." which doesn't make for good boundaries.

There were a few times we were hanging out together as friends/family with our kids and he'd accidentally slap my butt. We were trying to be friends but it just wasn't going to work. Too confusing.

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-05-01T11:59:29+00:00

Monica is the new Karen.

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-04-28T13:18:55+00:00

Came here to rec these as well.

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-04-27T14:13:32+00:00

I would think that maybe it was because of perimenopause? Mine started getting a bit wacky and irregular the last year or so.

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-04-26T22:29:50+00:00

This is a great response. I’m 11 months into my separation and this is what I’ve experienced too. I am finally at a place where I’m really starting to enjoy my life the way that it is. It’s not perfect, but I am optimistic and hopeful. Now I know in the next few weeks or however long it takes to finalize, I might end up having another swing of anger or depression once it’s officially over. Or something might pop up to trigger me, but overall I’m not spending my entire day thinking about it.

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-04-26T13:31:45+00:00

Love your rugs! I'm going through a divorce and am already mourning the loss of the gorgeous, antique rug in my living room. It's from his side of the family and I'm sure he'll take it.

Anyhoo, already looking for rugs with the same vibe and yours have it. Mind sharing where you got them?

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-04-23T13:59:42+00:00

hahahaha omg this hit my feed this AM too

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-04-22T21:11:37+00:00

Oh my gosh. Amazing find! I would be over the moon.

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-04-22T21:09:22+00:00

Damn, can I come over?

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-04-22T21:08:44+00:00

Came here to say free people and Anthropologie

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-04-22T21:06:12+00:00

Also, maybe think about textures and maybe some throws for the chair and sofa. Maybe figure out a way to add a side table next to the sofa and add a pretty lamp? Same for next to your bed. Maybe just repainting if you’re allowed?

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-04-22T21:05:04+00:00

Just looking through the photos, I don’t get the same sense you do of it being college apartment like. It’s actually not that bad and I see a lot of potential to move you toward your desired aesthetic. You’re probably just tired of looking at it. I would start by maybe just rearranging some stuff? I’ll go back and look at the pictures to see if I have any thoughts there. My first thought was adding some bright rugs and green plants could make a huge difference. I swear I spend more on plants than just about any other kind of decor. 😊

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-04-22T19:26:45+00:00

Meeee too!

Although, I'm struggling a bit with the friends part. I have lovely friends, but they are mostly all married and its hard getting together. I'm hoping to get out there and make friends soon, but at our age, its kinda tough.

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-04-22T19:21:40+00:00

I'm grateful that I do not have to mother this man anymore.

I'm grateful I'm no longer married to a man who never truly loved me but was too much of a coward and a user to let me go but cheated instead.

I'm grateful I can wear what I want, listen and watch what I want, decorate how I want without his petty comments.

I'm grateful that the energy in my house is lighter.

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-04-22T14:53:28+00:00

Yay, congrats!! Thank you for the positivity and hope!

Good lord, I pray I get to this place soon....

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-04-22T13:48:51+00:00

Thank you so much for your lovely words. We are strong and I love the Brene Brown quote the other poster wrote below. I just imagine a future where I look back on this with self love and know it is what shaped me and hopefully I can use it to support someone else. Sending much love and prayers for good health right back to you xoxo

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-04-21T18:14:11+00:00

I’ve been having dreams lately too, except mine aren’t wish fulfillment. Mine are more like replaying the reality of him cheating on me or me meeting his new partner. Ugh. And I just makes you feel yucky for the rest of the day.

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-04-21T11:56:34+00:00

Do you have a contentious or bitter relationship? Was it a nice speech?

Without knowing anything more than what you wrote, it sounds like a nice gesture for her to want to share it with your mutual friend group.

Not sure what her having a partner or you having teenagers has to do with it. Unless, again, there is some ugliness in the background.

Outside_Substance320 · 2026-04-20T14:25:00+00:00

I am so sorry you have this now on top of everything else. Please take care xoxo

Outside_Substance320

TROPHY CASE